Being Jealous
by mine29
Summary: Love triangle with Alison, Emily and Maya. Set before everything else. Characters based on the tv series. Hope you give it a shot...
1. Intro

**This is an introduction of how our pretty little liars met alison. Basically the story will revolve around alison, emily and maya. Yes, maya is already here. This is set before everything else. hope you find this interesting!**

**Characters are based on the tv series. emily is the same, alison is a little less bitch and maya is more confident.**

**Dont own anything...**

**FIRST ENCOUNTERS**

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**spencer hastings**

Spencer Hastings got my attention first in an English class on the start of sixth grade. This is my first time I get to share a class with her. First time I saw her answer every question the teacher asked. I just smirked when Spencer noticed me looking at her. It's kind of weird because i didn't know I will be curious to her. I heard a lot about Spencer and I thought im gonna be irritated by smarty pants but as I watch her answer I got drawn to her and when she looked at me it looks like she's challenging me. Looks like I finally found a person who didn't get scared of me. The rest of the class passes by quickly and I looked at Spencer again and stood in front of her, "your smart." then leave while her mouth is open in a mixture of surprise and annoyance.

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**aria montgomery**

as I walked down to my next class I got bumped by a small girl with blue black hair. She didn't even acknowledge me and say sorry, I instantly got irritated and pulled her back to me. "What's your problem? You just bumped into me."

"sorry." she answered simply then walks away. I don't know what made me curious about her but ever since that happened I always looked for a blue black hair and wanted to know more about her. I asked naomi and riley if they knew her but she is just another student in their class and is not worth their attention to know her name. im really starting to be annoyed with the two of them. When im with them we always talked about the same thing, boys make up and gossip. Always the same nothing new. as we get to class an announcement is being made on the overhead speaker. there will be some dumb swim meet next week and hoped that everyone will be there and support the whole swim team. Fat chance, I will not waste my time going there and watch people swim. Even when boys there are in trunks. I prefer the beach anyways. "Aria, why are you late?" the teacher asked the student in front. Oh so her name is aria.

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**hanna marin**

Naomi, riley and me are on our regular table doing what we usually do, gossip. im really getting tired of this. See we are the queen bee of rosewood high and everybody adores us, especially me. im the leader and you will be stupid to think im not. "Hey ali we should go to the swim meet. It's always fun to see boys be over competitive in their trunks. Don't you think?" naomi said, and as usual riley is all go so what the hell, I said ok. Its looks like I have no choice and besides they are boys in trunks. No questions. "Look at hanna, she really is getting big. Look at her lunch." "Ooh, yes, that looks like my meal for the whole day." I smiled for that comment of riley. hanna is also in my grade that may look popular if she just lays off on food and wash her hair and a really total make over. I sometimes feel bad for her but it's not my job to fix her.

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**emily field**

here we are on the swim meet and there are the boys in their trunks. Boring. Naomi and riley kept up the usual boys talk, who is the hottest and not. As I survey the swimmers my eyes saw some interesting guys but looks like there are much older than us. But this does not worry me. I can get anyone I want; I am alison dilaurentis and im fabulous. Although looks like I need to wait to finish this dumb swim meet to make my move to that guy from the other school. They are all so into cheering their team. As I effort my self to focus on the girls swimming their laps I get to notice the leading one, I know she is also in my grade. Wow she is fast. She is leading in a very comfortable pace. As she finished first and get out of the water I noticed she is very pretty. Don't get me wrong here im not gay or anything. I just appreciate beauty whoever that person is. And I must say that girl is the most beautiful face I have ever seen. With her perfect eyes and lips, pointed nose and black hair. She does not look like a girl that wants to be popular even her beauty is not screaming popularity, just plain beauty. That's it. Not in a cheerleader kind if way. Then someone spoke, "and emily fields won again for the 100m butterfly division. That girl is in a roll!" oh so she is emily. ive been hearing her name and I know she is a big jock but I don't know that she is swimmer. I thought it's a different sport. Oh well I better get to know a whole lot of person in this school. It's kind of frustrating that all I know here are the popular ones. As the IT girl I need to know everyone to be sure no one will challenge me.

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**THE BIG MEET UP**

its another boring day in class. Its homeroom so nothing exciting is happening. As I glance around the room and look at my classmates I saw spencer and hanna are talking in a corner not really talking but they are talking. In another corner emily and aria are talking animatedly. I didn't know they are friends. "Hey naomi you know emily right? Why is she not popular? I mean she is champion jock. Not just someone in the swim team." naomi raised one eyebrow to me then answered me, "I didn't know you are interested with her." in return I put on my most don't-care-just-asking-look "im just wondering. I mean she got the looks and body even the image." this time riley answered me, "because she is best friend with kooky aria." oh ok. That explains things. In this school whoever your friends are that's you. Even you are totally different. Just like emily and aria. Aria is the outcast, loner and different so emily being friends with her she is also an outcast, loner and different. im beginning to be really curious with the four of them. There is something in them that pulls me to them and pushing me away from these two. Who, with no surprise at all, comes back in gossiping and talking about shopping? "Cut it you two, is there anything you want to talk about other than make up and shopping?" "Boys" they both answered. "By the way what's going on between you and that seventh grade? Are you steady dating now?" asked naomi.

This time I let out a loud groan, "its just one date and I hate his choice of clothes so I dump him." that earned a healthy laugh from both of them. This is the usual conversation. Ugh, im bored. Then I have an idea. Lunch is next and since im bored with this two and there are no interesting boys around might as well ask someone to have lunch with me.

spencer and hanna had stopped talking when I sat beside with them. Ok, the look on hanna's face is worth a thousand dollar. She is in a middle of saying something and because im here she didn't get to close it with wide opened eyes.

"Hey, mind if I sit with you guys?"

"Uh what do you want?" spencer asked forcefully.

"No need to be angry, I just want to ask about something in our English class." I improvise. English is the class we both are in, right? Yes it's English.

"I don't think so. You know every answer you're just lazy to answer." spencer answered again.

I laugh with that, she is so right, but of course I will not tell her that. "Just meet me in lunch ok? This could be fun."

"Ok" finally spencer surrendered with me.

This whole time hanna is just staring at us. Then I turned to talk with her, "come too hanna, please. By the way I love your earrings. Can I borrow it sometimes?" smiling then I left to go to the other two. This is such fun.

I wave back to hanna and spencer but looks like they are still entranced that I talk to them. alison dilaurentis asked them to go to lunch. Ha! I love having this kind of power.

"Hi emily! Congratulations on your win. I watched yesterday you know." I immediately started with the two of them. But got disappointed because they are not that surprise, no million dollar face. Their expression is just plain curiosity. Aria even looked around her and makes sure that I am talking to emily.

"Uhm are you talking to me?" emily asked in her tiny voice. Aria instantly holds emily to be some sort of protective. How sweet. Looks like they really are friends.

"Yes, and don't worry aria I will not harm your friend. I just want to invite both of you in lunch. Will you go?" I asked sweetly. I know they will not resist my charm.

"How do you know my name?" aria asked innocently. Looks like she didn't hear my invitation. "Yeah, and what did we do with you?" emily piped in. ok, Emily did have the cutest face here in rosewood, beside mine of course and maybe hanna. After an afterthought.

"Nothing, don't worry. Just look for me in lunch ok? See you later." I waved and get back to my chair with naomi and riley.

"What was that? Why are you making friends with those dorks?" riley asked me first. Looks like they watched me while inviting those four in lunch.

"Oh nothing, just change in atmosphere." I answered lazily and besides I don't know why myself. I just know there is something about the four of them. Something in a way spencer is always ready for a debate, in hanna's lack of confidence, being different of aria and emily, just being her. Ok I guess she is a jock and she's beautiful. Honestly I don't know why I want to know emily but there's no need for reason in everything right? Right.

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**the ending**

after that faithful meet up, here we are after two years we are now best friends. Seventh year is the start of our hanging out regularly and we became close slowly. On our eight year we really are close and bonded. I still don't know what makes me change best friends and got these dorks. But they are my dorks and I love all of them. I love how spencer is so competitive, love how unique aria is and love how adorable and funny hanna is. For emily? Hmm when I think about it I still don't know what pulls me to emily. She is just so normal. Except for being a cry baby, champion swimmer, defends me like a pit bull, don't care about stylish clothes and she's drop dead gorgeous. I guess I still don't have any reason and I think I still don't need one. I just love her. All four of them.

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**Hope you are interested on where this is going...please review!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Ok, here is the start. Hope you will like it!**

**Being Jealous 01**

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**HANDS**

**Alison POV**

this is us on our ninth year now, goofing off on a Friday. "Hurry up you three!" I shouted to spencer aria and hanna. "You ok em?" while still holding her hand. We are just jogging but then it gets to a contest that who ever is the last one to reach the bench on the park is the one who will buy us snacks. fortunately me and emily won, well basically because I keep on tugging her and not letting her hand go so she have no choice but to keep up. But of course this is nothing with her. emily is a champion swimmer so she have the stamina of us four. Panting slightly me and emily sat at the bench waiting for the other three. They are still a long way to go. So I switched my gaze to the brunette beside me. She is also catching her breath but still looks cute. "Have some water em." as I toss her my bottle.

"thanks." she answered a little shyly then looked at our hands that are still holding each other. She blushed and looked away to the three. spencer reached the bench third then aria and with no surprise hanna is the last.

I smiled and know what emily is thinking. I figured her out a while ago. I know she have a crush on me. Although im still not sure to what extent is that crush is. So here I am teasing her every time I get a chance. Besides im enjoying it too. I get a tingling sensation when she is close to me so it's no problem with me.

"Sorry hanna, your last! You're going to treat us!" Emily said still a little red in her cheeks. I know she is just busying her self with the others so that she will not notice my hand is still with her. im so much enjoying this while I grin to myself.

While hanna and the others are joking to where will she treat us snacks I tugged emily behind so that she will be walking beside me. "Hey, walk faster ali or are you still tired?" emily asked me with concern.

"You are so cute em, im not tired. I just want to walk slowly. Let them do the talking." I answered simply. im really enjoying this teasing. In return emily smiled shyly and looked again at our hands.

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**Emily POV**

ok, I think I have enough butterflies in my stomach to last for a lifetime. The long walk from the park to ice cream shop ali just keeps on holding my hand. Every time she smiled with my little jokes my heart keeps on jumping like a maniac. Finally when we reached the ice cream shop ali released my hand and go straight to the counter with hanna to order. My hand is cold without ali's hand but still she held my hand. I can't stop grinning and maybe I look like fool because aria nudged spencer and both starts laughing.

"Hey what are you laughing about?"

"what happened to you? You look like a kid that's have a hundred of gifts waiting to be opened." spencer can't stop laughing.

"Nothing. im just happy we won." while I sat beside aria.

"Ok. We will not argue about it." aria said then they continued talking about something. Good, they stopped talking about me. im still lost in my own world with ali. I have a crush on her since i don't know and I have an idea that ali knows it and she keeps on punishing me by teasing me a little. Like that little holding hands. But still she touched my hand and I have no complain about it. Still smiling to my self.

"Here are the ice creams. em, ali chose for you. She said that's what you like." hanna said while sitting beside spencer.

I hid my surprise but smiled to ali. She keeps on doing this stuff to me, always buying me stuffs and ordering my food. if she keeps on doing this to me I might start to think that we are like a couple. "Thanks ali" I nudged her with my shoulder since she sat down beside me.

"Your welcome. By the way emz, we have a shopping date tomorrow ok? Ill go to your house after lunch." ali said while enjoying her choco fudge sundae.

"Hey how come were not invited!" hanna piped in, while she pouts her lips.

"Because I need an unbiased advice, not from someone who will tell me the dress is ugly just so that she can buy the dress herself!" while looking directly at aria and smiling remembering that particular day at the mall.

"Oh yes, is that the red halter top dress?" aria replies as she remembers too.

We all laugh because after that aria and ali keeps on bickering and tugging the dress and as a result the dress rips in half.

"I still have my piece!" spencer piped in. then we all laugh again.

"Then you have a clear reason why I only invited emily." ali said in between giggles. She is so cute when she is laughing like this. Control yourself emily, beside you will be with ali again tomorrow. The whole day with just the two of you. As ali put it, they have a date. Ok I omit the shopping word but still it's a date. im so happy.

"Yeah, emily have no desire to get a dress for herself except if we shove it forcefully thru her body." hanna answered in delight.

"That's right, emily is just interested on her swim shirts so she is perfect companion if you want to go shopping. We all agreed on that right?" aria said while slamming her palm on the table like what their talking about is something that should be settle on court. in return the three of them replied "aye!" and burst again with small fits of giggles.

"Am I that bad on clothes?" I interrupted their laughter's.

Again everyone looked at me then to each other then said yes. I groaned out loud. But the good part is ali touched my hand again, under the table away from everyone's gaze, then squeeze it a, little reassuring me. Usually this means I really don't need a dress I just want to spend time with you. And that's enough for me to faint with happiness.

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**Alison POV**

after that ice cream we all went our separate ways. aria said she needed to check out her mom's gallery, spencer needs to go to the library while hanna needs to go home to fix herself for the arrival of her father. emily also needs to go home for some chores but of course she still needs to walk me home. Its part of our daily routine. Whatever we do the whole day even if she really needs to go somewhere she can't say no if I ask her to walk me home but now it's understood between us. She needs to walk me home every time we went somewhere. So here we are, im holding on emily's arm while talking nonsense and still laughing. im really comfortable while hanging out with emily. Mostly if it's just the two of us. I hang out separately with aria spencer and hanna too but its different with only emily. Its feel like if its only hanna im with, it feels like were not complete, other girls supposed to be with us. It's just not comfortable, not unlike with emily. But I know emily is not the same. She can hang out like this too with aria. Before I brought together our own little group emily and aria are really close, well not that close but they are always together. I even thought they are best friends but they just hang out with each other because I don't know. They also can't explain it but my hunch is because they both have laid back personality. Even though emily is an athlete and aria is a future writer they are both relaxed and get on with their studies without studying too much. so they hang out even with out the rest of us.

"Well here you are ms. dilaurentis, safe and sound" emily did a little curtsy while helping me to our stairs.

"You're such a gentleman emily." I said playfully, while grinning.

"im a lady!" emily said while patting my arm with a matching blushing of her cheeks.

I just give her a knowing look. "Whatever you say, take care now." while waving as emily makes her way home still a furious grin in her face. I always make sure that emily gets pass spencer's house before I come in. just to be sure she is safe. Then someone spoke that totally surprises me but of course I controlled my self and let no one see that im surprised.

"You know, I like her."

"What?" I look around to see who said that. Oh its maya. My next door neighbor. My bisexual neighbor.

"She's one of your best friends right? Keep a tight hand on her."

"What?" I asked her again, anger is rising. No one talks to me like this.

"I said I like her. You have a problem with that?" maya said so confidently.

She is also in our year but she is on the dark side. With dark side I mean on punk musician group. Usually they just kept to themselves and don't care about the other students. "What makes you think she may like you?" I ask while laughing at the thought. Come on the girl have fallen head over heels with me. Why would she choose you? Can't you see that?

maya just shrugged then walk away. That maya is so weird.

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**What do you think? i really want to put alison on a diferent light...not just to be a queen bee and mean...and i want a love triangle...**

**Hope you share my enthusiasm!**


	3. Chapter 2

**here is a new chapter...next time i update its gonna be three or more chapters...hope you still like it...**

**Being Jealous 02**

**Emily POV**

im a little tired now and my feet is a little sore but still ali is full of energy and keeps on trying clothes that she would never buy. After three hours of window shopping, ali haven't bought a single dress and if I counted right she already tried one hundred and eleven different clothes.

"Em, come here, look at me" that's ali from the changing room so I poked my head inside and froze at what i saw. ali is half naked with only her underwear and the dress she's trying is somewhere on her butt, stuck. i controlled my self from laughing but I cant. I instantly fell on my knees still laughing and clutching my stomach.

"em! Close the door and help me with this! stop laughing." ali begged but i can tell she also want to laugh with her situation but of course I cant let her stay like that so I stopped laughing and help her get the dress properly. the dress is in metallic blue, spaghetti straps, with beautiful Swarovski on the stomach part and plunging neckline, so its a very sexy dress. ali is grinning too and so am I. after i zipped up the dress and she modeled the dress i burst out with laughs and this time she joins me.

"That was classic! I wish I caught it on video" I said in between my laughs.

"Yeah, but em don't tell the others ok? Its another of our secrets." as she let the dress fall on her heels and once again she is just in underwear. This is one the things im very awkward with ali. She is very confident with her body and she has no problem stripping her clothes whoever is in front of her. As of me even though im a swimmer and suppose to be confident with my body i have zero confidence. I can't change my clothes in front of someone. Well, except with aria. We pretty much can do whatever in front of each other. Were just that relaxed with each other. I mean they are my best friends but aria and me have something and im still looking for it on spencer and hanna. As of ali of course I cant strip in front of her, there's just no way. She is my crush, for god's sake. As i look at the blonde in front of me I didn't notice that ive been looking at her body for so long now. Noticing all her curves but of course I tore my eyes away.

"I will get dress now" ali cleared her throat and I want to smack my head because of my stupidity. Again she noticed my more than supposed to be gaze at her. as I get out of the changing room I let out a big sigh and prayed to all the gods that ali didn't notice anything but as she got out she have her usual smirk that says I-caught-you-again-fields then tugged my hand to exit the store.

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**Alison POV**

I knew it. Emily fields doesn't have a crush on me but she is damn in love with me! Ok not really in love but still I know there is something more than just crush there. The way she looks at my body while I was in my underwear she is almost drooling but I think I like it. I mean I don't mind much. She is emily so I guess ill just keep on teasing her.

"Let's have something to eat. im kinda hungry. You?" as I hold on to emily's arm again. It becomes automatic to me. Not holding any part of emily is kind of incomplete. Hmm I think im sounding weird. At least emily broke me from my thoughts.

"I thought you will never asked." as she touched her stomach. Wondering if she really is hungry then I checked the time and gasp that we have been in here for three hours.

"Wow, time flies fast. I didn't know we are here for already three hours. Where do you want to eat?" if I didn't know any better and I think if someone saw us and didn't know us, that person may think that me and emily are a couple. We are so close with each other but I really don't care that much. im enjoying this teasing game with emily.

"I don't know. How about just burger and fries? At least its a light atmosphere and we could talk." she said nervously.

"Why are you nervous ems?" but I think I know why. It's because we are so close to each other now that we are almost hugging here in the middle of the mall. Well mostly im hugging her. I didn't notice but my hand crawls in to her waist and stays on her other side.

"Oops, sorry. You ok now?" i laugh out loud to cover for the awkwardness of the situation. But emily just shrugged and looks confused. Although she quickly hides it by rushing of to her favorite store. And yes it's a swimming store.

"You know I don't get why you always go here but doesn't buys anything or even tried anything." following her lead to just forget about what happened. Frankly whatever our position a while back it's seem so natural. It doesn't feel like anything it's not supposed to be. Ah im thinking too much of this.

"I just love looking. I get contented just by looking see. Not like you guys." smiling and relaxing a little. Good, emily always gets me when she is in a joking mood. So we just resume in looking, laughing at the swimsuits she can wear but also curses me if i tried it on her and basically just goofing of. In the end I end up buying her a new light blue goggles. I said this will make her think of me because it's the color of my eyes. With that we leave the store and head to a fast food joint to calm our stomachs. Of course my hand is with her.

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**Emily POV**

ok call me stupid but I think alison is flirting with me. Its either she's flirting or it's natural to her to wrap her arm around me. We look like a couple out there! And that's saying something because i can't stop my body from all the electric it keeps on producing from alison's touches. One more thing alison is not the clingy type. Ok, im really confuse here. But still I have to play it cool. If ali didn't talk about it, i have no right to talk about it. And what's up with the goggles! Buying me a light blue one. As if im not thinking enough of her pretty eyes. This is beyond torture but who am I to complain. So here we are talking lightly again over our food. Oh I remember I need to ask something.

"Hey, something out of the topic, can I ask you?"

"What is it ems?" while she tilted her head to catch the catsup that's dripping in her fries.

"What's the name of your next door neighbor?"

"Who spencer?" oh come on ali. Focus on me.

"Why would I ask her name to you? No. the other neighbor. The musician mysterious one." ali stopped immediately eating her fries and looks at me directly. Giving me one of her scrutinizing looks that makes me feel she is reading my whole head.

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**Alison POV**

why the hell does emily have those sparkle in her eyes? Is she having a crush on maya? I mean I know the girl is confused but I know it's just for me. It's supposed to be for no one else. Right?

"maya? Why are you asking about her?" come on emily fields answer me.

"It's just that this past few days or maybe weeks I didn't really notice but I know it's for some time now."

"Spit it out fields." I said with zero patience.

"Its just I noticed she keeps on eyeing me from afar. I keep on seeing her and she just keeps on winking at me then she walks away but last time she talked to me. I promise ali she keeps me worked out. Thinking what is happening." the brunette finished.

I think im like a volcano now but instead of lava that's boiling inside its anger. I think the bitchy alison is coming back and its coming fast on maya st. germaine.

"Where are we when she's doing this to you? I mean basically we have almost the same classes right and she is not there." thinking if im missing something here.

"I have one class that neither the four of your are in, right? History. And she's there with me. She's not paying me any attention before but now she always catches my eyes. Is maya really that weird?" the brunette looks scared and I know from the four of my best friends it looks like hanna is the weakest but she's not. emily is. Even she is a jock, she is a cry baby. And I love that about her.

"Hey killer, don't worry about it ok? I will take care of it. She's just leaving next door right." I winked at her and reassure her. She is the one who usually protects me with this stuff. That's why I give her the nickname killer, my personal pit bull. I don't know why but im feeling protective of my pit bull. No one scares her but me.

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**Emily POV**

after another hour of just walking and talking, and im not sure if flirting, we finally head home. Of course im walking her home. Even though spencer is just living next door, after school sometimes ali will make up lame excuses so that she can stay behind with me and wait for my swimming practice to end so I can walk her home. Its our routine besides its extra time with her so no complains with me. Although im still wondering why she does that. I mean she can just be with spencer and walk together home. Still no complains if im with ali, I have no complain except for explanations why she's being so sweet this past few weeks. I can't help it. I keep on falling for her.

"Here we are. Your safely home." as I help ali to their stairs again. We are so sweet.

"Thanks for the day ems. I really enjoyed it." she smiled sweetly and tucks her hair behind her ear. i cant help this, usually ali doesn't show any feeling except being bitchy but when she's with me all her defenses are on holidays. This makes me like floating and grinning stupidly.

"Stop grinning killer. You sure you can't come inside?" she insists.

"I can't. My mom is waiting for me. I still need to finish my chores which I didn't finish because a certain blonde made me chaperone her for five hours in the mall." I finish and can't help smiling stupidly.

She snorts and rolls her eyes, "as if you didn't like it as much as I do."

What did she said? Did I hear her right?

"Uh..." I can't think of any reply.

"Bye emily. See you Monday." she waved and that means im dismissed and nothing to talk about. She looks a little flustered. Like she's embarrassed. But whatever. I can never figure her out.

"Bye! See you." as I back out on their front lawn and head for home. the smile is plastered on my face again as I walk but it suddenly got stuck because someone is in front of me. maya.

"Hey, mind if I walk with you?" she said with every syllable overflowing with confidence. She is very pretty with her curly hair, petite body and very smooth skin. im a little taller than her but she makes me feel im just somewhere on her shoulders that looks up to her. She made me nervous in a good way.

"Ok. So where are you going?" I asked to keep the atmosphere light. She is walking very close to me and our shoulders and arms keep on bumping with each other that produces different kind of electricity from what ali can produce. Much lighter, much comfortable.

"nothing in particular, just walking to get some air out." while she playfully shoved me and starts giggling so now i cant stop giggling too. We keep on pushing each other and keep the conversation coming lightly. I didn't even notice my phone is ringing and we are almost on our house. i checked my phone and there's a couple of missed calls from ali and about four messages all from ali too. What's going on? But before I can read it maya clears her throat and points my house.

"So thank you for keeping me company. See you in class?" she asks while her eyes are staring directly at me. It makes my heart flutter and I don't know what that means.

"Uh sure. See you and thanks for walking me home." I really am grateful that she accompanies me. So I smile again and she walks. i think im in a daze. My heads feel so lighter with happiness. So all those looking from a far this is what's its all about. She just wants to meet me. I didn't notice my mom is already on front me until she said something that barely registers my mind.

"Sorry mom. What is it?" there is some noise that I can't figure out where it's coming.

"Honey, you're phone, it's ringing. Are you ok?" she eyes me nervously. Oh shit it is and alison is calling again but as im about to answer, it stopped ringing.

"You look like you have a nice afternoon. That's good. But please help me with dinner. Come on now honey."

So I follow her but my mind is still on a vacation mode. it cant function that well. Yes i have good time, no great time with ali but I thought about maya and our walk. That makes me smile more widely. im about to read ali's message but my mom gave me her death glare that means stop whatever im doing and help her. So I just send ali a text saying im ok and already at home and said im helping my mom and call her later. Well I want to read ali's message its just that my mom is giving me her death glare, so I better not push it.

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**comments? by the way thank you for all the readers! because of you i get excited when i open my email to check if someone reviews or something my stories...thank you again!**


	4. Chapter 3

**here is the next chapter...hope you still find this interesting...and as I promise this is a multi chapter update...everyday that is...haha hope you enjoy!**

**Being Jealous 03**

**Emily POV**

at last the dishes are cleaned and the garbage is already thrown out. My chores are done which means I can finally call ali and read all her messages. As I sat in my bed and being comfortable I cant help but be nervous. All of ali's message are kind of in a loud way. All caps with exclamation marks. She keeps on asking me if im ok but mostly why the hell am I with maya. As I think how could ali know that we are together then I remembered she said to me once that whenever I walk her home she just goes inside if I already passed spencer's house. That explains thing why she is pissed of with me and she caught me walking with maya. Is there something wrong in what I did? We just walked, besides maya is not bad, just a little too emotional and ali didn't like her. That's a much clearer explanation. ali didn't like her that's it. So I just shrugged all the texts and dialed ali's number that I know from the heart. After two rings she picked up.

"Why the hell did you walk with her?" what a welcome but that's ali, always straight forward.

"Hello too, but I didn't mean to walk with her, she just happens to be there and asked me if she could accompany me." that's it.

"You are so nice emily. What if maya has something bad planned for you? Don't you walk home with strangers again? Ok?" why is ali being angry like this. Oh this is her normal state. But I can't help to feel flattered because of the concern she keeps on revealing to me.

"Don't worry next time I saw her and before I talk to her I will ask you first if it's alright. Deal? Don't get pissed." I said as I smile. We are talking like a couple! I thought this just could happen in my dream but here it is in full reality.

"Be sure to do that emily." as I hear her answer I know she is smiling too.

Then someone interrupted us and shouts, "emily stop talking to the phone its your curfew already." I forgot. It's my mom and her stupid rules.

"Sorry ali, need to go its past my curfew. You know my mom. See you on Monday?" disappointed that I have to stop talking to her. It's a very good feeling to hear her voice with that level of emotion. I bet the others haven't got to hear her voice like this. So happy.

"Ugh, your mom is such a kill joy. Hey remember our deal. Bye killer. See you." then she hangs up leaving me thinking all that just happened.

If im going to be honest with my thoughts and see it from another's point of view I can say that ali is jealous. I don't know why but she is jealous. Then I laugh out loud because it's so impossible for her to feel that way for me. Bummer.

* * *

**Alison POV**

im scared. Why the hell is my reaction like that? I mean I know im a bitch but I think I felt too much than what was necessary in the situation. I mean if I think rationally there really is nothing wrong of what emily did. I have no reason to hate maya, just because she said she like emily doesn't give me a right to hate her. Ok im done thinking rationally so I will think the alison way. I hate maya because she is with emily and I know emily enjoyed it. I hate her also because she makes emily happy. Ok, I did the right thing. I hate maya. so my next move will be to talk to maya and make her leave emily alone. emily dont know what's right for her. maya is a bad influence for her. With that I sleep comfortably.

When I woke up this morning my brain has a fully formed plan on how to get rid of maya. I just don't know how to do it. After doing all my morning rituals and eat breakfast I step outside and think what am I going to do for the whole day. Hmm maybe I can just call my field hockey friends. They are much older and they have cars but before I can have concrete idea someone spoke and I think I have an idea who it is. My good mood starts to disappear and bitchy alison is here.

"You waiting for someone?" maya called to her from their yard.

"Yeah, im waiting for aria hanna and spencer." smirking because I know she is waiting for emily.

Maya raised one eyebrow and said, "No emily?"

"No. so you can clear now." I said with every hint of annoyance.

"Ill just keep on waiting then." as she answered me she turns her back and goes back inside their house. Good, she's gone. Does maya really have a crush on emily? I mean I know emily is really beautiful and a lot of boys have crushes on her so maybe girls like her too. Hey, emily have a tendency to be gay so does this mean she can have a crush on maya too? No! I can't let that! It's nothing with me if emily is gay but if she really is going to fall for a girl too that cant be maya. i have to stop this. I have to protect her. Wait, emily really likes me. So I know she will not fall in love with others. But just in case, I will still get maya out of the picture. emily is just mine and for no one else. With that I turn and goes back inside and will call my field hockey friends to hang out.

* * *

**Emily POV**

"emily! Aria is on the phone for you." that's my mom calling me from my room. As I head to the kitchen to answer the phone my mom warns me that I can't be late home. 2 hours outside tops. "Ok mom, I will be back here early." I sigh, my mom is really strict. It's really hard to breathe here.

"Hello aria. What's up?

"Nothing, can you still come over? Will your mom still let you?" I giggled with that.

"Yeah, sure. She already knows. Ill be there in ten."

"Ok. See you. And hurry. bye." with that she hang up.

Hmm what's up with that? I just shout my goodbye with my mother then I left.

We always do this every Sunday. Me and aria have this kind of understanding that every Sunday it's our special hang out time. It's either here on our house or theirs. But usually it's theirs. It's much comfortable there anyways. It's our time to catch up with our daily lives because even though we are always together its still different if it's just the two of us. Just like with me and ali. It's just weird because she asked me to hurry up. That means she have a problem. so i quicken my pace and within minutes im on their porch already. She is already sitting on our usual place. She just smiled at me and motion for me to sit next to her.

"Hey A! Everything ok?" we also call each other A and E. it's our special names for each other.

aria just shrugged and let out an loud sigh.

"You can tell me A. is it your brother again?" they usually fight of with silly things but it still bother aria. She is still the big sister.

"It's about my father. He is not here for dinner. again." aria finally answered and leans her head into mine. This is our usual position. She just leans into me and continue with our conversation the whole time. if our talk is finish that's the time she will remove her head into me. So this means our real talk is starting.

"Again? Why? Is he here yesterday?"

"No. he got home late too. And somewhat drunk. My mother didn't notice anything and just swallows all my fathers' excuses. But im really bothered now E. I think something's not right." we both have this idea that her father has a mistress but still contemplating if our suspicions our right. But for now I think there is a big chance that we are right.

"We still don't have any proof. Don't worry ok? Maybe your father has some emergency whatever in his school. Don't think about too much. Ok A?" while patting her back in a reassuring way.

"I just don't know what to do if we are right."

"if you think about too much it will really happen so don't think about it. Ok? Your father loves your mother very much."

"I really hope your right." as she let out a sigh again. "So how's your shopping with ali?" getting to her usual cheery self again.

"It was so fun! We just keep on laughing and ali practically tried every dress in the mall imaginable." I said with a smile remembering our little secret.

"That's what I thought. I know she just wants to be with you again." I can feel aria is on to something and usually this is not good. its one of our most sensitive topics.

"What do you mean?"

"E, I know you have a crush on her and I know it's not just ordinary. Right?" I nodded. We already talked about this for some time now. So she continued, "Just be careful ok? I don't want you to get hurt. We all know ali is straight."

"So straight." I chuckled. "Don't worry I know. But you know ali is kind of acting really weird yesterday." then i told her everything that had happened between us in the mall. From the hug, the protectiveness, maya and our call. She just listens and when I finished I think she is thinking really hard of what to say first.

"maya? Her musician neighbor? She walked you home?" I nodded. "That was weird but I think maya liked you."

"You think?" that's also my idea.

"Yes. But we have nothing to do about it. I mean we can't stop her from having a crush on you and let's face it E, it's not hard to think of reasons why she will like you. Your beautiful, athlete and very sweet." I blushed but aria just continued.

"I really don't care who you will date ok? So I will not say anything about her. You know I accept you whoever you are right?" I just hugged aria and I know she is right. im still not sure if im gay but the evidence are here and aria knows about it so im kind of alright about it. Beside I don't have to think about it for now.

"How about ali's behavior?"

"For that I have no idea." which means she have tons of ideas but she is too shy to admit it or it's totally outrageous.

It's my time to let out a sigh. "It's ok E, just don't worry about it too. Maybe ali just don't like that maya girl. Maybe she knows something that we don't. So she don't want you to be friends with her." as she finished she straighten herself out meaning our talk is done. With that I stand up and start to say goodbye.

"Thank you for listening again emily. I always look forward to our next meeting." she smiled sweetly to me.

"I am too. It's our alone time and I guess im just happy that even though we are in a group now, we get to keep our own stuff to ourselves. Just the way it is." I smiled too. Then aria reached for a hug and said her goodbye.

As I said goodbye too and starts to walk home, aria called me again, "E, did ali bought you something?"

"Yes, a light blue goggles. She bought it so I will always think about her. Well, that's what she said. Why?"

"Nothing. She always likes to do that to you, right?" she asked again while crossing her arms in front of her.

"Yes. She always does that. Well bye again! See you tomorrow!"

"Bye!" with that I start to make my way home.

* * *

**Aria Pov**

as I watch emily disappear through the road I thought about what she said about ali. There is something going on with her. im just afraid to voice out loud to her but she is becoming extremely sweet to emily. If what emily told me is all true, which I believe everything, ali looks like she is flirting with her. Not just flirting but looks like ali have something going on with emily. I keep noticing last Friday that she keeps emily to herself and not letting her hand go. That is unusual for ali.

Especially with the goggles. I just really hope that whatever ali is having with emily, she will not end up hurting her. Because I don't want anyone to hurt emily. I don't care if ali will start to hate us and leave out on her group. I just don't want my best friend to get hurt.

* * *

**well that's it...aria is the only other person here that will have her own POV...next chapter maya will make her move!**

**thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 4

**big chapter for maya...hope you like it...**

**Being Jealous 04**

**Emily POV**

Ugh, its time already for school? My alarm is already at full blast and as I force my self to turn off the alarm I noticed that the sound is not from my alarm, my phone is ringing. Reaching for it instead, smile instantly spread on my face. alison is calling.

"hello." I answered. My voice is still crackly.

"Morning emily! Had a good nights sleep?" ali's voice is cheerful even though its so early.

"Not so bad, you beat my alarm. You?"

"I didn't sleep that well. So I woke up early and I decided to call you. So anyways, can we walk to school together?" I can feel ali is smiling too.

"Why? Everything good? Yeah, ok ill go there." wow, she just woke up and the first person she thought about is me. This morning is so good.

"Good. Be early ok? Ill wait for you on the porch. Bye em!"

"Bye ali. See you."

"Uh...I miss..." ali spoke again. What? She stopped in the middle of her sentence.

"What ali?" I questioned her.

"Nothing. Take care em. Bye again!" with that she hang up. What's up with that? it looks like she is about to say something more but decided against it. ali is really weird this past few days. But at least this is a very good start for a morning. a walk with ali. so even though its still early I stood up and get ready for school. I may look stupid because of my smile but I don't care. ali always makes me smile. As I kissed my mom goodbye, she said something, "You look in a great mood. thats good. Take care honey!"

"I am mom, bye!" as I close the door and make my way to ali's house.

Going to ali will make my walk to school much farther and I will cross the street of aria where we usually meet coincidentally and walk together. And sure enough, aria is there waiting for me but I waved and shouts, "im going to ali's she asked me to walk her to school."

"Oh ok." is the only reply of aria and giving me a reproachful look, saying don't-forget-what-we-talked-about. Then she waved. I also wave and head to ali again. I haven't forgotten what we talked about and I know aria is right. I have to be careful but I can't help it. ali is giving me reasons to fall in love with her and I have no control over myself to stop it.

* * *

**Alison POV**

good, spencer is already on her way to school on her father's car. I don't want her to join me and emily on our little walk. I don't know what make me ask her this morning but the only reason I can think of is that I miss her. Badly. I didn't get to see her yesterday and the whole day while I hang out with my other friends my mind keeps on straying to her. This is so weird. What's happening to me? I have a suspicion but I have no intention of voicing it out loud. This is not happening. But then a smile automatically spreads on my face which means I can see emily coming.

"Hey em," hey who is that? Oh great maya is still here.

I just narrowed my eyes and want to see what will emily's be reaction. We have a deal. In response she looked at me and hurriedly goes to my side and said hi. Good. This is much better. I just gave her a look which says I will handle her. at least she understands so she just smiled to maya and I took the lead.

"Let's go em. We will be late. What do you want maya?" I asked her because she is walking beside us. Come on! Leave us alone.

"Mind if I walk with you guys? We all go to the same direction right, em?" as she said her gaze transferred to emily. She looks hopeful. Fat chance maya! emily will not answer you. She is with me.

"Uh," she gave me another look that's looks like she is asking permission if she can answer. I just give in. if I didn't I will look like a jealous psychopath and I am certainly not jealous. I can't help it, emily looks extra happy when she saw maya.

"Uh, sure. Why not? Right ali?" what? Is that what she answered? Ok that is not what I expected. im just boiling with anger.

"No. it's not alright for me. We have somewhere to go to. Clear off now maya." I answered with annoyance put in every word I spoke. With that maya cleared off. Good. With that I turn my gaze to the brunette and gave her an annoyed look.

"Why did you say yes? I asked you first then your just gonna ask some random person to come join us?" I unleashed my annoyance with her. She just stares at me and looks very scared.

"What? No, I didn't want anyone to joins us. Its just she asked and I think it's rude to say no. that's it really." she finished lamely.

"You really are so soft emily." im still not finished with her. im still angry with her so I didn't hold her arm while we are walking. This walk is supposed to make me happy but instead it just turns my morning into a horrible start.

"ali, wait up. im sorry I said yes." emily apologizes. She can't stand me being angry with her. I smirked and turns around and captures her arm. Now that's better. My body starts to relax as I felt emily's arm.

"You're still not off the hook, fields."

"Oh come on ali, im just being nice. What did maya do to you and you ended up hating her?"

She said she likes you, is the answer that immediately pops to my head but of course I cant tell her that.

"I just don't want you to talk to her, ok? She is too mysterious." I finished lamely. Mysterious? Come on. My mind can't think of any abusive terms. What's wrong with me?

"Ok. If that's what you really want. But can I talk to her in my class? I mean I can't just ignore her just like what I did a while ago." she insists.

"You can talk to her but be sure to tell me every thing you talked about ok? And you're not allowed to hang out with her or seat beside her." am I being too possessive? "Don't tell the others about this. It's just between the two of us. Ok?" I added.

"Wow, are you my pit bull now?" she laughs.

"Yes." I answered shortly.

"thanks." she said shyly. Wow, I really am too protective. But somehow it feels right. emily is mine. With that we reach the school and I removed my hand on her arm. As I look at emily her face fell a little sadly. It looks like it's not only me who is feeling comfortable with the connection we have.

"Should I go with you to your locker too?" emily asked hopefully but I think I have enough with this. My mind is a little confused now.

"No, im ok. Bye em, see you at lunch." I just waved and with out further notice I turn my back and make my way.

* * *

**Emily POV**

that is typical ali. So hot then the next second she is so cold. Good thing my morning classes are only with the three. I can't handle the roller coaster for now. But god she makes me want to fly. Every time she protects me with maya I can't help but think that we are a couple. I don't care if she is being too possessive of me, that's just what I want. I have no intentions of disobeying her direct orders.

As I head to my next class, aria is already on her seat and motions me to sit next to her.

"How's the walk?" she asked me while looking into my eyes.

Before I get to answer hanna is rushing to my side and looks like she is in a bad mood. Instead of seating down she turns to us and let us feels some of her temper.

"Why does ali is in a bad mood? I though the bitchy alison is somewhat tamed now?" aria and me just stared at her blankly. Although I have an idea how she came to that mood but of course I will not tell her that.

Good thing aria first responded, "Why? What happened?"

"She just embarrassed me to a whole bunch of older guys because of my weight. again." she is almost in tears.

Why does ali need to take her anger out on poor hanna?

"Don't worry han, ali will get better. Maybe something really bad happened." still aria is the one responding to her. Good thing because I don't think I have enough confidence to lie now.

"No, its ok. You know im used to this side of ali. I wonder how will spencer handle bitchy alison now." smirking and finally sitting down in front me, just in time for our teacher to start his class. As the teacher starts our lectures my mind goes to spencer and ali. Maybe they are bickering now. that's what usually happens when they are stuck together and one is in a bad mood. I can't help but giggle a little. I looked at aria and she is also smiling. I guess we are thinking the same thing.

My morning classes pass by quickly and didn't notice it's already lunch. My last class is with only hanna and I was informed by spencer before this that ali's anger is still not abated. So hanna cornered me and looks like we have a serious talk.

"You have to soften up ali again. Remove her anger. You're the only one who can do that." hanna pleaded. It's really ugly to have lunch when bitchy alison is there.

"Why me? I have no idea how come when she's in that mood im always the one who you call." I replied dramatically, although I have an idea why. Usually when she is in a bad mood I just start to make a joke or talk to her a little bit and suddenly she is ok again. This only happens when it's just the two of us mind you. This specially works when she will hold my hand or when were close.

"Because you're the one who always does that! Please?"

"Ok. Ill try." oh great. How can I make her feel better if im the reason she is like that.

Hanna tugged my hand and led me to lunch but suddenly stops in front of the cafeteria and left me saying she needs to go to her locker and forgot something. Great.

As I enter I saw ali already sitting on our chair and she saw me. Will she wave back? Cause im waving to her. im really a dork.

I sighed. She waved, good thing. As I head to the food line she gestures something on her food. Oh I get it, she brought me food. Again. Just for me. Without the three. Again. This is getting insane. How can I not fall for that?

* * *

**Alison POV**

I can't control it, the smile is creeping into my face again. As emily approaches I checked for the sign of the other girls. I know they make emily come here first to let her do her magic and calm me down. I don't disagree because it always works. I hate my self when it works. Ugh.

"Why are you in a bad mood? You were fine this morning? Is it something I said?" she started already. With those beautiful eyes and very concern face, I really can't control it. I reached for her hands then it did the trick. I am calming down. I let out a loud sigh.

"im ok now. Don't worry." I smiled and looked up to those eyes. What's happening with me?

"What happened ali?" her voice is very concern. Come on emily! Stop this.

What happened? Well, when I left you at the entrance hall, as I turn the corner I saw maya and she talked to me. She said she really likes you and she wants to try to win you. I ask her why she is talking to me about this. She just asked me because she knows that if im ok with it, you will be too. She said, she respects my position that I held with you guys. I didn't want you to have a chance with her but if I tell her that she will know I have something going on with you. And I still can't manage that, so I said yes. She knows your gay and I know too. She is very happy and walks off. Leaving me very pissed because of what im feeling about you. I think I...

then emily interrupted my thoughts.

"Hey ali! You with me? What happened?" I snapped out of my mind. Composed my self and bring out the confident alison.

"It's just because of the walk. But don't worry. im ok now." I smiled and removed my hand. Instantly my hand protested and still wants to feel emily's hands. This is getting out of control. I have to control it. I need distraction. I need a boy. Badly.

* * *

**Emily POV**

that was nice. I get her to get calm down again. My heart is just now relaxing from all the things ali did to my hands. She kind of massaged it, like she is trying to tell me something. Good thing I spot the three of them and waved, saying that she is ok now.

"You did it again." aria whispered to me and seating beside me. hanna and spencer just pats me on the back and seat on the other side of ali.

We did our lunch on our normal way, laughing, giggling and talking nonsense. ali is back to her old self now. She is cheery again. My stomach is kind of jumping up and down when she stares at me and smiles. I really can't help it.

Aria just looks at me very briefly when ali starts handing my food from her own paper bag which means i got special treatment. Again.

As we finish our lunch and said our goodbyes we all head to our next class, aria, hanna and spencer are in a same class and me and ali are on the same. So we get there together. Still talking lightly. She didn't hold my hand though. im really getting used to it. The warm feeling her hand brings to my body is easy to get used to.

The class passes by quickly and ali is just in her usual class behavior. Not listening, doodling on her notebook but always get a high score. How can she do that? I wonder.

We said goodbye as we finished and I head to my next class with spencer. I thought all the drama is done but im wrong. maya is in front of me.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?" she said very shyly. Where's the confidence?

"Uh..." ali said I can only talk to her in class. is this on our deal? I should have asked about this kind of situation too. What am I gonna do?

"Don't worry, I asked ali for permission if I can talk to you. And much more." she added. Permission? Ok. What's going on? But I just nodded and follow her.

"I know ali is not fond of me but I ask her permission if we can hang out. Just the two of us. And she said yes. Will you agree?" her eyes are very beautiful. Those chocolate black eyes that show her every emotion and I can tell she is serious. Did I mention maya is very sexy? And has a very nice body? Ok I should stop now.

"Are you asking me on a date or something?" I want to clear this up. Am I really gonna go on a date with a girl? Am I ready for this?

"No, don't worry. Just hang out. Maybe to the library and finish some lame history assignment or something." she finished lamely. She is so cute. The way she twists her hands because she is nervous and she bits her lips and makes her face into saying please say yes.

"You good at math?" I mean its just hang out right? No big. Beside I want to know who maya is. I want to unravel her mysterious side.

"Uh yes. Why?" she said in a hesitant way and looks at me again with those black eyes questioning me.

"I suck at math. You can help me there." I smiled and at last maya relaxed and said it's a deal. She walked me to my next class and leaves me in a daze. Good thing I got here before spencer. This way I can fix myself. Too late she's here and my stupid grin is still in my face.

"You look happy. Anything interesting happen? She questions me as she sits in front of me.

"Nothing. Just normal stuff." at least she can't see my smile. This day is so weird.

"Good job with ali. I don't know how you do it but im getting fed up with bitchy alison. Being in two classes with her." she laughs and turns to look at me.

"I don't know what I did. How was taming her?" now I can smile without looking a fool.

"We argued of course. But nothing personal so its ok." with that she winks and face front again because the class is about to start. Yeah, that's my ali. And I love her for that.

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**what do you think? please review! and thanks for reading it again...**


	6. Chapter 5

**thank you for all the great reviews you gave me! really appreciates it...hope i got it much clearer this time...anyways...enjoy!**

**Being Jealous 05**

**Emily POV**

the last bell had finally rung which means the end of school at last. I reached my locker and fixed my things then head to ali's locker. We have kind of understanding that in every day of the week we will all meet up in each respective locker. Monday is on ali's, Tuesday on spencer, Wednesday on hanna, Thursday on aria and finally mine is on Friday. That is according to ali on how she got curious to each one of us. So here I am making my way to her locker.

"No way ali! How old is he?" that's hanna's voice. What's going on?

"He's sixteen. He just texted me if it's ok for him to pick me up here in the school and I said yes." Ali replied to hanna. Does ali have a date?

"Hey what's going on?" I said as I reach them. Looks like im the last one to reach here even though hanna is with me on the last class.

"ali has a date on a sixteen year old." spencer answered me. Oh. When I look at ali she looks smug that she has a date with an older boy. It's always their competition on whoever can date the oldest and coolest boys. Usually its just spencer and ali who is competing. hanna is too concious on her body and aria doesn't care and same goes for me. Although I have much less interest on boys than them. Beside the two are always competing so it's kind of weird if they didn't compete in this kind of game.

"You have a problem with that em?" ali said while looking straight at me. Oh great. She decided to tease me again. I thought everything is ok between us. I guess not because she decides to have a date.

I arrange my face to look everything is fine. I hope it is enough for hanna and spencer because I know whatever I do ali can see me through and as well as aria. "Of course! Why wouldn't it be? But do you really know that guy to go on a date on him? I mean what if ..."

"easy there killer, were just gonna grab a snack. No big ok?" good thing ali interrupted me. im beginning to start and act like a pit bull again. I can't help it, I want to protect her. How pathetic I may look like.

As they continue to talk about the date ali will be having, I start to zone out and think about her. ali is also looking at me. Checking what is my reaction to everything they are talking about.

I am so stupid to think that maybe ali is changing her mind to me. As I try to be angry with her, I can't. I know it's not her fault that she is just like that to me. It's my fault that I misinterpreted all her actions and fools my self to believe that just maybe, I have a small chance. To my addition of annoyance the group is starting to move but im still stuck staring to nowhere and its ali who hold me and steer me.

"Don't act too jealous. Bye em. Good luck at practice." with a last squeeze at my hand ali left. Leaving my heart do a little of a jump and melting at the same time. I don't know if that's even possible. They just all said their goodbye and good luck for my swim practice. aria gave me an additional knowing look. It means it's alright; she'll just there if I needed to talk. A little swimming maybe can clear up my mind. Then I make my way to the swimming pool.

* * *

**Maya POV**

its 6:15 already. I think this is my hundredth time to check my watch and the girl's locker room to see if any drop dead gorgeous brunette, long legs, pointed nose and very sexy lips is walking out. Still no sign of her. I watched her swimming practice in shadows because I know she will be distracted if she saw me there. She is so graceful at the water. Looks like she has a fins and flippers instead of human hands and feet. a perfect and beautiful mermaid. Ok maya, stop dreaming about her again. You already got your permission so it's my time now to get into action

I just ask alison for her permission because of two reason. To gain her respect and to know if ali have something on emily, because whatever her decision is, im still gonna pursue emily. Gauging from her reaction I think I gain a small amount of respect and now I know she have something going on with emily. I kind of good at sensing those kinds of things and however good ali maybe on hiding, I can still see through her defenses. She is just not yet ready to admit it. Which for me is the stupidest thing ali did. But that is good news for me because I know emily has a big crush on her and if ever alison opens up to emily its my doom because I know its no use. You will be a fool if you don't fall for emily fields. She is just too perfect and will be wasted if she just stays on the arm of alison and be confused all her lives. So here I am saving my princess.

I instantly like emily from the first time I saw her on alison's yard but im just too shy to pluck up the courage and be friends with her. Main reason? alison dilaurentis. She is the most popular girl and best friend of emily. Secretly hated by girls and openly admired by the boys. After almost three years I get to have a class with Emily without the other girls. Can you believe that? I figured if I get to know her then maybe I can have a chance. And im pretty sure emily is not straight. I can just tell being one as myself so I can tell the difference. Even how sexy a girl may dress. I still can tell.

6:22 a long legged girl starts to make her way out of the locker and she looks very out of herself. Not unlike on the water. she is very confident on the pool but when she comes out, its like all her confidence are also washes out and stays in the pool. She didn't even notice me sitting here on the cold hard floor, looking like a fool. Which I don't mind and I think the whole school is already at ease with my personality. I ran to catch up with her because with her long legs and fast pace I can't keep up with my short ones. Yes I am just average sized.

"Hey em! Wait up!" I try to get her attention. Good she stops and turns around to face me. Oh god, she is immaculate with what she is wearing. Almost everyday she is in a mini skirt and comfortable blouse but still it doesn't stop me to look at greedily at her body and legs.

"Oh maya, sorry I didn't notice you." Emily said while she touches my hand in an apologetic way and tucks a strand of her wet hair behind her ears. She is god damn cute. For a second I can't find my voice because aside from her action her hand is still not leaving my hand so additional electric currents are coursing through my body. She finally cleared her throat which snaps me back to reality.

"Uh are you ok? You seem a little off. You are ok this afternoon when I talked to you. Right?" at least I conversed with whole sentences. I may look confident but believe me, my face is a good liar it's usually the opposite of what im feeling inside.

"Yeah, im ok. Just got a lot of things in my mind." she smiled and finally removes her grasp. Maybe because I look at it consciously. Bad move maya.

"Oh, do you still have time to get a snack or something? It may help you relax or something." nice, just be cool.

"Uh sure. You know any good place?" she smiled again and walked beside me as we make our way out the school.

I just nodded and lead the way.

"I know a small cafe not far from our street so is it ok to be there?" I asked again.

"Sure. It's nice to know a new place." She replied and with that we make our way and talk a little while we walk. Just to ease the tension.

It's so easy to talk to her and I can foresee that our little quirks and imperfections can fit together perfectly. Although that's a long shot, I still don't mind.

After one hour in the cafe I think I have an idea on who emily fields is. She is passionate and don't really care about winning. Just doing her best is ok. Wants to be an Olympian in her dreams. Have a very strict military parent. Only child and she is practically perfect. In my own definition of perfect that is. of course I let her know something about me too. im also passionate about my music. its my way of letting out all of my problems and worries. Although im not good at writing lyrics im good at composing. Its my dream to live a rock and roll life with tons of platinum selling cds and world wide tour. Best of our conversation is, she is also very interested on music, and it's just that she doesn't have any talent so I offer up my services. The girl practically hugged me with excitement and glee that I will teach her to play one instrument. Its extra time with her so why will I complain? Even though im a crap at teaching someone. im kind of easy to be irritated at. But I think if emily will keep on smiling at me, the grin on my face and good mood will not go away.

I feel kind of sad as we got near her home. Yes, she said I could walk her home. yay! Its such a perfect afternoon and I get to spend it with the perfect girl. I hope there's next time. So here goes.

"Uh do you think we can do this again sometime?" I chance a look at her and my heart jumps a mile because she is blushing and smiling.

"Sure, just give me a heads up." She said as her smile gives me goose bumps. Maybe I stared at her smile for an eternity or something because I can do that. I never felt happy like this. It looks like there is something between the two us. Shit, I want to kiss her. As I look at her she is also looking from my eyes to my lips. Is she thinking on the same lines as mine? I hope so. but then she leans in and decided to just give me a cheek to cheek but I thought were gonna kiss so we both kind of miss the target and I kissed her on her cheeks that's a bit too close on her lips.

I pull out instantly and grin shyly. She also just shrugged about it and gives me one last smile then walked inside her house.

It's my best almost kiss experience, beats all my kisses by a light year.

* * *

**Emily POV**

ok. I have to figure this out. What the hell happened? She is just asking me out and then I got sort of trapped into her gaze. I mean those black eyes kept me drowning. And why the hell does she have a lips that is so kissable? Isn't supposed to be that only boys can see that on girls? Just to make it official, I still haven't been kissed by a girl alright? Whatever happened there is just between her lips and my cheeks. That's it. Just to be clear and make myself believe im not gay and I don't like kissing girls. Oh right. im not that straight. Shit. I think im getting deeper here. Deeper than what I assume at.

I thought maya just wants to be friends with me but seeing her reaction a while ago, looks like not. if im gonna be honest to myself I don't too. Oh shit shit. im falling into two very different person. One is a bitch but deep inside very sweet. Another is openly sweet and very confident with herself. I think I have clear winner but maya is just too perfect. Not unlike ali that is full of imperfections inside that she needs someone to keep it in check. oh great, even in my mind im still protecting her.

I think im too much thinking over this. I only get to know maya with just a couple of days versus ali who I know for three years now. But still ali just shows me her affection this past few months. I just can't stop protecting her. I am that pathetic. argh!

Can ali be jealous? is she trying to make me jealous on purpose or is she hiding something that's why she wants to get on a date with a guy someone?

im really desperate on ali. So much. If I believe this crap im just gonna find myself hurt again. But its just a little hurt, the prize is very worth it. I hope so.

* * *

**i think there are more emily-maya fans here than emily-alison...just a heads up...its gonna be a bumpy ride for emily and maya...but please still stick around...**

**its gonna be worth it...i hope so...haha**

**thank you for reading and please review! so i can improve it any way...**


	7. Chapter 6

**Being Jealous 06**

**Emily POV**

finally Friday is done. I am now heading to my locker and I know I will be the last one to reach there again. There is some sort of distraction that I need to attend to. Sure enough they are all there. Oh, ali is still not there. Why?

"Hey guys, where is ali?" as they make way for me to get access to my locker.

"You didn't know?" aria responded to me first.

I just shrugged and continue fixing my things looking like im not that interested but deep inside im dying to know where she is.

"Well, she is going out again with another older boy." spencer said it with bitterness. "She texted us. Didn't you receive anything?" she continued.

"Nope, there is no text." disappointment is washing all over my body. You see, I haven't seen or well talk properly to ali since our Monday walk. We saw each other during lunch and our daily meeting on our lockers but that's it. No special conversation even when we share classes. Just normal talk. The only thing she kept is my food every lunch. There is something from her that still makes me fall for her even though we really are not that talking. Although I have no idea why we came to have this kind of setup.

"Well its ok. She also said that we will meet up tomorrow in the park at around four." spencer continues to inform me.

"yeah and I think we will gonna be having a sleepover" hanna piped in.

"How come you know that?" aria questions her.

"Well its look like that's what she is implying to me on our last class." hanna answered while thinking hard and making sure what ali just said to her.

"Which house?" aria asks again.

"I don't know. That I have no idea." Hanna answered while she shook her head.

"Anyways that's for tomorrow. Well I got to go I have somewhere to go to." as spencer turns to leave. We really don't hang out much if ali is not around. It feels like there is something missing and besides to be true, I really don't know much about spencer and hanna. We just hang out because of ali. And now there is no ali, we don't stay together. That simple.

Hanna said her goodbye too and now aria and me are the only ones left. Aria is looking at me with concern face. I think I know what she will say so I head her off.

"Aria, its ok. im not that thinking about it." come on, buy that lie! I said with all the confident I can muster.

"Nice try em, try again." Aria replied to me while crossing her arms across her chest. Oh great, might as well.

"I miss her." that's it.

"I know. You haven't talk to her properly again right?" aria questions me. I just shook my head then she nods. She will now tackle the other problem.

"How are going things with maya?"

"uhm its good. She really is nice person and very nice to be with. Complete opposite with ali." why did I include the last part?

"Why?"

"Because when I hang out with maya, what I see is what I get. No surprises, no guesses of what her actions means. She is presenting to me face forward. Not unlike with ali. You know how it is with her. You really can't be sure why is she doing something for you." I let out a sigh. It's nice to let it all out. ive been thinking about this for the last few days. Well ever since maya and I hang out on Monday. Well to be honest, with ali going on a date everyday, maya is a good distraction.

"What are her actions to you?" aria continues to investigate me.

"Do we really need to do this right now?" I pleaded. im not in the mood for explaining my self. im still angry at ali because she forgot to include me on the text.

"No, don't worry. See you on Sunday?" aria finally stops questioning me.

"Definitely. I need that. Yours or mine?" I ask as I close my lockers.

"Mine I think. It's much safer to stay away from your mom. Right?" aria said in a matter of fact sense. Oh yes she is right.

"Your house then, see you! Take care aria!" I said and she is off leaving me alone. Or I thought im alone because someone is waving at me on the end of the hallway. maya.

* * *

**Maya POV**

my stomach have butterflies. Again. And it's because im in front of the girl I like. emily of course. I smile and motion for her to come.

As she walks to me, I can't help but use the time to stare at her and notice everything about her. How her hair bounces off on her shoulders perfectly and how perfectly toned are her legs. At last she reached me and my smile is nowhere from vanishing.

"Stop staring." emily said with a smile. I said sorry and try to keep my face straight. It's no use. A grin is making its way again. This is an arrange meeting. Emily doesn't have any swim practice so I suggested we can start her extra music lessons to me. At our house. And she agrees. Now you know why I keep on smiling and my heart can't stop jumping for joy.

"You ready to learn something?" I ask her as we step out on the grounds.

"im nervous but excited. Don't get too strict ok?" she said as she brushes some of her hair in her face. Something is off with her today. Even though she is smiling, it doesn't fully reach her eyes.

"You ok?" I ask.

"Huh? Yes. Just nervous." Emily said in a hurry. Now I know something is not right. Hanging out with her these past four days, yes we are hanging out every day after she finishes her practice and im always there dutifully waiting for her to finish. I can pretty much say she is also enjoying her self. In the downside there are no almost kiss experience. Just holding hands but for now that's enough to melt all my insides so no complains. So I somehow have an idea what are her moods and expressions.

"Try again. I know something is bothering you." I think I know who, so I added, "or more likely someone." I finished.

"I don't want to talk about it ok? im sorry." As Emily said this she literally stares to nowhere but me. Oh shit. I hope I didn't piss her for asking too much. im just concern ok?

"Sorry." I mumbled. In return she smiled and nudges me with her shoulder and starts giggling. Thank god she is not. So I guess I just have to make her happy then.

Well basically after three hours in our house we are now cleaning the mess we made from eating and goofing off. She learns something from me, I think. Well at least she learns two notes in the guitar. That's a giant leap according to her but if im honest to myself, I didn't enjoy that much. Why? Because she is out of it. I know my flirting skills were not that great but before now she somehow responded. But now, nothing. She really is like a zombie that just does what I said. She lets out a laugh when she knows I am noticing something but it's not enough to cover for the awkwardness. This will not stop me to know what happened to her. This night is supposed to be one step closer and not a disaster. What the hell did ali do to make emily like this?

"maya, thank you for being so patient to me." she said so while looking at the plates she's washing. What?

"Let's finish this first, ok? It's not that comfortable to talk while you have soapy hands." I joked and somehow receive a half smile and she just nods. Great, even a half smile from her melts my inside. Another couple of minutes we are done and sitting on the porch.

"im sorry for being so distracted today". She started but I know she will just continue without me prodding her. And im right.

"im just too occupied. But I still had a lot of fun with you. It's a nice change to hang out with you." she continues.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not yet, maybe sometime. But not now. Hope you understand." she smiles to me again. How can I resist that so I just nod my head.

"Can I ask a question?" she nods and looks at me again.

"Are you happy when you're with me?" as I ask, I look at her in the eye.

"Yes." Emily said it while not breaking our eye contact. She is telling the truth. My stomach is kind of having a party now. She is happy with me. She really is.

"maya" Emily started again.

"Yes?"

"Do you like me?" Emily can't be seriously just asked me that. Where did that question come from? I just looked at her stunned at her question. I do like her. More than a friend. I want to kiss her now. Is that what she wants to know? Am I that obvious? So instead I just give her a questioning look so she elaborates more.

"As more than friends. ali told me you're not straight. im sorry if im too blunt here. I just can't take any riddles right now." as she finish, she buried her face in her hands and let out a sigh.

Emily looks exhausted. It looks like she really has something on her mind that is not simple. I have an idea but I know this is not the right time to talk about it. So I just hold her hand and nod, my voice is kind of stuck.

She lets out a sigh again and thanks me for being honest. As she stands, she held out her hand and pulls me to stand too.

"Will you walk me home?" Emily asks me and still not letting go of my hand.

"Of course."

as we make our way to her house, the hand of the brunette stiffens and let go. I know what makes her did it. alison dilaurentis.

* * *

**Alison POV**

it's almost midnight and im still wide awake, there are still tears making its way out silently. Why am I crying? Simple. Her name is emily fields.

Damn her. Damn these feelings! I thought if I just take a break from her and party with some guys, I can bring myself back into my old one. Why the hell did I let her do this to me? Oh shit, it was me. It's because of the teasing. I thought I have control over but I don't. I let things go deeper.

If you want to know why im thinking like these, this is what happens. As im about to enter my house I heard footsteps so I turn my head and see who it is. And I guess that's my mistake. I looked. So I saw emily holding hands with maya. maya walking emily home. Me, trying to forget emily but failing so miserably. Of course I didn't let them see the hurt I felt. I just glared then walk inside. Not bothering to notice my family. I just walk straight to my room. So here I am crying my eyes out to make sense what is happening to me.

ive been trying to distract my self from emily since that walk on monday. I know something is going on with me and her. Something much more than friends. At least she knows and admits to herself but me? im in denial. Until now. There must be some logical explanation why im like this. I can't be falling for her. She's a girl. im straight. I think this is my point that's why im going out with different guys. Did it work? Obviously no.

What am I going to do?

Am I mad at her? No. a little because she didn't made any effort to talk to me. We have a deal that whatever they talked about, she have to tell it to me. But she's always been like this. Always waits for the first move. And that's always me. Never her. Maybe because of the tough act im putting up and I know that's hard to stand up against too. But it have to change soon, she needs to stand up to me if ever something will happen to the both of us. She has to see through my mask. If she saw through it then maybe I will be ready.

I miss her. Whatever I saw, it only intensified the feelings I have for emily. I have to talk to her. So I called her. I know she is still awake. I know we are doing the same thing right now. And she picks up after the third ring. im right.

"Hi" her voice is scratchy. It means she's been crying. Just like me. But of course my voice is never gonna give away. Its sounds the same as ever. Shit I missed her.

"We will talk tomorrow. Ok?" I can't muster any small talk. I know she understands me.

"Thank you. ive been waiting for you to call. that's why im still awake."

"I know. That's why I call. I don't want to keep you waiting. Ill pick you up early." I have to control myself. No emotions.

"Thanks ali, I missed you, you know?" I know she is smiling and I can't help but smile too. I steel myself to say that I missed her too and I want to hear her explanation on what's going in between her and maya but it kind off got stuck.

"I know. Bye em, night." is all I said. What the hell is happening to me? Is this the reason why im drawn to emily from the first time I ever get to look at her properly and realizes I want to know her? Do I like her more than a friend?

* * *

**please review! thank you for reading...**


	8. Chapter 7

**ok...this is a big chapter and hope you will not hate me when you finished this...i really hope...**

**Being Jealous 07**

**Alison POV**

"hi Mrs. fields, is emily here?" That's emily's mom and obviously im here to pick her up for our talk.

"Just go straight in to her room. I think she is almost done." she smiles at me and goes to the kitchen. So I go to her room and not bothering to knock. Well im alison so I don't need to knock. Which is a bad move because emily is in the middle of dressing up. Her pant is not yet zipped and her arms are stretched upward because of her blouse. She froze when she saw me and quickly turns her back to me.

Ok. I know emily is a swimmer and have a toned body but I didn't know her stomach is this toned or sexy as a matter of fact. She usually wears one piece swim suit so I have no idea. As she turns her back and mumbled something I didn't get, I noticed her back is as toned as the other parts of her body. Shit is she this sexy all along or am I just stupid that im over reacting? But no. she really is gorgeous. Very perfect. I snap at my thoughts as she now faces me fully clothed.

"Why didn't you knock?" she asked me seriously.

"im alison so I don't knock."

"oh right." she smiles and continues, "I should have locked the doors."

"It's not like I saw something important. I also have everything you have, you know." am I being defensive? But instead I just rushed to her side and sit beside her and nudge her with my shoulder. Damn this is good. It's nice to feel so close to her again. I notice she smiled too and of course I have my grin too.

"Does this mean im off the hook now?" she asks me playfully and I pretend to think thoughtfully.

"Not yet fields. You have some explaining to do." as I raise my eyebrows to her, I also smile so she knows im not angry anymore. I can't be angry with her if she is this close with me. Ugh! I hate it.

"So where are we going?" she asks me while finishing up tying her shoes.

"To the forest. Are you ready now?" I answered her and as her reply, she jumps on to her feet and held her hand for me to hold on to and something exploded in my stomach. Am I hungry? She looks embarrassed by her actions but I just give her a knowing smile. Then we left her room, said goodbye to her mother and leave the house still holding each others hands.

Once in a while we talk just to cover up the silence but the silence between is comfortable so it's not awkward. The forest is about 20 minutes walk, we are almost there when it happened that makes our silence uncomfortable.

"maya!" emily reacted fast. And sure enough there she is trying to kill me with her stare. Sorry maya, you had your chance this whole week. It's my day to be with her. She is still mine. emily is waiting if I will give her permission to talk to her. So I gave her by squeezing her hand a little. We are still not letting go.

"Hi, what are you doing here?" emily is stuttering. She is nervous.

"Oh nothing, it's nice to walk around. How about you guys?" maya replied to Emily and she is not looking at me. She is just looking at emily. It looks like she is trying to tell something hidden to emily.

"We are going somewhere." I answered her coldly.

"Can I talk to you em? In private? It will take just a second." I knew it. She wants to confirm something. I think it's because of the fact that our hands are still holding each other and we are just alone. On a Saturday morning. Maybe she wants to know from emily where she stands.

"Whatever you say to emily, you can say it in front of me. Right em?" I interrupted before emily can answer. She just nodded and turns back her gaze to maya who shifts uncomfortably but still looks confident. She is standing up against me.

"Ok. Can we hang out again on Monday after class em? I want to bring you somewhere." this time maya stares back at me. Challenging me if I will fight back. Of course I will. im not gonna lose to some musician.

"She can't. Our group has something to do. Ok? So is the rest of the week." I gave her an annoyed look and starts tugging Emily's hands to start walking again but maya interrupted again. She is a little annoying bitch.

"Come on. What do you say?" maya is begging in her eyes. And I can sense emily is giving in. she gave me one last look of permission and I have to give in.

"Ok. Just tell me when." Emily finally answered her and they both smiled in a relieved sort of way. Does emily really wants to hang out with her than with me? I have to know the truth.

"im sorry but we have to go now maya." it was emily. Wow, I thought she doesn't want to leave maya here. I really thought she's going to invite her and joins us, for god's sake. Looks like im still emily's world. She is just a friend, that I let in because im stupid. In return maya just nods and said goodbye to emily, she just nods her head to me then she walks away. She looks like she got the point. im still first in emily's priority. Maybe she is hoping that whatever happened to us is enough for her to replace me in emily's life. Fat chance.

I turn my gaze to the brunette beside me and she is looking at me questioningly.

"Do we really have something to do the whole weekday? Or are your just getting rid of her?" that was brave of her to ask. So I smile and continue our walk. I didn't answer but I don't know why she is asking me that. Is she looking forward for another whole week hanging out with maya?

No one spoke until we reach the shed that we always go to here in the forest. It's the five of us who discovered this place so we now use this shed whenever we have something very important to talk about.

As I take my place and make myself comfortable, I look at emily and tries to asses what im really feeling. I can't deny it. There really is something and its not just best friends. Something much deeper. I shouldn't feel jealousy this strong if we really are just friends'. im not supposed to feel like throttling maya for ruining our walk last Monday. I mean she is just a girl who wants to be friends with emily. Right? Wrong! She wants more than friends and that's where I draw the line. Is this how she also feels with me?

"So," she cleared her throat and sat opposite me.

I want to know everything. I want to know what does she feels towards me. If ever we are sharing the same feelings. The feelings that ive been trying to get rid of by going on a date with a guy. Well call me stupid of you like but that's the only thing I thought of to do. As you see it fails completely. When im holding hands, it doesn't feel right. im thinking about emilys warm hands. There is no funny feeling in my stomach. At first I thought it's just because of the boy so I try another. im bound to find someone I have some sort of connection right? If there is, then maybe this feeling is just a phase. But no, angry explosions bursts through my whole body when I saw emily holding hands with maya. I can't help it but somehow accept the idea. Not completely but at least just for some comfort. I hope this talk can somehow clear up my mind.

"I will ask you. Answer me ok?" I told her and she nods. Then took a deep breathe and start.

* * *

**Emily POV**

"what's going on between the two of you?" is her first question. She is so straight forward.

"Nothing. She said she asked you permission if we can hang out together and you said yes. So after every practice we hang out. She waits for me to finish." I can't read what ali is thinking. I still don't have any idea what she wants now. But it looks like ali is having problems answering it herself.

"Do you like her?"

"I like her as a friend if that's what you mean. I am relaxed when I hang out with her." come on ali! Show some emotion. Give me a hint on what's happening.

"Tell me about yesterday."

"We are just hanging out on their house. She thought me how to play the guitar." I think were getting close. I can't forget the surprise in ali's eyes when she saw me holding hands with maya. I know it's supposed to be nothing but in her reaction I know it's not nothing. So here we are trying to figure out what the hell is happening.

"Why are you holding her hand?"

"It's nothing. It's just a friendly gesture." did I answer that right? Are our little holding hands just a friendly gesture? I don't know. I like ali. But maya is growing fond of me and I know if ever we continue this it will not stop on being friends. im not sure about that. Am I really gay?

ali just sighed and relaxed and said, "is being gay bad?" what? When did ali became interested on gay stuff? She just looks at me and laid down her head on my lap. She tore her gaze away from me and tilts her head sideways. I didn't answer her for a whole minute.

"I don't know. I know it's not accepted but I can't see anything wrong about it. Why did you ask?" I touched her hair and stroke it. She smiled and nuzzled closer to me. She is back to being sweet to me. im falling again. Shit.

"maya said she like you. She wants you. Not just friends."

"I know. I asked her about it yesterday. Maybe that's the reason we are holding each other. She has been so nice to me this whole week ali. When you're not around." ali looked at me and I stop stroking her hair.

"Sorry for not being around. im trying to get rid of something but I didn't. Anyways it's ok now. im dealing with it now. Do you like her too?" she asked it again. I heave a deep sigh and took a risk.

"I don't like her that way. Well not now. But im thinking if this continues I may like her." ali holds my hand now. ali's warm hands is very different from maya's but they are both comfortable. I more like ali's warmth.

"How about me? You like me right?" ali asks me head on. what? That is so straight. And she knows. Oh great. Might as well not lie.

"Yes, I still do." I answered her seriously. She sits and looks at me directly. I want to kiss her. I want her to know how I feel for her. How much I want her to want me like maya. I don't care if she is a girl.

"Are you gay?" her eyes is still on me. im surprised she only asked this now. I thought that's her first question to be honest.

"Does it matter? Will you not accept me if im gay?" I brace for the answer. I know this will be a make or break answer.

"No. I love you ems. I don't care if you're gay. I want you to be honest with yourself." still looking at me with those pretty light blue eyes. I can't hold it any longer. She said she love me. That counts for me something right even though it's not the same love that I want her. But still it is love. And I did the stupidest thing you can do when you're in this situation. She said be honest with myself right? So I kiss her.

* * *

**Alison POV**

her lips is so soft. Not unlike any other kiss I have. Her lips is perfect with me. As soon as it started the blissful sensation in my stomach stops because she pulled out. I just looked at her. I think that's my greatest kiss ever. I want to feel that blissful sensation again. She looks like she doesn't know what to do. But she is not breaking my stare. So I just smiled and leaned in again. I want her to know that I want her too. As much as maya wants her. im just not ready. Yet. im not brave like maya.

I don't want this to end. I just want her lips on mine. Never letting go. I think I really do love her. As we break our second kiss, I just hug her. And whispered, "Wait for me, please em."

* * *

**uh..what do you think? please review!**


	9. Chapter 8

**new chapter...enjoy!**

**Being Jealous 08**

**Emily POV**

"hey em! Are you here with us or not?" aria snaps her hand in front of my face.

"im sorry. What were you saying?" as I try to clear my mind from what happened on the past few hours. It's kind of a blur on how I got here. Of course ali didn't leave my side the whole time. I think she is the one steering me this whole time because im so out of myself. Why? Because I kissed alison dilaurentis. Twice.

As I thought again what happened on the woods, after she hugged me and whispered those words. I know ali have some feelings for me. She is just not yet ready. So what am I gonna do? Wait for her of course! Im not disobeying her orders so why will disobey now?

After that we pretty much talk about gays and how some people saw it is wrong and it is a sin. I told ali my views on it and she just stares at me and looks at me very closely. Like she's trying to decide something. I told her that for me being gay is nothing. It's just that you're in love with a person that has the same gender. It doesn't change who you are like every homophobic is believing. You are still the same person. You just love differently.

"I think emily is really out." hanna finally smacks me with a pillow that sends me falling down to ali in spencers bed. As I try to hit back I can see ali smiling at me differently. With that I smile and enjoy the company of my best friends. I know something is changed between us.

* * *

**Alison POV**

everyone now is sleeping and without surprise im beside emily. She is already sleeping. I can't help it. I can't sleep. Ive been controlling my self for the last half hour that she is sleeping if I can hug her and let her be close to me as possible. I want her that badly.

By the way we are here on spencer's house having a sleepover because she is here all alone. So here we are keeping her company. Her parents are off to some awards night that her sister, melissa, won. After meeting at the park and goofing off and having ice cream again, I think aria is noticing something between us. You see, I didn't let go of emily's hand whatever I do. I only did once when spencer called me to talk to me about something and I can tell you it didn't last long but for those few minutes that im not holding her, I can't concentrate on spencer. I can't even remember now what we talked about. I think it's something about field hockey. I'm not sure. Am I pathetic or am I really in love with her?

In all our sleepovers, emily always sleeps with aria beside her. Well she is very relaxed with her. And I always get stuck with hanna and spencer. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate them. But believe me im more relaxed with hanna than spencer. Spencer is so competitive and she is very like me so we are always clashing. I thought about talking about my feelings with emily to hanna today but I decided against it. It's too early. Maybe next time. But definitely my choice will be hanna or maybe aria.

Im kind of surprised that emily looks at me and I get her instantly. She wants to sleep beside me. Not with aria. I told you that I think aria notices something on the park right? But when emily looks at me and I nod, I swear I can hear aria's mind screaming "be careful em, don't hurt my best friend ali."

As im still struggling if im gonna hug her or not aria clears her throat and I looked at her. Oh shit. She saw me looking at emily while she is sleeping. Well lets just say how ever good I am at pretending, my position is a dead give away. Im leaning on my elbow and looking directly at her, stroking her hair. And smiling. But still I held my composure.

"Why are you still awake? Go back to sleep." I said with a little of annoyance. You are disturbing my emily.

"Please don't hurt her ali. Please." she said it with all her emotions on every word. I remembered the time when I first talk to the both of them. How aria instantly hold emily to protect. She knows how fragile emily is. I know she doesn't want emily to be hurt. But what strikes me more is she talked to me head on. She is standing up against me. I just smile and nod.

"No. I will not hurt her." with that she also smiles and I can see from her face she knows. She knows what im feeling towards her best friend and im not bothered about it. I can't help but ask.

"How do you know?"

"Your eyes. The way you look at her. Don't worry, it's not obvious. I just know because I have a hunch. Emily is my best friend you know. She tells me things. Not all but it is enough." with that she smiles again and get back to bed.

I smiled at the words of aria. Emily is so lucky to have aria. As I turn back to my girl I notice she is smiling. I prod her on the shoulder a little. I know she is awake and listening on our conversation.

"thanks." she muttered before opening her eyes. She smiles again at me and my heart is dancing. This is the first time I felt this happy in my life. And it's just because of her. Emily fields. My self control snapped and before I can tame it. Im already hugging emily so close to me. I don't want to let her go. I don't want to face the complications I need to do before I can fully be with emily. With that I snuggle closer on emily's hair. Enjoying every moment and every breathe im taking with her.

"I...like...you...really ali" she whispered. I know she is now dreaming and she's not aware that she said it out loud but with those words, I hugged her more and sleep very comfortably.

* * *

**Aria POV**

Im the first to wake from the five of us. No surprise there. Im always the one. Well me or emily but as im staring at ali and emily so close together, I can't help but smile. Emily looks very peaceful and very happy. Surprisingly, so did ali. This is the first time I saw her this happy. Even back then when she swore to us that she is in love with some guy on a different school. On that time emily pretty much don't talk when ali is there. But now, I can see they are both happy. I never imagine a day that they would be together. Come to think of it, they are still not together and im dying to know what happened in the woods. Yes, I know. Emily texted me before ali came to pick her up. She is my best friend so I know this stuff.

Emily is now stirring to wake up. She saw me standing over them and felt ali's hand on her waist. Her smile is so genuine and so true. Looks like all her dream has come true. She looks at ali and then me.

"Did she sleep while hugging me or did I hug her? I kind of have a dream that you two talk and she hugged me." she looks at me puzzled. I just smile and motion her to move and go downstairs so we can talk more freely. She looks crestfallen that she has to be away from ali's arms but I just shoved her playfully and she understood.

"It's not a dream. It really happened ems. She hugged you all throughout the night." I have never seen emily so happy like this. She is radiating pure joy.

"I never thought this will happen." she said breathlessly as she prepares breakfast for all of us. Well this is our setup usually. As we are the one who always wake up first, we prepare breakfast. I mean emily do, im crap at cooking. I just stay with her and keep her company.

I smiled again at her and didn't answer at first. I don't know what to say. My conversation with ali is very surprising. I never thought I will see the day that ali is showing her full emotions. And she didn't deny it. She really likes emily.

"So are you a couple now?"

"Not yet, she said I need to wait for her." as she prepares the omelet for me, hanna and spencer. Thats our favorite breakfast.

"I can't wait till later, em. I know you will not tell me everything  
but I know you will tell me enough." I told her confidently.

"Of course. I have a lot to tell you. By the way, how was it at home?"

"The same, my father is barely home." it sucks at staying home. Everyday my suspicion grows bigger and bigger.

"Do you want to investigate? That could be fun." she jokes. And I laugh with that.

"You've got to be kidding me em." as I help her to get plates for our omelets.

"Yes I am. Don't worry things will turn around for sure." she hugged me one handed. This is the reason why I love hanging out with her. She is so optimistic about things. And for hanging around with her for years, I think it rubs off on me.

"em, about ali. Don't give too much ok? Just be careful. For now. Until she is sure." I said it very carefully as she turns around and look at me.

"I know. Don't worry." with that I heard footsteps coming.

"I will not hurt you em. I promise ok aria?" ali just goes straight to emily and whispered something on emily's ear then kiss her on the cheek. After that she goes back to the bedroom and shouts, "don't forget my favorite em!"

Emily just smiles stupidly. Im just stunned at what I witnessed. Ali acts like she and em are a couple.

"Are you sure you're not yet..." I started.

"Nope. You know her. She is just sweet."

"Yeah, keep protecting her." I shoved her playfully and we just relax and continue to prepare her and ali's breakfast.

* * *

**Maya POV**

I swear if looks can kill or somehow hurt, ali is supposed to be rushed to the hospital right now from the looks ive been giving her. The whole time the five of them on spencer's yard, ali is holding emily like she own her. And keeps on looking at emily differently. Did something happen to them? Did ali finally told her that she like her too? The green monster is killing me.

"em, come on." hanna said to emily. But before emily can answer ali interrupted.

"She can't hanna. We still need to do something. School stuff." then she saw me standing in front of our house. Her looks become venomous instantly. I will not back down. You don't deserve emily. So I just stare right back but she looked away because she doesn't want any of her friends to notice im here.

"Don't worry hanna, I need to go somewhere too and it's on your way so we can go together." aria told the sad looking hanna. They are still saying something but im too focus on the two of them. Ali whispered something on emily and she instantly smile more widely. With that they all leave each other and go.

Ali and emily turns around and emily saw me finally. I just give a weak smile and wave. Ali's smile could not be any smugger. Looking like she already won emily's heart. I just gave her a fight-is-not-yet-over look.

I jogged to reach emily, I really don't care if ali is there beside her. I am nervous but I will not let ali have her, not when I already spends some time with her and I know im not a goner.

"Hi em! Had a nice day?" I smiled sheepishly.

"Of course she had. She is with us. With me." ali said and she is still not letting emily's hands go, which is a great source of irritation for me. Why does emily is not letting go? When it's me holding her hand she immediately let go when ali saw us. Do I still have a chance?

"ali, don't start a fight please." emily pleaded as she looked at ali. Ali can't do anything. She can't say no with emily. She holds that same power with me. Damn she is powerful.

"Let's just go to your house. Ok?" she continues then turns to me, "im really sorry for this maya. I will make it up to you ok?" she smiles. What can I do? She smiled and as how ali just surrendered on emily's pleading, I also surrendered on her smile.

"Ok. Ill call you ems, ok?" I said and noticed that, with that emily smile again and looks at ali. She just squeezes her hand and answered me.

"I'll wait for it." is emily's answer. With that my heart is jumping for joy. She looks like she is looking forward on my call. That counts for something.

"You're lucky emily is here." ali hissed at me. "Just stay away from her." she oredered me. Who does she think she is ordering me? I have no intention of obeying her.

"I'll go if emily says so." I said confidently. Damn ali is so scary, but I have to stand up to her. I need to fight for emily.

"Hey, please." emily pleaded again to the both of us.

I don't trust myself for speaking because I know ill just say more harsh words so I just nod my head and said my goodbye while not looking at ali. I think ali is also exercising all her self control from giving me verbal abuse.

Emily waved and ali lead the way to her house. I can't help but feel like crap. I thought I now have a chance but just after a week I lost all of it. Just because ali decided to show more of her feelings. I can't control my jealousy, so I just get up to my room and grab my guitar to vent out my anger to ali.

I need to show emily what I can do to her that I know ali can't do. Like being who she is, no controlling and being free to the whole world. One thing I know ali can't do is to tell the whole world what she feels with emily and I know I can do that. She just needs to see that. She must look at differently other than blue eyed blonde.

* * *

**do you think ali will not hurt emily?**

**thank you for reading...please review! it will mean a lot...**


	10. Chapter 9

**ok...this is last easy chapter for me to write...ive been having some distractions from someone in Brazil...haha**

**so this chapter is for you...but hopefully you will all enjoy this!**

**Being Jealous 09**

**Alison POV**

I really hate her. I hate how she makes me weak. I hate how she controls me without her knowing it. I hate the feeling that someone is controlling me. I hate that I love emily fields so much im beginning to be ok that she controls me. Ugh! What's happening to me? Is this what happens when you love someone? You start to don't care what's happening to you as long as you make her happy? I need to go. I need to think. I need distraction.

"Hey ali! Are you with me? The class is over." hanna is waving her hand furiously in front of my face looking worried.

"im ok. Just thinking." I smile a little to show her im ok. Me and hanna are always like this. Im not that affectionate to her but believe me I care about her. In a more subtle way.

"uhm ali can I ask you a favor?" she said in almost a whisper. We are now walking on our next class. We are still together so it's ok. She is always like this to me. Always intimidated. Just the way I want.

"What is it?" I ask indifferently. My mind is still on someone. Wondering what is she doing and what kind of surprise will I receive from her on lunch later.

"ali? Did you hear me?" hanna interrupted my thoughts again. Im starting to get annoyed at her but as I look at her, she is very worried and looks like she is not getting enough sleep. What is wrong with her? Ok now I feel bad. Not only am I ignoring one of my best friends when clearly she has a problem and im almost annoyed with her.

"Sorry hanna. You've got my full attention now. What were you saying?" I decided to somehow at least help her. Well she is one of my best friends from the five of them. Aside from emily of course. I find more comfort on their arms than the arms of the stronger ones, aria and spencer.

"Can you come with me when I go to my dad for a week long vacation?" Her eyes are kind of pleading. I know how jealous hanna is to her almost to be sister even though she haven't get to meet her yet. As her dad describes kate, she is almost like me. Perfect as hanna like to call her and I know how much hanna wants to show her father that she is also perfect even though she is kind of fat and eat lots of junk food.

"Let me think about it first ok? I have to miss the whole school week so it's something I need to at least think about."

"Sure. Thanks for considering it ali." with that we reached our class.

I just smiled at her and thankful that at least she appreciates it.

As the class starts my mind goes back to emily and maya. They will gonna have again history class alone. My mind can't relax whenever I know they are together although that is still after lunch. I know maya is not yet surrendering our fight with emily but come on! We have a clear winner and that is me. Although I notices that whenever emily is with maya, emily is not that afraid to show her feelings. I mean with me, we need to hide it to our friends other than aria but as for me I want it to keep it secret from the whole rosewood. Im just not yet ready and I know emily is not too. With every passing day I spend alone with emily my feelings for her become stronger. Every time she gave me something or when she protects me or just anything she does for me is enough for me to want to kiss her to thank her. We haven't kissed again. Something ive been missing so much. I miss her lips on mine. That's it.

Hanna gave me an odd look and then looks at the teacher indicating that I should listen. I just rolled my eyes and continue from daydreaming.

What if we got together at last? I think my heart will explode just by thinking about it. Then I know it will not happen unless one of us will be brave enough to take risks. As I think about this I thought about maya. How brave she was. What if that bravery cost me emily? Can I handle that?

I really need to go somewhere to think. To at least rest my mind from emily and be sure on what im really feeling. I look at hanna then thought about her vacation for a week. If I go at least I get to think for a while away from emily and I can please hanna. Can I handle being away from emily for a week? Shit! I hate this feeling of helplessness, that my happiness is tied to one person. I need to control this. I need to go.

"ali! Class is over. Are you ok? You look like you're thinking about something very deep." hanna snapped me again from my thoughts and noticed that half of the class are already on it's way out of the door. I quickly gather my things and let hanna follow me to the cafeteria for lunch.

* * *

**Emily POV**

"excuse me! Coming through." I shout to no one in particular. I need to bring this cake to the cafeteria safely. This is my surprise to her for this day. I kinda bring ali a gift every other day and she is now looking forward for it everyday.

At last I reached our lunch table and saw ali is looking at my package expecting something.

"Hi guys! Brought you something for dessert." I smiled to all of them and finally rests my eyes to ali. I missed her already but we just haven't seen each other this whole morning but I get to walk her again to school today.

"Ooh, what is it?" hanna looks excited already. Im not a great baker but im good and hanna is my one and only fan. I give them each one choco cupcakes and give the last one in box to ali. The only cupcake in box.

"Are you sure you make this time right ems?" spencer said. I laugh with all of them because the last time I brought them cakes is kind of a disaster. I don't want to give any details. It's too embarrassing.

"theyre good!" as hanna is already on her second bite.

"Slow down hanna. You are still dieting, right? So you have to burn those in exercise later." ali scolded hanna. This is their usual scenario in lunch. Ali really wants to build up hanna's confidence and be her partner for being the queen bee but for that to happen, hanna should be able to maintain a diet for her figure. Hanna has everything already except the body so that's what ali is working for.

"ok." hanna responded very shyly.

Ali just shrugs and opens her cupcake and smile very widely. It's still a cupcake but with lettering of "A & E". She looks at it stunned and gives me a embarrassed smile and she is saying thank you with her eyes. But I can't help but think that there is something wrong. Looks like she is battling a decision in her head. I just pretend I didn't notice it and get on with our lunch.

Halfway our lunch hanna spoke up.

"Hey ali have you thought about going with me to my dad?"

"Don't worry han, I will come with you. We will teach that bitch a lesson" ali winks at hanna and continue eating. Hanna looks very happy that ali is coming with her but im kind of a little pissed. She never mentions to me something about a vacation with hanna. I need to know about this.

"Uh what's that about?" I ask both of them.

"Oh it's just my dad invited me to spend a week there and I know you know that, I can't handle kate right? So I think ali can handle her for me." hanna answered me while looking at ali uncomfortably.

"Why em? Is there a problem with me going away?" ali told me. Oh great. I thought we got passed this stage of teasing.

"Are you sure about going? You will miss a lot for going out on a week. No offense hanna." I added quickly. I have no intention of hurting her. I just don't want ali to go for a week without her telling me first. Is that bad?

"No, I think it will be alright." ali answered shortly.

"But you haven't told me about this!" I can't keep myself from saying it. I thought were gonna be more open to each other now that we got some sort of understanding. Aria instinctively holds my arm to relax me somehow. I know what im doing is suspicious but I don't care.

"So? There is nothing to talk about so what will I say to you?" she keeps on ignoring me. Her face is still showing no emotion. I can't stand this anymore. I jumped to my feet and rushed to the girl's bathroom at the same time trying to keep my tears at bay. I didn't notice what is ali's reaction. I just heard her say.

"Don't follow her."

With that I quicken my pace and let the tears fall freely.

* * *

**Aria POV**

"em?" I cautiously reach out a hand to her and try to sooth her out. "It's ok. Ali didn't mean that."

I want to slap ali. Even though she said no one should follow emily I didn't follow her. Why will I follow her? Emily needs me. I thought she promised me she will not hurt her.

"God I hate ali." as emily just continue sobbing on my chest.

"Don't. Im just surprised at what she said. I know im over reacting." emily said in between sobs. I can't believe this. Emily still tries to protect ali after what she said?

"em, she is wrong about this one! There is something going on between the two of you. She should have told you about this one first!" I want her to believe me. Come on! Listen to me. I really hate ali.

"You heard ali. There is nothing. So there is nothing to talk about." with that she controlled her sobs and wash her face on the sink. I can't let ali do this on her. I know something like this is bound to happen. I should have protected emily more securely.

"I'll say something to ali don't worry em. I can't let her do this to you. Going away for a week is not a joke. Even though she will not hear out what you're gonna say at least she should have told you ahead of time. That's the least she could do." I just hugged emily and she hugs back. I love emily too much to just let ali treat her like this. She can't deny to me. She has feelings for her more than a friend.

"Come on em, let's get our things back and head out to our class. We will be late." she just nod and walked out of the comfort room.

As we reach our table she stops suddenly and reach out to a box. The box that she gave to ali. Her surprise. I look over it and I saw her beautiful lettering that I know took emily for hours just perfecting it. It's still untouched and what's worst. Ali just left it behind. Just like what she will do to emily for going on that vacation. With that emily goes back to crying again.

* * *

**Alison POV**

I feel bad. No I feel worst than worst. What did I do to emily? I hurt her. Shit. I didn't think through what I said about hanna. Aria is right. I should have talk to her before about it. She wrote me a note saying what happened after we left them and that makes me feeling totally wasted.

Even though we are still not a couple, we certainly act like one and going away on a week is not joke. As aria said rightfully again. Ugh. I hate it when im wrong. Especially if my mistake exploded to my face.

As I reached aria's locker for our daily meet up after school, I immediately noticed emily is not there. But there is still a chance that maybe she is just late. Right? So I asked them.

"Where's em?" still with confidence. I can't let them know what a jerk ive been feeling.

"She's with maya. Maya will take her somewhere to let emily take her mind off things. That's what she said to me on our last class." aria responded to me. Anger exploded on every part of my body. Why the hell is she with maya?

"What? Aren't she you're best friend? You're the one who's supposed to calm her down! Not that bitch maya!" I immediately let aria know what im thinking and how angry I am feeling. But aria just stood her ground.

"She is also you're best friend. But you hurt her. Maya didn't." giving me a knowing look. I know what she means and that doesn't take any anger away from me. Instead it just grew into hatred.

This is all hanna's fault! She shouldn't have invited me in the first place! Why the hell should I care for her?

"Uh are we missing something here? Is there anything between you and emily?" spencer interrupted.

"There is nothing smarty pants! And if there is you should have figured it out already being so smart. Right?" I just can't control my outbursts. Then I turn to hanna, "this is all your fault." I said to her quietly. Then I left them with surprised looks on hanna and spencer and also pure hatred from aria. I don't care if their angry. I just want to make sure emily is alright. To talk to her. To tell her im sorry.

As I enter the swimming pool area to check if she's here, my body froze. No one is there except for two people. Maya is comforting a crying emily. Maya hugging emily with one hand while the other holding her hands. The image of emily crying, is too much for me. I caused her this. I caused her this pain. I just stood there frozen on the spot knowing what i need to do but don't have the courage to do. I cant fight for emily. Im such a coward. With that I walked away with tears falling freely.

* * *

**i hope i did justice to their fight...i just want to atleast incorporate what happens on some of the other characters...**

**by the way i use the situation of hanna's parents in the books where they are already divorced...**

**please tell me what you think! thank you for all the reviews and i really appreciate it...**

**there really are more emily-maya fans...haha**


	11. Chapter 10

**ok...this is the hardest chapter i have ever written...so i dont know if i did it right...please bear with me...**

**by the way thank you for all the wonderful reviews and im glad i keep you all on guessing who will end up with emily...**

**really appreciate everything so hope you enjoy!**

**Being Jealous 10**

**Maya POV**

"em, calm down. Please." I said to emily as she cry her heart out to me. What the hell did ali do to you? My heart is breaking into million pieces just because im seeing emily break down like this. Im gonna hurt ali. Really, really hurt her. Did ali rejected emily? But no, looks like that's not the case according to aria. She didn't tell me the whole story so im still at lost of why does my beautiful emily has been like trashed and so broken.

As I reach my history class earlier, I instantly searched for emily but got disappointed. She is still not here. After a minute emily arrived while being escorted by aria. I was too stunned to move. Emily looks like she has been to a war. Her face is so messy and she looks very exhausted. Then aria gets my attention.

"maya, I know you like her so I know you can take care of her. I really want to do that but I just can't today. She and ali had a fight and that's always been emily's weakest point. I know she will be too shaken up to talk to you right now and please don't push her to talk. She will talk when she is ready. Just please stay with her and walk her home. She needs someone today. Can you do all that?" aria said all this very fast and all in one breathe. I can sense that she is pleading with me. And what kind of a fool am I to object? Emily needs me and I will not let her down. So I nodded to aria with determination and she walk out of the class, earning him a glare from our teacher that I didn't notice arrived.

So here I am comforting the broken emily. Still crying her heart out. I don't know what to say to her so I just let her cry it all out. She's been crying like this for almost half hour. At last her sobs is getting weaker and I think she is gaining control again of herself.

"You feel any better?" I ask as I wipe away some of her tears. She smiled weakly to that and nodded.

"Good. I know you will not tell me so I'll just take your mind off things. Ok?" I said again to her. She is still close to me. She is still leaning to me. Her body is so perfect with mine. My imagination immediately works up an image with the same position of our body but with a happier emily. Then the image broke. Emily hugged me again but this time I know she is smiling more strongly now.

"thank you for letting me ruin your shirt just because of my breakdown." she whispered to me. Her whisper sends shivers to my spine. I can't help the smile that's breaking to my face. Damn you emily fields. Im falling for you. Hard.

* * *

**Emily POV**

I think I found new strength from maya. She just let me cry and didn't try to stop me even once. For some they thought that making you to stop crying it can make you feel better but for me, I need to exhaust myself from crying then I will feel better. That's what maya exactly did to me. And im so grateful for that. Only aria knows that. She let me cry when I learned that ali is having a boyfriend and keeps telling to us that she is in love with that boy. That day too I realized that I like ali. More than necessary.

Plus just being with maya really takes my mind off things. It just closes to the two of us. When im with her I barely thought about ali. Even though me and ali are ok. I don't know why but she really has something that captivates my mind and takes me away. It started weak but as we continue to hang out, I can say everyday it starts to grow stronger. My eyes are always drowning with her hazel brown eyes when she looks at me very strongly.

"What are you thinking?" maya broke my flashback but I smile at her.

"You have no idea what you did to me." I answered her while we are walking to our favorite cafe. Where we first hanged out.

"Do you think you can tell me?" she teases me.

"No. You have to find that one by yourself." I shove her playfully. This is how we usually walk. Shoving and giggling. But right now there is no giggling. Just silent shoving but a very comfortable shoving that is.

As maya let me sit first on our table and she went and get our coffee I thought about what happened to me and ali.

I don't know that it will hurt like hell. Like all my insides have been burning repeatedly and all the things that ali said to me keep repeating in my mind.

_There's nothing to talk about, don't follow her, the cupcake that she left._

The cupcake that she left like me. She promised me and aria that she will not hurt me. But I guess promises don't apply with ali. I know aria will let ali feel her anger towards her and im kind of afraid of that. I know aria is kind of intimidated by ali but I also know that aria is so protective of me. She will break all walls if she has to just to protect me.

God im thankful for having a friend like aria. We became close because I trusted her even though every one thought she is different. She is dodgy. But I didn't care about that. Me, being a jock that somehow have an image, I don't care if what will be the effects if I became friends with her. I just did. I like how she dresses, how she carries herself and the first time I read her stories I just fell in love with them. With that I know I can be friends with her. Sounds shallow? But that's just it. And I never regretted that even once in my life. For that aria is grateful. Someone trusted her.

"Hey, what are you smiling at? You've just been spending the whole hour crying then now you're smiling like a fool." maya is back and caught me smiling.

"im just thinking how lucky I am to be aria montgomery's best friend." I said as I reach out for my cup of coffee.

"Yes. You are lucky. Very lucky." maya agrees with me. I can feel she is looking at me. Scrutinizing if im ok.

"I feel better now. Don't worry. And it's all because of you and aria." I said seriously.

"Yeah. No thanks with ali." maya said it with anger in every word. My instinct tells me to protect her. And so I did.

"It's not all ali's fault. Some of it is mine too. I over reacted." maya just stare at me mouth half open. She can't believe I just protected ali again. In the entire midst she did to me. I still did.

"You really love her." maya said in a matter of fact tone.

I didn't answer. I know she knows and don't need to hear it from me. It will just hurt her if I say it out loud.

"emily I care about you." she reaches for my hand and put all her emotions on her hand hoping to transfer every emotion to me. I can say she is succeeding. I can feel how much she love me and how much this hurt her.

"I will not go anywhere. I will wait for you." she continues. With that few words I can say that maya loves me. Something that ali can never do. Something that I can't accept. I want ali not maya. I love ali not maya. But that's not the case right now. Maya is not letting me choose. She wants me to deal with this on my own. No pressure from her. She is saying to me that whatever my decision is, she will be here for me. Maya will always be there for me. She will not leave like alison will do. I am everything to maya not unlike to ali, im nothing.

* * *

**Alison POV**

Emily is not nothing with me. She is everything to me. So why the hell did I just tell her that? My little mind keeps on going back to the things I said to her. And worse how I left the cupcake. I know what it looks like to aria and emily. How stupid can I get? How I loath my self now. I cannot forgive my self if something bad will happen to emily just because of this. It's all hanna's fault!

It's good to blame it to someone. At least I feel my anger is being turn towards others. But it's not enough. I still feel like shit. What will I give just to rewind things back.

"ali! Hanna is here for you. Hanna dear just go up to her room." my mom. What the hell is hanna doing here.

As hanna is about to knock I opened the door forcefully. And leave hanna in mid knock.

"ali." she said in a very tiny voice. I just tug her inside my room and close the door and locked it. I ordered her to sit. I don't know where to start. But at the back of my head, my common sense, is telling me that it's not hanna's fault. And it will look worse if I give it all out on hanna. Shit. What stupid situation im in.

"Look ali, I don't know what happened to you and emily but it looks like it's my fault or something. I shouldn't have invited you to that vacation." hanna started her speech but stops to take a breath. She looked at me.

"if you don't want to go, just say so. I can totally understand." she finished.

I look extremely up close to hanna. This is what I meant that emily is the weakest to our group and hanna is secretly strong. I know emily can't do what just hanna did. Face me and tell what she really wants to say. Shit. I really care for hanna. There is no denying that she really needs me. But me and emily messed up because of her. Still, it's my fault I didn't talk to emily first. I just say yes without really considering it.

"Look hanna, I'll still go with you. The damage has been done to me and emily." I said with a little edge in my voice. I know it's wrong to put the fault on hanna but it makes me feel a little lighter. So I don't care. Hanna looks like she is about to ask me something and I sense it's something about me and emily.

"ali, is there something..." hanna started in a very tiny voice.

I shook my head and said, "Not now hanna." I need someone to talk to. I need someone. Just to tell me I still have a chance with emily. Please let me still have a chance.

"Ok. Thank you so much for still coming. This will really mean a lot to me." hanna said and I broke a true smile after all that happened. I hope hanna can say something to me that can ease my problem. Hanna really means a lot to me.

"When will we go?" I ask her.

"Saturday morning. We will be back next week late afternoon. Is that alright?" she answered me as she stood up readying herself to leave.

"Yes. It's ok hanna. It really is." I said it with sincerity. I know I can't keep my anger at her at all times but I hope she can make it up to me when I told her about me and emily.

* * *

**ok this is how i really see their relationship...emily is desperately inlove with ali, ali is too coward to love emily back and maya loves emily so much she is willing to be hurt...**

**i hope we share the same views...anyways please tell me what you think!**


	12. Chapter 11

**sorry for the delay of updates...and i know this is a short one so i will just make it up on the next chapter!**

**by the way i just want to say...AWESOME midseason premiere for PLL! **

**well thats it...thank you for everyone who reads this! really keeps me motivated...**

**Being Jealous 11**

**Emily POV****  
**  
Ali and hanna will leave in about twenty minutes. Hanna's mom will drive them to her dad's but still hanna is nowhere near ali's house. Where am I? I'm hiding somewhere in spencer's bushes. Good thing that the hasting's are not here. They are out of the country and left last night.

Why am I here? Ali texted me last night to go to her house because she have something important to tell me. No sorry or anything. I am pissed off with that text. Really pissed off. But why am I still here? It's because that's ali. Although I'm hiding and I'm still fighting my self if I will really go over there and talk to her. By the way she is there on their front porch waiting for me.

From my point of view I can say she didn't have enough sleep last night. She may also cried. And her reaction right now is very anxious. Looking left and right, waiting for me. I can't stand her. I still love her. I mean I always like her like this. One way. So in a way that helps me heal the wounds she left to me. But my greatest antiseptic is maya st. Germaine. She always made sure that I'm ok and she keeps on surprising me just to make sure my mind is nowhere a blue eyed blonde. Which is a little comforting and helps me a lot. It really did take my mind of ali. Now, I guess it's time to face the music. Time to face ali. So I remove myself from my hiding spot and called ali.

"Hey" is all I can muster to say. She heard me and hurriedly walking to me. I can't read her expression all I know she is surprised. In a good sort of way.

"emily I'm really sorry for what I said to you. I didn't mean them. But I'm just realizing something and I think I need some time alone. That's the reason I took the offer of hanna." she instantly started once she knows I can hear her. At her last few words she caught my hand and kissed it. Shit. Her lips really do amazing sensation in my stomach. Shit. I think I'm gonna forgive her. I can't resist being angry with her. I can't. I don't want to end whatever me and ali have. Wait do we really have something? That did the trick. I'm angry again.

"You left the cupcake. Just like what you will do to me today. No heads up. You're just gonna go." I said to her with minimum emotion. I need to control this. I need to be angry.

She looks very defeated. Like she knows every little detail of her sin. My heart is starting to melt. I'm starting to forgive her again.

"I know that's what it looks like to you but believe me I don't intend to leave it like that. I don't want to leave it. I just did. Like what I did to you." ali's eyes starts to water. Shit. When did ali learn to show this much emotion? Yet I can't believe that I believe her. Think about it. If I'm in her position I would probably think of nothing else too. One more thing before I forgive her.

"Is there something between us?" I ask with all the courage I can muster. This is the first time I came to ali like this. The first time I face ali head on.

"I..of c..." she was interrupted by someone. She jerks my hand away. Then I heard hanna's voice.

"Hey, are you two ok? Is there something going on?" hanna's voice is kind of accusing for me. Maybe because ali is holding my hand a while ago.

"Nothing. Just saying proper goodbye." ali said this without stuttering. Without any nervousness. Full of confidence. Without any of the emotion she let me see a while ago. Then looks at me and say goodbye again. Is it just for leaving me now or is it for our relationship?

"Oh ok. Bye then em! Good thing you and ali are ok now. See you." she waved and followed ali to her house. I just wave and force a happy smile.

I make sure that they are really inside before I ran. Ran into someone that's been eyeing me from afar. From her bedroom window. Making sure I'm ok. Maya. And there she is. Waiting in their front door. Willing to come and rescue me with arms open wide.

"It's ok. Don't cry. Let's go up to my room then you can ruin any shirt I have. I just want you to feel better." maya said while holding my hand and tucking loose strands of my hairs behind my ear. Her warmth is different from ali. More assuring and more protective.

"Thank you." I said sincerely and follow her upstairs. As we make our way to her bedroom I think about what ali said. She will say something before we are interrupted and what about all those emotion she let me see? Surely that's supposed to mean something right?

As we reach her door, my phone rings and I saw that ali texted me. I immediately go to the window and look for her. She is getting inside ms. Marins's car. Her expression is troubled but once hanna looks at ali, the confident ali is out again. This time with an excited expression. Something that looks like she will enjoy their vacation.

I read the text. It's just one word. "Sorry". I guess that's really it. Were done. Whatever we have before, whatever those kiss means to her before, whatever she means about that waiting for her is now nothing. That's why she is saying sorry.

I can't feel anything. I'm numb with pain. I feel so hollow inside. I'm officially destroyed.

* * *

**Alison POV****  
**  
I can't make small talk. I hope she understand what that sorry means. That I'm sorry that hanna interrupted us. I hope she didn't get any mixed messages. To get my wish, I did what emily always do. Pray to all gods. Wish that she gets the right message.

Hanna is beside me and talking to her mom. Of course my mask is instantly in my face. I'm making sure that hanna will not notice anymore suspicious. The last thing I need is for her to badger me with information. Oh I forgot that's spencer's job. Questioning before asking if it's ok to ask about it. Hanna is not like that. Not yet but she needs to be if she and I will be queen bee.

After pretending to hanna that everything is alright and joining with their conversation, hanna fell asleep. As she sleeps I took the advantage of thinking about what happened. Alison and emily. Ali and em. A & E. It's has a sweet taste in my mouth and lips when I say that out loud. It seems they really belong together. Yeah, that's how it supposed to be. Me and emily, just me and her. But a curly haired musician is keep intruding my thoughts Maya. Shit. She can own emily for the whole week that I'm not there.

That's the only thought that breaks my heart really fast. Maya and emily together. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth. They don't belong with each other.

That's the only thing I can't take. If emily and maya end up together because of this. I will not forgive hanna. Just then my phone received a text message. From emily.

"So we really don't have anything. I get it now."

That's it.

What the hell? She thinks my sorry is for making her believe that there is something between us? But there is! I love her! This is all hanna's fault. Hanna never should have interrupted us! We are making effort to be ok. I will not forgive her. I will make her regret everything that she invited me in this little vacation with her dad.

* * *

**well thats it...**

**hanna will play a part now next chapter...hope it will interest you more! and please review so i can improve...**

**im not that confident with this one but hoping you still enjoyed...**


	13. Chapter 12

**Ok start of the vacation...this one is ali's vacation and the next chapter will be emily's...these two chapters took me very long time to write...i dont know why...hopefully you will enjoy!**

**Being Jealous 12**

**Alison POV****  
**  
As we arrive on mr. Marins house, I keep my cool on hanna. I let her think I'm ok. That I'm not angry with her. That I'm happy, I'm with her. Hanna is a fool to believe all of that.

The first time I saw kate, her soon to be step sister, I thought of my plan and how easy it will be, to make it happen. I mean kate is every bit of opposite of hanna. But she is nowhere prettier than me. Even hanna is more prettier but since kate have a very sexy body and absolute confidence, the beauty of hanna can't be seen. Instead the intimidated and fat hanna is here.

"ali, how can I compete with that kate? My dad is all over her." hanna said to me while we are fixing our things on the spare bedroom we will share.

"Don't worry hanna. We will show that kate how beautiful you are and to your dad what's he's missing for not putting much effort on seeing you." I answered her confidently. Of course hanna believed that. She believed everything I said to her.

I can see what hanna meant when her dad is all over kate. Looks like she is the daughter he wanted to have instead of having hanna. Kate is sexy, athletic, have tons of interesting hobbies and almost a straight A student. Well let's just say hanna's most interesting talent is she can memorize your whole closet just by looking at it. That's how she is with clothes. And that's also how fast she is to eat junk foods which resulted to her zero confidence and chubby body.

Every time hanna's dad compliment kate, hanna starts to eat double time. That's really her problem. If she has something that's troubling her, she takes it out on eating. I know I have to protect her from kate because kate is definitely enjoying the torture that hanna is  
receiving from her dad, but I'm still angry at her so I help kate a lot to make hanna's life miserable here. Every side comment kate said to hanna I always agree and if possible add additional humiliation. It gives me satisfaction that I can hurt hanna like she hurt the relationship between me and emily.

Although kate is a little unbearable. I hate how she always comments about my clothes and how she is so good at everything. I know spencer loves to compete with me and I find it amusing with her but with kate, I find it annoying. But I have to put up to it just to make hanna miserable. But I stopped and feel my conscience kick in. It happened on our last night. Friday.

We just ate dinner and the three of us are watching a couple of DVD on their living room, killing time. There is a big bowl of cheese puffs and hanna is controlling her self not to eat anything. After me and kate humiliated her because of her eating habits a while back.

"Hey girls!" it's mr. Marin.

"Hey" we all answered.

"kate, I just saw the magazine you got yourself into. I didn't know that I will approve of it at first but they make you looks so much beautiful." mr. Marin said while hugging kate one handed. He is looking so proud and happy about her kate's new achievements. I'm almost tempted to protect hanna. She is still my friend after all. But the anger is back as I saw my cell phone. I remembered again what emily's last text to me. The one she misunderstood.

Emily has been texting me once a day. Just saying good morning but it is still enough to make me smile just to know she is still texting me. Then I remembered she always does that to our group, with the five of us. But still, the thought that she didn't remove me from that group text is a good sign right? I know once I talked to her when we got back she will forgive me. We will get back from the way we used to be. The only problem is maya.

"Ooh, yes I already saw that kate. Nice pose and outfit you're wearing. It makes you look really slim and sexy." I emphasized the last three words and look at hanna. And I can say I succeeded. She is now eating again. Which means she is bothered by what I said.

"Thanks. You know I just picked those entire outfit by myself you know." kate said smugly. I almost choked at what she said. Believe me those outfit are nowhere from good and I just said all those to irritate hanna. Hanna can pull much sensible outfit in her sleep than kate. She just can't wear it.

"That's my girl." as mr. Marin stand up and pats kate on top of the head. Still smiling in a satisfied sort of way. Good thing she didn't forget to talk to hanna. "You ok there piggy?" he smiles and kisses the cheek of hanna. Shit. I wished mr. Marin just didn't talk to hanna. I wished I didn't see hanna's expression now. She is about to cry and looks like all her insecurities and all the sadness she feels inside will burst. Shit. I want to comfort her. But then hanna keep her composure and smile to her dad then stare straight to nowhere. She really is brave.

I look at her on the corner of my eye and I think hanna receive all the misery she deserve. I think I can be good to her again. And at least make up for it. But of course I will not tell that I'm doing it all intentionally.

Just then hanna stand up and leave. I just have a half a second glance that she is about to do something desperate. I know her.

After 5 minutes I followed her and found she is on the cold hard floor of the bathroom. Her face is almost inside the toilet with something inside her mouth.

"hanna! What the hell are you doing?" I shout at her and at the same time pulling her away from the toilet. I want her to look at me.

Instead she just vomited and when she finally controlled her self she faced me. I can't describe her face. Her emotion is overwhelming. I think she just hit her boiling point.

Hanna's face is showing anger and hurt in every part of her gentle face. But now it's nowhere gentle. It's all hurt and being sick of herself. I officially despised my self now. I know I did half of what she is feeling right now. I'm supposed to be her friend and help her get confidence. But this is what I did to her. Blame her for something she didn't have anything to do. I just stare at her and I did what I can only think of. Apologize.

"hanna I'm really sorry. I didn't mean all those things I said to you. I just want to make you feel miserable and blame you for all the things that have been happening with me and emily." I said all of those as I am hugging her like I have never her hugged before. I had a glimpse of hanna's reaction of what I said but I think she is overwhelm and didn't register all of it. But at least she is hugging back. I don't know if it's from what I said or she is just desperate for someone to cry into.

"It's ok han, I'm here now. What are you doing here by the way? And why the hell you have kate's toothbrush?" I just notice the one she is holding on her other hand. The one she is pushing inside her mouth. Like the scene I noticed earlier.

"I am trying to make my self vomit." she said in a very embarrassed voice. I'm still not letting her hand go.

"Why?" I said in a very surprised voice. I have no idea why is she doing that.

"To let out all the food I ate today. So that I will not be fat." tears start to swell on hanna's face and as I'm about to comfort her the bathroom door swings open and kate is responsible for that. She just stood there mouth half open taking in the scene that is in front of her.

The puke on the toilet, her toothbrush on hanna's hand and hanna's tear stricken face. Kate's facial expression turns fast from surprised to comprehension and anger. She understands easily what hanna did. And from the look on kate's face I know she will let hanna have it. But I am here and no one treats my girls badly other than me. I'm not angry with her anymore. I will protect her from her no worth step sister to be.

Before kate can even get a word out, I interrupted her and starts my retaliation, "stop whatever you're gonna say cause I know it's just nonsense. Just like what you have been saying for this past week. You are so full of yourself and please stop competing with hanna because she don't need to compete with a girl that can't even put a decent outfit together. You're just in that magazine because you're mom works there. And for hanna's dad he is all yours! Hanna don't deserve that piece of a shit! He doesn't give a damn about hanna and always thinks that you're perfect but believe me, hanna is more perfect than you! Or even me." with that I hugged a surprised hanna and led her out of the bathroom leaving a mortified kate and I swear if jaw can really be dropped from your body, her jaw is already on the floor.

I tugged hanna and led her into a park somewhere on the end of her fathers street. It offers us peace and a much needed talk between best friends.

* * *

**Hanna POV**

My mind can't process clearly. I don't know if I will believe everything that happened this past half hour. Ali hates me and then the next second she protected me like she always do to emily. Is the world turned upside down? I know she hate me because she and emily had a fight, I just don't know what is between them. It looks something serious. So in a way I understand why ali is doing this to me. The one word my dad used is the one thing that reaches me to my limit and I just can't take it any longer.

I can't be my dad's daughter if I'm in this shape. I can't stop eating so ill just eat then puke it out. Well that's my plan. I didn't want anyone to know. Let alone ali and kate. Although it did some good. Ali defended me. Hanna. The outcast in her group. The one who is always in danger of being thrown out has been protected by the leader herself, ali. In the middle of everything that had happened between the past week. All the snide comments, I still look up to her. Especially now. I can't stay angry with her. She just insulted kate and praised me. Shit. Ali praised me? I need to confirm it to her.

We are seating on the swing set and both deep in our thoughts. But I think she sense now that we need something to talk about so ali looked at me. I can't read her expression. Just like always.

"I really am sorry that I hurt you hanna." ali started. In return I just looked at her. I think this is the first time she ever apologizes to me. Well I know she apologizes to the other three especially to emily but for me? This is the first time.

"Did you just apologize to me?" I said in surprise.

"Yes. I want to make it up to you." ali answered me in full confident.

"What?"

"hanna I care about you more than you think." she told me this without batting an eyelash so I know she is serious.

"Oh, thanks ali." I think I am blushing. Ali cared about me? Should I believe that?

"hanna I feel so bad for you today. Stop pleasing you're father because he is not worth it. If he thinks kate is perfect then he have no idea what perfect means. I'm not saying this because I'm your best friend but because it is true." ali said these all with emotion. This is the first time I see ali without her mask and I can say she is much beautiful than ever. I don't know what I will do with my dad because I really want him to notice me.

"So what will I do with my dad?" I ask her. I want to know if ever she has an idea.

"Show him what's he's missing. Show him you're better without him. You and you're mom is better without him. You will be slim and sexy and let kate and your dad see the real you. The part of you that we see." ali finishes and smile at me so encouragingly. I can't help it. I am so overwhelmed by the emotion of ali.

"Thanks. I think you're right." I said and smiled weakly too.

"Of course I'm right! I'm alisson dilaurentis and I'm fabulous!" we both laugh with that. I think the mask less ali has done her job with me. I am so grateful that she let me see that side of her. I try to remember everything she said to me. All the apologies. Wait, did she mention to me something about her and emily's relationship? I look at her and I think she haven't put the mask yet because her eyes is still showing her emotion. She is still bothered by something. Is it something about her and emily?

"ali, what does really happen between you and emily?" I asked very quietly. Did she heard me? But then she looked at me and I can say I can read her feelings now. She is hurt and confused.

"I love emily." ali stated simply. Oh. I can't react. My mind is spinning with all the things ali and emily do this past weeks. Even before that. They are becoming very sweet every passing day. Always holding emily's hands. Being protective, all those surprises emily gave her and all those meaningful glances that is exchanged between the two of them. So this is it. Ali loves emily.

"When did you know?"

"A month ago? Maybe longer. Is emily texting you?" I can hear in ali's voice, she is about to cry.

"Yes. Asking how was it here. How are you. She love you too ali. We can all see it." I told her seriously. Yes, that is definitely true. Emily is never good at lying especially when ali is involved.

"I know, but I blew it. By going to this trip and not telling her about it. And leaving her, just like I did with the cupcake. Her surprise." ali shook then put her hands together and cried. Real tears were dripping from her. I ran over to her and hug her. She then lean into me and cried even harder.

"I told her nothing is going on about us but the truth is, there is! I love her and its killing me! I want to escape from her and gain control over myself. That's why I came with you. She is controlling me with her feelings for me and I don't want anyone to control me but when it's her I can't control. I love her too much." ali said all these while she is buried on my hair and shoulder. I am speechless. Ali really loves emily. Ali never looses control. Emily did this to her. Yet I know it's ali's fault. So this is why aria looks like she can kill with her rage to ali. Ali hurt emily. Ali wants to escape but she didn't. It just got hold of her much more.

"It's ok ali. You just have to explain everything to her. Emily is the sweetest and most understanding person in the planet. She will forgive you. Besides can she resist the fabulous alison? She is also in love with you. Don't forget that." with that ali controlled herself and looks  
at me. Her crying is much quieter now.

"I don't know if we come back if she still loves me. Maya also loves emily." ali is so devastated. I can't believe she is capable of losing herself like this. Not because of the crying but because she admits that she can be defeated. I don't know what to say. I don't know maya. I don't know their relationship. But looks like I don't need to answer.

"Thank you hanna for listening. I know I did the right decision for telling this to you than anyone else. Don't tell anyone." with that masked ali is back and done with our talk. All her emotion is shut off again.

* * *

**yes..hanna have her own POV...**

**well thats it...next is emily's side...**


	14. Chapter 13

**ok..this is it..big chapter for emily and maya..really nervous for one part here..hope you get to like it...**

**also this is the longest chapter yet...well enjoy!**

**Being Jealous 13**

**Emily POV**

"maya! Where are we going?" I said as I try to keep up with her while still holding her hands.

Maya then stops and look at me. "Ok, we are going somewhere special. It's not a place I usually bring someone. So please bear an open mind." she said this in a breathless voice and looks like she is very excited with something.

"Can't you give me a hint?" I pleaded with her as we walk side by side. She just smiled at me and fell into a comfortable silence.

We have been like this ever since ali left. Every chance we can get, we spend it together. Doing everything we can think of. Watching DVD on their house or going on a movie but mostly just hanging out in their house and she is still teaching me how to play guitar. Although there is very slight improvement, it just usually led to pillow fight and sleepover. I am very comfortable with her. Almost like aria but of course with big difference.

Maya really likes me. She cares for me very deeply. She always make sure I got home safe, that even though she knows I still love ali, she makes sure I still enjoy myself fully and at least forget the hurt she let me feel. Maya is also angry with ali because of what she did to me. And that's enough for my heart to beat twice its speed. I know for myself that I like her. Not just friends. I want to be more than but ali is the one I love. I don't know if I'm just hurting maya but looks like she don't care. As long as we are together we are enclosed on our own world. She just wants to be with me and I'm not complaining because that's also what I want. I think I can forget anything and I can do anything if I'm with her. Everything ali is not, that's what maya is doing.

"Were here." maya interrupted my thoughts. As I look at the building in front of us, I first think of an abandoned shop. It looks like there is no one inside and no one is bothered to look after it. But a couple of people entered ahead of us. As I get closer I heard faint acoustic music and someone singing.

"Is this a club?" I asked maya while still standing outside the entrance.

"Uh it's a place for indie artists to come and play their music for everyone. Are you ok about this?" she asked skeptically and stares at me with those soulful eyes.

Excitement is creeping up on me. I never been on somewhere near like this. Another new experience for me and as usual maya let it happen. How can I get lucky that this girl love me?

"Yes! Let's go!" I said and led the way to enter the shabby establishment.

* * *

**Maya POV****  
**  
Shit. I'm so nervous. My hand is trembling and my heart is working overtime. I have never been this nervous when I play in here.

Yes, I sometimes play here as an indie artist and play whatever I want. Original or not, they don't care as long as you're willing to play for free. And this is another time that I will play. This time it's for emily. I hope I can end this afternoon with a bang and somehow make progress with whatever relationship we have. So I reserve the best date before ali and hanna come back. Which is later this evening. I'm gonna sing something special for her.

Staring at the brunette, I know I'm making progress. Although she is still deeply in love with ali, I can feel I'm starting to leave a mark with her. That somehow she is also falling with me. She just need more time to figure out that I'm the one she really wants. And I'm willing to give all the time she needs. I know she is better off with me.

The place is not that polished but the ambience is great for relaxing. Just for playing, listening and expressing yourself through music. We just ordered some fries and sodas and just listening to the artists who are playing. Some of them I knew and even get a chance to play with them even once.

As we spend time here I keep on looking over emily and see what her reaction. I know this is her first time to be in a place like this but from what I can see she is enjoying her self and sometime singing along with the artists.

After this set I will play next. She still has no idea I will play and I'm planning to keep it like that. Just to surprise her and see me singing in front of her. At last the set ended and will take a break for five minutes. The brunette turns to look at me.

"Thank you for bringing me here. They are all so good! Except the first one." and we laughed with that. The first one tried to do an acoustic version of "poker face" and I can say he failed miserably. But that doesn't count here, if that's how you express yourself its ok.

As much as I want to keep on talking to her I need to go and prepare. So I make my excuse.

"Hey em, I'm sorry but I'm going to the bathroom ok? Just wait for me here. I'll be back before the next artist." I smile and left her.

God, I don't know I can be nervous like this. As they signal me to come up on stage, I took a deep breathe and let myself loose on what I will going to do and love doing. Playing for other people. That did the trick. I feel myself relax. As I step on the stage I try not to look at emily and see her reaction. I may loose my focus. So I just fix my guitar and start to make introduction.

"Hi, everybody! I'm maya and this song I will be singing is by taylor swift, "come in with the rain"" and I let myself drown with the music and let the emotion of the song take me and express what this song means and for whom this song. To emily.

* * *

**Emily POV****  
**  
Oh my god. Maya is singing. In front of the whole club and she is so good! As I listen to her singing I can't help but be captured by the lyrics of her song. She is singing with every emotion that is appropriate with the song.

* * *

NORMAL - Emily's thoughts  
ITALIC - Maya's thoughts

**I could go back to every laugh****  
****But I don't wanna go there anymore****  
****And I know all the steps up to your door****  
****But I don't wanna go there anymore****  
**  
_Emily just know me as alison's neighbor, I don't want to be known again like that by her. I don't want to barge into her life and take control. I want everything in us to be right.__  
_  
I don't know maya but she came in my life at the right time. She knows me but I don't know her but still it didn't change anything. She still waited for me.

**Talk to the wind, talk to the sky****  
****Talk to the man with the reasons why****  
****And let me know what you find****  
**  
_I know ali will just hurt you. She can't tell you what she really feels.__  
_  
**I'll leave my window open****  
****'Cause I'm too tired at night to call your name****  
****But just know I'm right here hopin'****  
****That you'll come in with the rain****  
**  
_I want emily to trust me. I want emily to feel secured when she's with me. I want her to know that I like her and hope that she accepts that.__  
_  
maya wants me to trust her. She have given me every reason to trust her.

**I could stand up and sing you a song****  
****But I don't wanna have to go that far****  
****And I, I've got you down, I know you by heart****  
****And you don't even know where I start****  
**  
_I could do anything to be with emily. I just don't want to force her into anything. I know she still want alison and don't know me well. But please give me a chance.__  
_  
she's doing everything to me. Every little thing that I want alison to do for me. Even if it's hurting her like hell. She can read me in a single glance. Just like ali.

**Talk to yourself, talk to the tears****  
****Talk to the man who put you here****  
****And don't wait for the sky to clear****  
**  
_please emily, listen to me and let yourself see what ali is doing to you. Ali will just hurt you repeatedly.__  
_  
**I'll leave my window open****  
****'Cause I'm too tired at night to call your name****  
****Oh, just know I'm right here hopin'****  
****That you'll come in with the rain****  
**  
_I have shown emily enough that I like her and what I'm willing to do just for her. Please trust me. I will not hurt you. I can keep on waiting. Just let me see some signs.__  
_  
I know I can trust you maya. I know you are always with me. I'm so  
thankful you are not pressuring me for my decision.

**I've watched you so long****  
****Screamed your name****  
****I don't know what else I can say****  
**  
_I have known you since sixth grade and ive always been eyeing you from afar. I tried to stop and ignore my feelings for you but I did not succeed. I'm doing this for you. I'm doing everything I can think of, for you to notice me. Now I got my chance. I will not let you go. I will show you everything. I'm giving you time to decide, to choose me.__  
_  
maya has always been looking after me. It's such a good feeling that I am the one who is being taken care of now. She can do anything for me.

**But I'll leave my window open****  
****'Cause I'm too tired at night for all these games****  
****Just know I'm right here hopin'****  
****That you'll come in with the rain****  
**  
_I know emily still wants ali but I will still hope that she will choose me. I have shown her enough. Now I will just wait for her decision.__  
_  
She will wait for me. I know it.

**I could go back to every laugh****  
****But I don't wanna go there anymore****  
**  
_I know I can just forget you and get on with my life and free myself from getting hurt. But one thing I know, emily fields is worth the hurt and wait.__  
_  
Maya can just forget about me and get on with her life. I don't know if I can handle without her now that I know how it feels to have her on my side.

* * *

**Emily POV****  
**  
As she finished the last chords of her song I'm still not recovering from what she did. She sang for me. No one sang for me before. I don't know what to say to her. So I just give her a bear hug and peck on the cheek.

"Hey that's the best you could do?" maya joked because of my kiss. I laugh and gave her another kiss on the cheek.

"Maya you are so good. And that song. Why?" I said to her breathlessly.

Maya just smiled shyly and hold my hand.

"I spend ages just to find that perfect song for you." she answered while looking straight into my eyes. "I want you to know how I feel. And spend the best possible date before ali comes back." with that she lift off her hand from mine and stare on the floor.

Without hesitation I get her hands again and hold it with my two hands. "It's perfect." I let slide the ali comment. Partly because I still don't know what to do when I see her. I'm missing ali like crazy.

She looks at me again and smiles. "Do you get what I want to say in that song?"

"I think so. You want me to trust you." I think that's the main meaning of the song. I can trust her that she will not do what ali did.

"Good. My work is done!" she beams at me happily and we laugh with that. With that we enjoyed each others company while I scoot over closer to her so she can put her arms around me. I just have this crazy need to be close to her. Looks like she wants to because she oblige fast. With our perfect position we listen again to the next artist to sing.

* * *

**Maya POV****  
**  
This is perfect. Emily is perfect. But I know something is not right with her. I know she is worried when ali comes back. She still don't know what to do. I have to talk to her about this. About us. Before ali comes and ruin us again.

"Hey can we talk about...us?" I said to her while she walks me home. I can't walk her home that night because she has something more to do. That's why we need to cut off the night pretty early. I also don't want to reach our place because I know this is the time that ali will return from her trip. I don't want them to see each other this fast.

"What you want to know?" as she looks at me and hugs herself because of the chilly night.

"I mean what will you do now that ali is back?"

"I don't know." she answers me honestly. That's what I thought so.

"Will you forgive her?"

She just shook her head. Still at lost of what to do. Honestly if I'm in her position I don't know what to do myself. I just know our future is in her decision. If she decides to forgive her then it will be another hurdle for us. If she didn't forgive her then it's very good news for the both of us.

Emily POV

As I have no answer on maya's questions to me I pulled out my phone and texted ali.

"Hope you're already at home."

I miss her and I'm so confuse right now. I really don't know what to do. I want to forgive ali but I'm still not convince that ali did something wrong that I need to forgive her. For me, we just need to talk. So I just smiled at maya and hold her hand.

"Thank you for keeping me company this whole week. You really made me happy." I said sincerely.

Maya blushed but hide it instantly and just answered me, "ill do everything for you ems. You should know that by now. "

"I know. Especially because of that song." I replied and shoved her playfully. I don't know how I become so lucky that maya likes me, of all the girls here in rosewood. We are nearing her house and I can't help it but look on ali's house and see if hanna's car is there or something. No sign of her. I don't know if it's a good sign or bad.

We finally reach maya's house and stand on their porch. I have a perfect view of ali's house and can see if she is standing outside their door.

Maya hold my hand and said, "just remember em, I will always be here ok? and I...I love you." as she looks at me directly.

Oh my god. She said it. What do I say? I don't want to lie. I like her too. And I think I may also love her. I just don't know if it's enough for me to say it out loud. I still think maya is too perfect for me. I really don't know what to do. I know my feelings for ali has not been changed even a dot. Is it possible to love two person?

As I just stare right back at her lost at what to say or act. I notice she is looking at my eyes to my lips and know what she is thinking. She wants to kiss me. Shit. I want to kiss her too. What do I do? She is leaning in. Smiling. Our lips are only centimeters apart then she said it again.

"I love you emily."

I swear my heart just melted. Maya have the ability to say anything that can make my legs to jelly like form and make my heart do a thousand flips. So I just give in to my feelings and lean in too.

As we are millimeters apart I saw in the corner of my eyes someone is looking at us.

Alison dilaurentis.

Her expression is unbelievable. She looks destroyed, hurt, surprise, rage, sad, broken and mostly the look of being defeated. Ali never gets beaten to anything. And she is still the one I love. Does this mean she still have feelings for me?

I think I have been looking at ali for ages I didn't notice maya is looking also at ali. We didn't get to kiss. So that explains why all her emotions are shut out again and the most bitchiest expression of ali is out.

I cleared my throat and get the attention of maya.

"maya, I really really like you. But..." I think I don't need to finish my sentence for her. Maya already knows. Damn. Maya is about to cry. So I hug her and whispered, "I'm sorry, please forgive me."

"I will still wait for you." she answered me and motion me to leave now. I don't know if ali can hear what we are talking about but frankly I don't care. I care about maya and I don't want her to be angry to me. I want her to understand my feelings for her. And I know that she knows. For that I really think that maya is perfect.

* * *

**Maya POV**

My heart just been broken. Again. I don't know by how many times but it's been once again caused by emily fields. And what do I do about it? Nothing. I'm a fool when it comes to her and I know she loves me. She is just too damn confused when ali is around.

"Go now. I'm ok. Call me if your home already ok?" I said and peck her on the cheek. I let my lips stay on her cheek a little longer that was necessary and felt that emily pressed her skin more to me. Oh shit I'm in heaven. Then I let go. She smiled at me again and wave and walk away. I just smile foolishly. Lost at words for her action a while back. We should have shared our first kiss a while back if ali is not here.

Then someone spoke, "em, can we talk?" ali said that. She is following emily and trying to keep up with her. Wow. I didn't know I will see the day that ali is the one who will be chasing someone. I need to say it to her.

But then emily turns around and answers ali, "I'm not yet ready to talk." she is hugging herself again. More like protecting herself. Ali just looks at her understandingly and waved. Another wow. Emily has no idea how ali has fallen head over heels on her. Ali is letting her go. For now that is. Oh I guess that's a bad thing. As emily rounds on the corner ali turns her attention to me and no one else. She is advancing on me menacingly.

Where is the soft hearted ali now? But as usual I stand up straight and be like her. I'm confident and mysterious maya. Smiling like I know something.

"What the hell did you do to her?" ali shouts at me.

"I just keep her company this whole week. And for your information we are having so much fun, it might do much more do good things of you didn't return." I shout back. I don't care who she is. She is just alison and I'm just maya fighting for someone.

"Well too bad for you because I'm back and I'm never leaving emily's side again! I think I just saw something that can prove that your whole week is not enough to work your magic to her! She still wants me. Not you. And for your information I will never do another stupid thing that can make me lose her again!" oh god ali is scary. But I need to stand on my ground. And fire my last weapon.

"Oh are you sure? Have you ever told her what you really feel? Have you got the courage? You don't have a single ounce of sense to find her that day and say you're sorry! You just let her fall into me! And believe me that's the only thing I'm thankful that you did. I just told her I love her and I'm proud to say it out loud to anyone. Do you have enough courage to do that?" I'm fuming with anger but as I look at ali, I think I have done enough damage. She let slip her mask one half of a second and I can see that I have shot her straight. With that I leave her speechless and turns my back and return to my house.

* * *

**so...how was it? please review and tell me what you think!**

**by the way next chapter time to introduce new characters...i still want this to follow the real story...hope youre excited for it...**


	15. Chapter 14

**ok new chapter is up...and time to involve more characters! haha hope you find this interesting...**

**Being Jealous 14**

**Emily POV**

What the hell happened? As I do everything that my mom wants me to do and makes my way home, my mind is not resting from all that had happened.

When I saw ali I don't know what to do. God I want to hug her and tell her I miss her and I want her back. But I can't. I'm so damn confuse with my feelings. Maybe I might have prevented this if ali have texted or called me or something this whole week. But she didn't. That makes me fall harder to maya. And she has given me every reason to.

I need aria.

Oh shit. Toby cavanaugh. He is looking at me again from his room. He is so creepy. Ali said toby has a crush on me and he has been stalking me. So when I see him coming I should always be ready to avoid him. Toby hasn't done anything wrong to me yet but he has this weird vibe going on that he will not do something good. So I'm just glad to follow ali. Shit. I have been thinking of her again.

"He is so creepy."

Hey who said that? As I look at where the sound came from I saw hanna. Why is she here?

"You surprised me. How are you? How was it?" I asked her while I come forward and hug her. I missed hanna too. She is the one who always make funny remarks and being with spencer who is too serious and aria being always different, hanna is the one who makes the conversation funnier and enjoyable than usual. I miss laughing with her.

"It was good. It was nice to be protected by ali." hanna answered me while I'm too surprised to reply back. Wow.

"ali protected you from kate? Wow! That's good hanna! Tell me about it." I'm too surprised at what had happened to them.

"You know that's exactly my reaction too. But she did." then hanna tells me what had happened to them. How ali protected hanna from kate. How ali praised hanna. Which is a first as I can remember.

"That was wonderful hanna." I replied to her breathlessly when she finishes me telling all of it. It feels wonderful now that I know that ali let hanna see her different side. I know how ali likes hanna. Ali is just so stubborn to let hanna see how she cares for her.

"It really was nice. I never knew ali cares for me like that." hanna said while we are walking to our front porch. We sat on our sofa outside and asked hanna why is she really here. I believe she hasn't said her real reason why she is here.

"How are things between you and ali?" so this is the reason why hanna is here. Being alone with ali for a whole week had it's advantage.

"Were ok. You know were ok now. Right?" I lied. Ali will never tell hanna about us. That's not her thing.

"ems, do you know that you are a very crappy liar?" hanna is grinning like she knows something. Did ali said anything? No. Ali will not.

"Ok, I think alison will kill me but I just have to say this. Before you two lost each other and in my opinion that's no way to loose this kind of love." hanna is like preparing for a long speech. She inhaled deeply and continues,

"alison really really loves you. You just have to believe that. You know how ali is not used to showing her feelings right? How much more if it comes to love? We all know ali don't believe in true love. Then another complication is you are a girl. Ems, ali is in a very new situation. She is moving in a place she have no idea. Maybe that can explain her behavior last week. I know I don't have to say this for you to forgive her because I know you will. But I think you still need a little push." after that long speech from hanna, she smiled widely at me and I just look at her straight.

"How did you know and youre ok with all of this?" were the questions that firsts come in to my mind. Although there are a millions left.

"I'm alone with ali for a whole week and yes, I'm ok with all of this. Nothing is different to the two of you so why will I not be ok with this?" hanna hugged me and stand up readying herself to leave.

I just beam at her and whispered thank you. As I reflect on everything that hanna said to me, she have a point. A very big point for the explanation of the behavior of ali. This is all new to her. Although I'm also new with having someone, at least I know who I am. Ali doesn't know. It can really freak you out big time if you find yourself in love, let alone with a girl.

"Just talk to her. Ali might get crazy for thinking too much of you." I think that was a joke from hanna. Ali will not let herself get crazy. I laughed with that and hanna looked at me questioningly.

"I'm not joking ems. She has been thinking you non stop this whole week."

Shit. I have to deal my feelings with maya. Fast. Before ali change her mind.

* * *

**Alison POV**

It's Sunday morning. I haven't get to sleep last night. Why? It's because of one simple girl that I can't get out of my head. Emily Fields. I really really hate this. But I have to deal with this. I have to talk to emily now. Before I loose her to maya. So I fix myself to go to her house to clear everything.

After an hour, I'm on my way to emily's house. And got really surprised when I finally reach my destination. The fields are not here. Oh shit. Where the hell are they? Oh great I need to wait for another day. Wait, I will just wait later this evening. I know emily will go there. After everything that has happened she will be needing her.

"Hey, ali! Wanna hang out together?"

Jenna marshall. Ugh. This bitch is really annoying. Always trying to be cool and getting my attention.

"No." I answered shortly.

But the bitch is not leaving me. She is keeping up with me. What the hell did she want?

"I have new DVDs we can watch! My parents are out so we have the place to ourselves. You can also invite them if you like." jenna said. She really is desperate to be my friend. This is pathetic. So I turn around and face her.

"Stop it ok? You are pathetic and desperate. You are making me puke because your perfume stinks. And you are no one so why will I spare any attention or time to you? Just be friends with your equals. And believe me, you are nothing nowhere near me. Or even us." there. That's enough for her to stop. I hope that's enough for her to stop forever. She is so annoying. I don't feel any guilt. She is no one. She is not emily.

* * *

**Aria POV**

"hey aria!" oh good she is here.

"Hey ems! I start to think you will not be able to make it or something." as I hug my best friend.

"Don't worry, got back with plenty of time." we are now positioning ourselves from our talk. As usual because it's sunday evening. So many things had happened this last week; we have a lot to discuss. As I lay my head on her shoulder, emily is breathing deeply.

"Looks like you have something big going on in your mind ems." I grin at her. I bet it's because ali is back and she is now confuse because she is also falling to maya.

"I'm confuse aria. So confuse." emily answered just like I expected. Then she continues, "ali is back and I miss her like crazy. But I can't just accept her back because of maya. I can't just go back to being friends with maya."

"Hmm. Ems, do you still love ali?"

"Yes."

"What about maya?"

"I like her. I don't want to loose her. I want her always to be with me. I want her always close to me. She can do wonders for me that I never imagine I can experience. I don't want to hurt her."

Hmmm...looks like emily is having something on maya. Something much deeper than she knows. Usually that's answer is supposed to be on ali. This is interesting.

"It's not wrong to love two people emily. I mean I know you love ali and maya. Just differently right?" she nodded then I continue, "Just continue to love them as you do now. Then see where things might go."

"What happened to you aria?" emily asked me in a very questioning tone.

"What?"

"I mean what happen to your rage on ali? Are you saying I should forgive her? You told me last week to continue living without ali on my life. That I'm much better off without her." she finishes with a final snap on her hand.

I sigh and answered her, "do you really think you can live without ali?" come on ems. Who does emily think she is kidding? I know she is falling with maya but ali is a very big part of her personality and life. Emily can't cope without ali. Being a couple or not. Ali will still have a special place on emily whoever she will love. She will still have something special for ali.

Emily can't answer me. She knows what I'm saying so I just hug her. Emily just smiles weakly and turns to ask me about my week which is very boring. As usual my father is nowhere near the house but one slight improvement is he is with us on dinner. We had an unusual complete dinner.

"Well that's good aria. I know things will turn around for your dad and your family. So this explains why you are in a very good mood today." we grin at each other and just enjoy the night. Just enjoying the comfortable silence.

Then I can hear footsteps. Someone is coming.

What is she doing here?

"Hey"

Emily stands up so fast you will think she have been electrified or something. Well, this could be interesting. Looks like ali finally found the courage to talk to emily. And face my rage against her. I mean I know what I said earlier but I never said I have forgiven ali. I'm still angry at her. And by the looks of ali she knows and she don't care. She just cares about emily. As usual. Which makes my anger goes down a bit.

"ali, what are you doing here?" emily asked ali.

"Can we talk now?" ali said without beating the bush as usual.

I hold emily's hand and protect her from ali. Then I answered her, "how did you know she is here?"

"We have been friends for year's aria, it's not a secret you have these talk every Sunday evening. Right?" ali is still a bitch. I thought going to hanna and spend time with her, she may loosen up a little. But she is still the same.

I just look at emily and ask her silently if she can handle it now. I can see in her eyes she is still confused but slowly coming to a decision.

She answered me with a determined stare and said to ali, "yes." looks like emily is battling herself to run to ali and hug her.

"I will walk you home." if ali can just close her eyes and can't hear anything I bet emily will jump and scream and ask me if she heard right. If this continues emily might change ali. Big time.

I hugged emily and whispered, "you heard right. I'm still angry at her but she is still your alison. Call me." and emily hugged back with a smile. I can't deny it. Ali is really a bitch but when it comes to emily she really is a very different person and also I can't deny that ali really love her. This is the proof.

* * *

**Alison POV**

We are walking now and taking the longest way to their house. This will allow us much longer time to talk. Although I have spend the entire day thinking what we have to talk about, now that were here in this situation everything is nowhere to be found. I can't think of a single thing to say.

We are now on a darker alley that emily hates when were taking this way. The lights here are always broken. So I hold her hands and make her feel protected. It's a good thing the moon is very bright tonight. I'm also afraid but I have to be brave for the both of us.

Suddenly emily stopped and looked at me.

"You want the talk to happen here? Are you sure ems?" I ask her. I think this place is not that suitable for talking.

"ali I miss you so much."

"Oh" is the only thing I have time to say because emily is hugging me so much. So much I can practically say we are glued forever but no complains for me. I miss her too. So much I'm going crazy. Hanna knows that. I kind of told her I miss emily and my plan and I think all my insecurities. She is a very good friend.

As we break up the hug, her hands still on my waist and she is looking  
at me in a very confused way.

"Why? What's bothering you?" I ask her concernedly. Please don't tell me it's maya. Please.

"I just missed you. That's it."

"No. I know it's not just that ems. It's...someone else. Right?" I need to know if she is still into me. Because I'm still very much into her.

* * *

**Emily POV****  
**  
Shit. What will I answer? I just took a deep breathe and think about this really quick. I close my eyes to buy me some thinking time.

I still want ali. I still want her attention. I still want to see ali's imperfection deep inside.

"No. Maya is just a very close friend." I replied to her finally after a minute of silence. When I look at ali, she is still looking at me full of doubt on what I said.

"She is still a friend. Nothing happened when you are gone."

"What about I saw last night?" ali ask me in return.

"There is nothing more on what you saw." I replied to her truthfully. Nothing really happened. Just a couple of holding hands and some hugs. They don't mean anything. They just felt right. So right. So what does that mean? Maya once told me that I need to stop analyzing things and just enjoy them fully. Maybe I should just do like that and just enjoy every moment.

"Am I forgiven?" ali is not removing her hands on my waist too. We are holding each other on the waist like we are dancing. Looking into each others eyes.

"Tell me the truth ems. Do what really feels right for you. Just be yourself and tell me what you really feel. I will do anything to be forgiven." she tells me again to just be myself. What am I really feeling now? I want to kiss her.

As I lean in, she smiles and moves her hands from my waist to my back and pulls me closer to her. The blissful sensation is back. Everything stops and nothing exists anymore. Just the two of us. Our lips moving in perfection. Not wanting to break the kiss.

After a few years or so I thought, something moved then a car passes by on the other end of the alley. We suddenly broke our kiss and look for someone but there is no one there. Ali could have killed the person who is driving the car that passes by. I can't help but let a little giggle escape my mouth but I cover it up quickly with my hand.

"What?" she asks me with a grin on her face. Knowing what am I smiling for.

"You look so disappointed." now I can barely form words. Ali's expression is so surprised and desperate for the kiss at the same time a while back. I never thought I can see ali use those expression.

She just pokes my arm playfully and said, "I told you this is not the place to talk." I just laugh at that being disappointed too that we have to break the kiss that way.

So ali look back at me all calm and pure love can be seen on her eyes.

"you're not wearing you're mask ali."

"I don't have to. I know you will still accept me even though you can see I'm not that perfect as everyone seems to think about me." ali answered me while we continue our walk home, hands intertwined together. Perfectly.

* * *

**so...how was it? any ideas?**

**by the way thank you for all the excellent reviews! you all keep me going!**


	16. Chapter 15

**hi guys! sorry for the super late update...anyways...im back..hope youre still interested with this...seeing that emily is now looking like she have a new partner...**

**enough of this and lets continue...please enjoy!**

**Being Jealous 15**

**Emily POV****  
**

"someone is in a very good mood." aria's way of saying good morning. Hanna is also there and she is smiling also in a knowing look. Does hanna know that aria knows too? Now I think about it only spencer doesn't know about us. But it's ali's decision if she wants spencer on the secret too.

I didn't answer them, instead I just smile and fix my things for the class ahead. As hanna and aria ignore me I relive the last nights event.

_After the sudden break of our kiss, we continue our walk and ali told me everything that had happened when she was with hanna. Everything, including the part hanna didn't mention, on how she knows about the two of us. Although I can sense she didn't tell me one thing. When I ask her about it she said it's something between the two of them. And I accept that. We also have secrets._

_I thought I'm doing a great job at pretending I didn't know that she protected and confesses to hanna, but I was so wrong._

_As we get inside our house, ali made an excuse to my mom that she forgot something on my room so that we can still continue our conversation, we sat on the edge of my bed and she said, "wow ems, you really don't know how to lie do you?"_

_I just look at her dumbfounded and she continued, "hanna told you. Don't worry I'm not mad at her. She didn't tell you everything. Am I right?" I just nodded. Still surprised that she found out just by looking at me._

_"You are so beautiful ems." then she leans in for a kiss. The kiss was supposed to make up for the one on the alley but it's been too short because a while ago, a car broke that kiss but this time it's my mom knocking. Asking if ali wants some cookies she baked. My mom do have the most annoying timings. As we broke the kiss suddenly, grateful that my mom is very polite because she knocked, Ali is very irritated again but quickly regains her composure on answering my mom. As soon as my mom closes the door she looks at me and reaches for my hand, pulls me closer and cups my face for a more passionate kiss. Her hands are all over my back trying to get me much closer. My hands are on her neck and hair. This is the most intense make out we had. But still were not breaking up. This feels so good. Everything is nothing and it's just the two of us again. The blissful sensation is not going away. But needing to breathe we broke up and she hugs me and buried her face on my neck. Putting light kisses on my neck. Damn. What the hell is ali doing to me. I instinctively arched my neck for her to have better access and she uses it. After a few millenniums of just being the two of us, the world is coming back. I saw the clock on my side table it's really late now. Then I gave an involuntary "oh"._

_She stops at what she's doing and looks at me. "Why? Are you uncomfortable?" she ask me seriously._

_"no no no. It's just the time. It's late ali. We have school tomorrow."_

_Ali just gave me a don't-care look but she said she needs to go home. I gave her a quick kiss before we go out of my room. Her hand is still lingering on my fingers as I walk her out the door. Before she walks away, she whispers "thank you, you have no idea what you are doing to me."_

"ems, the class is over." hanna is getting my attention by snapping her hands in front of me and aria is shaking me slightly. We are the only ones left on the class. Oh my god.

"Yes ems, oh my god because you just zone out the whole entire class." hanna is saying it between giggles.

She is so right. As we head out of the class, still laughing at what I did.

* * *

**Alison POV**

"hey ali! Class is over." shit. I have been zoning in and out of the class for this whole morning. Good thing spencer is backing me up whenever the teacher is asking me. Why am I so out of it? Emily fields. Who else?

As we meet up for lunch and saw emily and hanna already at our table, I quicken my pace and shot straight through my girl. But someone bumped into me.

Jenna marshall.

"We need to talk." she said to me in a full piercing eye contact. Who does jenna think she is? I am alison and don't just talk to anybody. So I just ignore her and give her my bitchiest face.

My bad mood vanishes instantly as I saw concern on emily's face and put up a bright smile.

"What happened there?" hanna ask first.

"Nothing. It's just what's her name again?" I laugh and pretend I don't know jenna. Emily and hanna laugh too. I know I'm becoming mean again but who cares. So I just focus my attention on the girl seating beside me. And gave her, her meal for the day.

"Ooh, you guys are so sweet!" hanna squealed.

"Shut up han." concealing my smile. And I know she is not offended. As spencer and aria arrives too, spencer quickly shares them what happened on my morning classes.

"Hey ali, glad you're here with us." spencer's idea of a joke. I just gave her a nod and a stiff smile.

"Why? What happened?" aria quickly ask. Ugh. I think I know where this is going. But I will let it happen. I want emily to know.

"ali is zoning out the whole morning classes and I keep on needing to wake her up every time the class is over. Can you believe that?" spencer is really laughing now.

"You know I don't pay attention to class smarty pants." I retort annoyingly. But deep inside I was smiling. Emily just gave me a briefest glance, surprised that I was out of it. Guessing from the looks of hanna and aria, emily is too.

"Trust us spence, she is not the only one." as hanna said that she gave me a knowing look then a glance at emily. I am now laughing because of the confused face of spencer. She still has no idea what's happening. And I plan on keeping it that way. Four people knowing is too much.

* * *

**Maya POV**

Glad school is over. I have been trying to purposely run into emily throughout the day and talk to her. Especially after lunch. I have been eyeing the five of them from afar and I can see that emily and ali are back to normal now. So that means me and emily is hanging. Again. I'm so jealous of the two of them.

Why the hell can emily accept the fact that she likes ali but can't do that to me? I am a much better option than ali! I have shown her what I can do to her and I believe she have feelings for me too. I bet aria can see that too. But why the hell is not aria telling emily that? She is still letting emily go with ali.

I was so absorbed with my thoughts I didn't notice I'm on the hallway where emily's locker is. There she is. As usual she is late on their usual meetup before going home.

I'm just standing on the middle of the hallway, just staring at her. Then she noticed me and gave me the sweetest smile I have ever seen from her. Shit. I can't believe ali can make emily smile like this. She is so beautiful. So radiant and happy.

"Hey maya! What's up?" she comes near me and walk to the side so that we can talk without blocking the way.

"Hi ems!" I greet back as cheerful as I can be. I really do have a very good liar face. I took a deep breathe and said, "Can we talk somewhere more private?" I open the empty classroom nearest to us. She just looks at me questioningly but I just motion her inside.

As I close the door she spoke at once, "why maya? Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing is wrong I just want to ask something." I said calmly.

"Oh good. Can it be fast? Ali is waiting for me on her locker. So is the other girls." emily's voice is much happier now. Damn.

"Uh sure. How are you now? Is you and ali kind of back to normal?" I ask finally. She give me a questioningly look and answer me,

"yes, I kind of forgive her yesterday. She walk me home from aria's house" she is kind of looking at me guiltily. Ok that's good. At least she knows where I'm coming from.

"I know I said I will not force you to decide or anything but can I just know where am I now?" she just looks at me questioningly so I continue, "I mean where does this leaving me? Now that you and ali are ok again."

She just stares at me. Not knowing what to answer. I can almost hear her mind working an answer.

"maya, me and ali are just friends. Yes I love her but she doesn't return those feelings to me."

"How about us? Me and you? What are we?" I know I'm being pushy but it's not right for emily to leave me hanging. I can accept if she can't still be with me because she is not yet ready but for a reason like this? She is still hoping that ali can love her. Totally not acceptable.

"I don't know maya. I'm not yet ready."

"Ready for what? Ready for a full relationship or to give up your love on ali?" this is the real question that will make or break us.

"Please maya don't let me choose between the two of you." she begs me in a voice that's so tiny.

"I'm not letting you choose. I just want to know where I am. Will I still wait for you or am I just gonna accept the fact that you can't love me like you love her." I look at her straight. Trying to read her face.

She took a deep breathe and said, "I like you maya and I already said that to you. I don't want to loose you but I'm sorry. I'm not yet ready to give up on ali. Can we just be friends for now?"

My heart has just bursted into tiny pieces. She is still not letting ali go. Ali still has a tight grip on emily. I didn't got hold of her while ali was away. I'm just fooling myself. She still wants ali. She is not confused with her feelings. It's always alison.

"ali will just hurt you. Believe me. I don't want to be involved with you while you are with ali and still hoping she will return your love. But I will be here. Ready whenever you need someone. For now I need to go." I told her forcefully. Holding my tears that are threatening to fall. I just wipe emily's tears and let my hand stay in her cheek. She leans in on my hands while her eyes are close. Looking like she needs the contact. Shit. I have to be strong. I need to go away from her. For now.

"maya please don't go away. I need you." she pleads with me and she moves in for a hug but I deflected it. I made a move to get out but stop myself as I reach the doorknob and looks at the girl I love. This is tearing me apart but she can't leave me like this. She can't have both of us. Especially I know that ali loves emily too. Ali is just a coward.

If emily can just be friends with ali I will not leave her. But she still wants more. She still doesn't want me.

"maya please don't do this."

"I have to." and I open the door and leave the girl I love. As I walk out the school I promise to myself. I will keep an eye out to emily and ready myself by the second she needed me. I can't let emily just go like that. I will wait. I know we are the one for each other.

* * *

**Alison POV**

Where the hell is she? We have been talking nonsense here for 15 minutes and still no sign of emily. I was getting pissed now. And a little worried. What if maya talked to her and did something to her?

"Hey is emily still coming?" hanna ask me.

"I will look for her. I'll just text you guys ok?" aria said that and she gave me a meaningful glance which means the text statement is just for me. I just gave a shrug and closed my locker and walked out of school with hanna and spencer beside me. Please let emily be ok.

I made a lame excuse to spencer so that we will not be walking home together so just that I will be alone. Shit. I just checked my phone for the hundredth time and still no text from aria. I also texted emily asking where is she. Still nothing. I took a deep breath and think positive. Maybe emily just got held by a detention or some lame teacher.

"hey ali!"

Is that jenna marshall? When did she learn and have the courage to stand up to me like this? She is in front of me and had her arms crossed. Smiling smugly. Like she's hiding something. What the hell?

But still I'm alison so I just ignore her and walk pass by her. Didn't acknowledge her presence or something.

"We need to talk ali."

I stopped from walking and face her.

"What part of don't-talk-to-me you don't understand?" I said to her reaching my boiling point, from being worried and all the things I have been thinking. I'm easy to get angry.

"You need to hear what I need to say. Or if not, your life will turn upside down." jenna said out loud. What the hell is she saying? I want to just ignore her and continue to find emily but curiosity is holding me back. Plus this bitch is annoying thinking she knows something. I need to play this cool so that she will tell me her secret or whatever this is.

"What do you want?" I shout at her. Jenna smiled triumphantly and steps a little closer to me.

"I need you to do something for me." that smile of her is really pissing me off.

"Uh, earth to jenna! Do you know who I am? Who do you think you are that you can just ask me something like that?" matching her smug expression and crossing my arms as well.

"I am the person who knows your whole secret." she said quietly. I almost didn't hear her. This can't be happening. She is bluffing. Nobody knows that. Every one of us makes sure no one knows about it. Especially me.

She comes closer and whispers my secret to me. I just can't move. How did she know this? This can't be happening.

"Now, about the things you should do for me. I think you have no way out of this one." I just nodded. Without emotion or any registering what she said. I need to think a way out this one.

As she is telling me what to do and what will happen if I don't do it. I just nod completely and let her do all the talking. I can't get over the fact that she knows. No one should know about this.

Wait, is jenna really like me to do that? Oh come on! I don't need to worry anymore. This is easy to get out of.

Just wait jenna marshall. I will get back to you. No one messes with alison dilaurentis that got away.

* * *

**got any ideas where this will go? trust me...something will be changed...and that change will be the most important part of this story...**

**any reviews? comments?**


	17. Chapter 16

**Being Jealous 16**

**Aria POV****  
**  
"maya! Hey wait up!" she turns and waved at me and smile. She stopped walking and waits for me to catch up.

"What's up aria?" she asked me. Why am I talking to her? Because of emily of course.

I found emily on the gyms girls locker room and she is just staring to nowhere. At first glance I immediately knew that something is wrong. She never misses a chance to see alison. Even though they are not okay, she still see alison and still do whatever she wants. But all that is before maya came into her life.

"Hey em." I said cautiously.

She just looked at me and shook her head and said in a very small voice, "I lost maya."

"What em? Why? What happened?" I said to her as I hug her and her body shook from sudden crying. I just let her cry for a while and wait for her. After a minute or so she's now ready to talk.

She tells me everything that had happened. The way maya ask about their relationship, and how maya cannot be just friends with her. Not when she is still hoping for ali.

I personally don't blame maya for what she did. She is right. It's not right for emily to leave maya hanging like that. Especially now she knows maya loves her. But I can't blame emily too for still hanging on to ali because I know ali loves her too. Although now that I thought about it, maya doesn't know that. Maya is really fighting a loosing battle here.

As I try to look at emily straight and saw her face, I immediately erased the thought that maya is loosing. Emily will not be this devastated if she doesn't feel anything for maya. Maybe emily loves maya too. Or not.

"Damn, where's ali? Is she mad at me for ditching you guys?" she immediately stands up and grabs her things.

"Whoa! Slow down em! It's ok. I got you. Just talk to ali later ok? We have to sort you out first." I grab her hand and let her sit beside me. She sat and let out a sigh. "Now ems, tell me. Are you ok about this?"

"No. Maya doesn't want to be my friend and that sucks." she leans on my shoulder and it's kind of an awkward position since she is much taller than me but it's ok.

"maya does have a point you know. You just can't keep her hanging like that." I answered her. I know she doesn't like that but she needs to hear the truth.

"It's just so good to have maya close to me that I don't want her to vanish on my life. I love her as a friend." she tilts her head and looked at me.

I just nodded. I understand her dilemma but I said on her, "maya will come around. Don't worry." I said assuring her. She just needs to understand that emily and ali's relationship is beyond just friendship or romance.

So that's the reason why I'm here standing in front of maya. She needs to know that.

"Uh, heard about you and em. And I'm sorry about that." I fiddled with my hand because I am so nervous. If it weren't emily is my bestfriend I will not do this.

"Oh, about that, can I ask you something?" maya twirls her fingers on her hair. Oh she is nervous too. So I just nodded and she continues. "Why are you letting emily still go with ali even though you know ali will just hurt her?"

Right. She asks the same thing I want to talk to her about it. So now I got my chance.

"maya, you have to understand that emily and ali's relationship is not only for romance and friendship. Yes, emily love ali and she doesn't but emily depends way too much on ali."

"Well maybe emily needs to stop depending on ali too much and stand on her own." maya is kind of raising her voice and I can sense she is trying really hard not to shout. Thank god for that. I don't want any shouting match.

"ali brings out the best on emily. Have you ever seen emily defended ali?" I asked her.

"Yes, once or twice. Why?"

"emily doesn't stand up to people. She is too sweet to speak ill of people and defends herself for that matter. But doing that for ali she is learning to defend herself too. For alison's situation, emily made her tone down her bitch attitude big time." I try to explain everything that's on my mind but seems it is still not enough.

"You're just making it worse aria. You're saying to me that they are perfect for each other because they make each other a better person." she said sadly and shaking her head, as if in defeat.

"No! Yes! I mean." god this is hard to explain. Maya just looked at me and waits for my explanation.

"What I'm trying to say is, if you keep ali out of emily's life you will just keep emily running from you and into ali's hands. If you really love her, just let her go with ali. Although not entirely because like you I believe that ali will just hurt her again. But have you seen emily's smiles? They are so genuine. So radiant and it's just pure joy. Can you take that away from her?" I finished my speech and can't keep from thinking that it is still not enough.

Maya is just shaking her head. As if trying not to absorbed everything that I had said. Then she said, "no, aria I can't just be friends with emily."

"I'm not telling you to become just friends. I just want you to understand the relationship of alison and emily. That they are beyond romance and friendship. Ali have different kind of relationship to each of us. And she once said to us when she picks the four of us to be her new friends, only on emily she doesn't have a clear reason why she chose her. She just does. Emily needed ali and so does ali needing emily. It doesn't matter if they are a couple or not. They each have special places on their lives that no one can change. Please just understand that." there I guess I said it all.

"I still don't get it." maya is still not accepting it or it's just really plain complicated. Well I can't blame her.

"Just watch the both of them and see their relationship. You will understand." I smile and gave her a hug then I took off. I know she will see what I'm saying about the two of them. It's too obvious. But hard to explain.

* * *

**Emily POV****  
**  
It's lunch time and we are already sitting at our usual table just waiting for aria to arrive. And so far it's not fun. Hanna and spencer keeps making conversation but ali is just so out of herself it's not working. She even forgets to bring our food so I just got some from here and maybe that's the reason ali is not eating.

What keeps me puzzled is ali have never asked me once what happened to me yesterday. That is super strange for her. Although we had talked to each other last night through phone, it is still not enough. This is not typical ali. Something is bothering her and I can't keep from worrying for her.

"Hey ali!"

Ali just looks at the guy and shook her head. Then of course I took over.

"She's not in the mood so can you just come back in another time?" I told the unknown guy in the politest way I can say it. I maybe always with ali but I can never be mean.

The guy just looks at me with a smug smile. "then maybe you can just solve my problem ems. I needed a date. You're single right?"

Ok. That did it. Ali comes alive from those words and just looked at the guy looking like she can kill the guy but before she can get one single word out, toby cavanaugh bumps the guy.

"Hey! Watch where you're going freak!" I think toby did that on purpose. And also I think they will start a fight. Good thing toby just keeps his head down and back off. God he is really weird. But that did the trick. The guy just left us alone. Probably because we are all giving him a look that says you're-weird. Oh on second thought only me is giving that look because spencer, hanna and ali is giving him a death glare.

* * *

**Alison POV****  
**  
I am so out of myself this whole day that I haven't paid any attention the whole day. It's much worse when I dream about emily. Why? Because what's bothering me is much much worse than being in love.

Although there is nothing better to wake me up from my slumber than someone is flirting with my emily. All the worries and anxiety that I have been feeling for the whole day is threatening to come out. I could have killed that guy. No one asks my girl especially if she is in front of me. I am so ready to fend off the guy but toby beat me to it.

Wait. I think I know the answer on my problems. But I need to be careful and don't give anything away. And yes this is the best solution. I just need to know something.

Finally the school is over and as I walk to spencer's locker I saw toby cavanaugh near spencer's locker talking to some guy. I can't keep him off my mind. Not in a romantic way. That's gross. It's just about my plan. I really need to pull this off.

"Hey ali" oh I'm right in front of spencer now. Didn't notice it. But of course I didn't act like that. The mask is never off here in the school. Nobody should be able to read me other than emily. My reputation and image is everything to me. I am the alison dilaurentis and I'm fabulous and nobody should ever forget that here in rosewood. I will not let anyone take that away from me.

I have worked my reputation for a long time so I will not just give it up to some girl who wants my attention this badly.

"ali! Snap out of it!" hanna aria and emily is already here. And hanna is the one snapping her hands to me.

Shit. I got to stop being so out of myself.

* * *

**Emily POV****  
**  
Why the hell is alison acting like this? Ever since I did a no show at them yesterday she hasn't talked to me in her usual way. Is she mad at me? Because the three definitely is not. But I think she isnt. There is bothering her more seriously. And I need to find out about it fast.

I let her past this time but I will ask her about it when I walk her home tonight. Or not.

"Bye everyone. Got to dash." ali suddenly told us. What? I will not walk her home?

"Hey where are you going? You're not going to watch me in my swim meet?" I suddenly burst out. I have been looking forward on her watching me and somehow at least have one more cheerer. Aside from aria of course.

Ali looks uncomfortable. She forgets I have my swim meet today. But she recovers and suddenly said, "of course I will watch you! I just need to do something. But I will be there. Ok ems?" she took my hand and squeezes it a little. Assuring me that she will come. Of course I believe her. The butterflies on my stomach just came alive at her slightest touch.

As I watch her walk away, I can't help but feel very worried. Although I know she will try her best to come, I have a feeling she will not going to make it.

"ems, ali will come. Don't worry." aria sooths my back. Am I that obvious?

"What's her deal anyway? She is nowhere with us the whole day." spencer said.

"I know. I can't help but be worried about her." I said out loud instantly. I guess I shouldn't have spoken that. Because they all just give me a knowing look that plainly says we-all-know-it-you-don't-have-to-say-it.

"Uh it's all right there at your face em. Anyways good luck on your swim meet." hanna said with a smile as she and spencer make their goodbyes.

"Well looks like it's just you and me ems. Come on. You will be late in winning your meet." aria said as she hooks her arms with mine and walk down the hallway.

"Hey! Don't. I'm nervous enough." I said in a little voice. Aside from worrying on ali I am also very nervous about this meet.

"Well then I think I know how I can make you a little less nervous." aria said with a mysterious smile. As she led me down the hall.

As we are about to make the corner to the gym I saw someone leaning to the wall humming. Maya.

I look at aria with my eyes ready to pop out then aria just nods her head towards the girl who is still humming cluelessly.

I ran to maya and almost hug her but I stopped because of the way she is looking at me. Like I'm a maniac or crazy or something.

She smiles at me softly then wave at aria who in return smile back and points inside the gym. She really is my best friend.

"So I assume ali is nowhere here." maya said in a matter of fact tone.

"Yes. But she said she will try to be here before I get to swim." I regretted saying that because her smile instantly turns into a frown.

"Oh. Right. Don't worry. I'm just here to watch. Anybody can watch right?" she asked me innocently. I laugh with that and we headed inside for me to get ready.

As I was getting inside our locker room maya stop me by holding my wrist gently and made me face her.

"I will still do what I told you yesterday. I still need time to accept this. So just please. Bear with me." then she left me alone as she made her way straight to aria. Leaving me again just like she did yesterday. But at least she is here to watch. Not unlike alison.

* * *

**Alison POV****  
**  
It's been almost two hours since I left the school. I really really need to get back to school in time for emily's meet. As I look at my watch, I saw I still have 15 minutes to do everything and dash back to school. Right. If I can do that then I'm superhuman.

What am I doing? Stalking toby cavanaugh. Why? I need to know something.

As I stay hidden on their overgrown bushes near toby's tree house I can sense he is not the only one in there. Someone is with him. A girls voice. Is that jenna? What is she doing there? I didn't know that the two step siblings are close in any way.

I creep more quietly nearer to the foot of the tree to hear what they are talking about. Their voices are kind of muffled. I still can't understand them. God this is such a ridiculous position I'm in. I will die if someone who knows me can see me in this position. Although thinking about that, everybody in rosewood knows me. And that doesn't make this easy.

I stop worrying about my position and focused on muffled voices above me. This time I can understand toby's voice.

"I'm not sure I want to do this anymore jenna."

"Come on toby. Stop whining. I know you like me too."

Silence. Then voices again. After ten minutes of them arguing, the voices changes and starts to be more muffled again. More like they are whispering. Then I stopped listening because I can't believe on what I'm hearing. As I retreated on their backyard to leave I saw toby standing with no shirt on but only for half second because he is gone on the next half.

I have seen enough. I need to go. I think I'm gonna be sick.

As I try to get away from toby and jenna's house in a half run and half walk, emily's mom saw me, pam fields. Of course I can't ignore her so I put my mask on and be as calm as I can muster. Which is pretty easy. I'm good at things like this.

"Hello alison! What are you doing here? Emily is not yet home. She still have her swim meet right?" as pam hugs me for a polite gesture.

"Hi mrs. Fields. Oh nothing. I just did some errands for my mother. But I'm going back to school to see if I can still watch emily." I smile sweetly at her.

"Take care then dear. And send my good luck to my daughter. I bought all this food for her celebration I know she will win something tonight. You're invited ok?" as she excuses herself and walk pass me to get to their house which is just the other side. A couple of houses away from the cavanugh's. I just smiled at her and silently accepted her invitation.

My mind is working overtime. So many ideas is running through my mind. But one idea keeps on sticking to my head. And the longer I thought about it the more perfect it sounds. So I went with it.

When I reach the school I already knew that the meet is over. People are walking from one direction. From the gym. Shit. I didn't get to see her. I didn't get to support her. But I will make it up to her.

I maneuver my way through the crowd and find emily or aria. I know they are together. And yes! They there are.

"ems! Aria!" I shout and miraculously emily heard me. Or rather sensed that I'm here. I shot emily my best smile but I think I don't need it. She is smiling to me like she is not angry. Good thing I didn't upset her.

"ali! You're here! I thought you will really bail on me." I hugged her tight. More than was necessary for just friends hug. But I don't care. I want to make her feel I'm sorry and I'm proud of her for winning.

Then my smile froze as I break up the hug. I saw maya standing close to us. Very awkward if you ask me since the last time we talked is in a shouting match.

But I think I don't care, emily just have eyes for me. As she tells me what happened on her meet and I'm not letting her hand go, mind you. I don't care if a lot of people is staring at us. At least I think I have enough reason to be affectionate like this with her in public. She is my best friend and she just won. Right?

"ems, I think I have the perfect plan for your victory party! I mean you won the overall division again. Broke a record and forgives me for not watching you so I think you deserve a reward." I said to her while aria is on her other side. Nodding to what I'm saying. I don't know where maya is and frankly I don't care.

"And that plan is?" emily asked me with those very beautiful eyes staring through me. I swallowed a lump in my throat and I guess some butterflies too since there are a lot of them on my stomach. This is always my reaction whenever emily looks at me like this. Like she want me so bad.

"Sleepover. On your house. Friday. We will celebrate till the break of dawn."

"Yes! We haven't done together things for a long time." aria piped in and I just smiled. She's right. We haven't done anything together for a long time.

"Then sleepover it is!" emily pumped her fist on the air and the three of us leave the school happily giggling to each other. Just like best friends should do.


	18. Chapter 17

**hey guys...still reading this? anyways...heres an update...hope youre still up for this...**

**Being Jealous 17**

**Alison POV****  
**  
Alright. My plan is now in motion. As I see it, this should be the easy part.

It's friday morning and we are all excited for our sleepover later. Although spencer at first, kind of doubts why I had suddenly wanted a sleepover but I finally managed to convince her that the sleepover is for emily's win. She just smirked at me. Like she knows something. I don't care. She doesn't know anything. The real reason behind this sleepover.

As we meet up on emily's locker I can't help but be anxious about this. I just hope everything gets work out as I plan. And this will all depend on toby.

* * *

**Emily POV**

"there she is!" hanna said while pointing to ali. I flash my best smile to her and got one in return. Shit. I can't help but feel my legs turn into jelly.

"Hey guys! Excited?" ali said to us as she makes her way to me and holding my arm. Wow. Ali is in a very good mood. She just does this if she is very happy or she is nervous about something but hiding it. I think the first one is more appropriate. I mean this sleepover is for me. Right? And she like me. Hmm she haven't told me anything like that now that I think about it. But we shared enough kisses for me to assure myself she have something on me too. Wait, I can't just rely on that. Shit. Why can't just ali tell me that so I can hold on to something?

My thoughts are interupted because of the sudden burst of laughters from something that hanna said and of course I joined in even though I have no idea what it is.

"Hey guys, remember this is for emily. Ok?" I just blushed on ali. She said that and I can't believe that she's really doing this all for me. As we go outside the school and make our way to our house, we are laughing like freaks and really look like the best friends we are. I can't help but feel proud because every student is turning to check us out. As alison called us, we are the "IT" group of rosewood high.

The three of them are leading again and the two of us is just listening behind. Alison is holding my hand again but I can't help feeling that there is something wrong. She is not that relax and her smile is not exactly reaching her eyes that make her light blue eyes shine extra brighter. If that's even possible. She keeps on looking from left to right as if she is looking for someone.

"Hey are you ok?" I ask her in a very worried voice. "You look jumpy." I added.

"What?" she looks at me with a daze look on her face. I just look at her straight and let her know she is not fooling me.

We are near our house now and she looks somewhere on the other side and releases the best smile I have seen from her this whole day.

She looks at me straight and answered "never better." with that best smile still on her face, she squeeze my hand in a reassuring way. And of course I believe her.

Good thing my mom is not home. She specifically said she will leave the house for us to have some privacy but will be back before midnight so that we will have some companion. We entered our house and alison took the lead as we all make ourselves comfortable.

"Ok guys! Let's start this sleepover for emily and for the rest of us!" as ali turns the volume from my speaker to full blast. She gets up and tug my hand for me to stand up and dance with her. Oh my god alison is so sexy and she is way too close for anyone to see that we are not just friends. But then she moves on from me to hanna still keeping that closeness. This is going to be a long night. I know it. She will kill me with those sexy stares and little teases all night.

* * *

**3rd Person**

The party is in full swing. The music is loud, all the girls are tired from dancing and eating so they go to emily's room and tried every clothes that emily has. So far that has been a short entertainment for them because of the lack of supplies from emily's closet.

"Seriously ems, is this all the clothes you have?" hanna ask in bewilderment.

Emily, being shy, just looked at ali and nodded.

"ems, you are in need of some serious shopping!" aria said and all of them agrees. Emily has no choice but just to agree and laugh at how clothes are such a serious matter to her best friends.

As ali tried on a colored blouse that emily secretly liked on her, ali looks at emily with a knowing smile as she poses for the mirror knowing full well that she is giving the girl she likes what she wants and that makes ali very happy. Somehow eases the tension she is feeling the whole day.

Hanna saw the exchange of knowing looks from her two friends and she just smiled also. Fully know how ali feels about emily.

In just half a second after that exchange of sneaky glances, alison saw something on the window through the mirror and shouted, "I can see you!"

Then ali run from in front of the mirror straight to the windows. Looking for someone.

"What is it ali?" emily ask in a very concerned voice. Everyone has.

"I'm so crept out! He is on the three spying on us!" ali answered in almost a shout.

"Who is it ali?" spencer asked.

"It's that perv toby cavanaugh." answered ali.

"Are you sure?" aria said just to be sure.

"Yes! He was right there! I bet he saw us all naked!" ali replied fast to all of them.

"Should we tell someone?" aria ask. All four of them are now afraid.

"We could. But I have a better idea." ali said with a very mischievous smile. Like she have something on her mind. The four of them just exchanged glances. All looking for a desperate reason for ali not to proceed to what she is thinking.

Everything is quiet except for the fireworks that have been on the air for a celebration of something on town.

"Are you sure no one is in there?" aria asks for five times since ali decided this whole thing.

"Yes! No one is here. Spence, you have the lighter right?" alison said with determination. As of now everything is according to what she is planning. She just hopes it will stay the same throughout the night.

As the five of them creeps slowly to toby cavanaugh's house. Emily looses the nerve first.

"Wait!"

"What is it emily?" ali replied, clearly she is annoyed now.

"I don't want to do this." emily replied in tiny voice.

"Ok. Go back. You're on your own ems." alison said determinedly pointing back to her house. She doesn't want the girls to be involve here but she have no choice. Especially emily. So she silently willed emily to go back to their house. Be safe.

"Ok, maybe emily is right. We should just call the cops and let them sort this out." aria said as she tries to protect her best friend and avoiding a fight from ali.

"Where's the fun in that?" ali smirks and just look at all of them. Challenging them all. Always dragging them to do that's against their will but knows that if they didn't do it, ali will drop them from their group.

The four of them just look at each other helplessly. They know once alison set her mind onto something nothing they said can change it. Even emily.

"Girls, toby cavanaugh is a freak. If he thinks he can just take a peek when we are on your bedroom emily, we need to let him know that his little domain is no longer safe. I mean who knows what's he's doing when he is not in his hideout." alison said trying to convince them at the least.

"Are you sure it's toby?" spencer said in one last attempt to discourage ali.

But ali is still determined to do this. She has to. She has no choice. "Yes! And it's just a stink bomb! For god's sake. We're not nuking the place! Now let's do it." alison said in a shout.

Alison is the only one who comes near the house. The four is very close to each other. As ali comes nearer she said to spencer, "give me the lighter."

With a sigh of surrender, spencer gave in and gave the lighter to ali.

The four of them stay closer to each other. Afraid of what's going to happen but much more afraid of alison. Alison lights up the stink bomb and opens the door, checks if no one is there and drops the stink bomb somewhere on the floor.

After a second look of the house, she saw something, or more like someone.

The girls saw alison flinch from something she saw inside but before they could react, ali instructs all of them to run as she scrambles herself to run. Away from the house, away from what she saw.

* * *

**Emily POV****  
**  
Run. Run. Run. That's the only thing on my mind right now. What the hell happened? As we run for our lives and reach the side of their house, something exploded. Big time.

The five of us just turns around instinctively to see where the explosion came from, although we have a clear expectation where.

We are totally speechless. I am terrified of what we did. My body just went numb and totally cold. Why the hell did it explode? I thought it's just a stink bomb?

Spencer said the first thing that came on my mind that should be said. "ali, what did you do?"

Alison just stares at the house beside spencer. While I'm in the middle of aria and hanna. For a second longer of just staring, my common sense kicks in and I tugged hanna and aria to continue running. I shake spencer and ali too but they just nodded and can't keep from looking at the house. After a few more shaking from the two, they slowly half run with us. The three of us leading the way to our house. Thank god my mom is not here.

As I look at ali, she is so white. All the colors from her face, drops. I want to hold her but aria and hanna is keeping me busy as they hold each of my arms.

I tore my gaze away from her and focus on the two. But I can't help it. I look at her again and surprised that the disheveled ali is nowhere to be found. Instead the bitch ali is back. I think this is the first time I am glad I saw this side of her. We definitely needed that.

As we reach our house and entered it, we all collapsed on the sofa but ali just stood there and left the house. "ali!" I shout at her and make a move to follow her. But aria and spencer didn't let me.

"I will talk to her this time ems." spencer said, very calmly. She stood up and followed ali outside.

I just waited in vain for either of them to return. Is someone inside? Is someone hurt? I don't dare to speak out loud all these questions. I'm too afraid of the answers. I just buried my face onto my hands and let my body relax just a little. But it's not working. I am still shaking badly. We all are. Hanna is just staring at the space. Aria keeps on looking on the floor then me, then sighing.

Then something hit me. If it weren't for me nothing like this would have happened. This sleepover is because of me. No sleepover, no toby cavanaugh perving on my bedroom, on us. This is the worst thought I have right now and I will not forgive myself if someone got hurt. This will be all my fault. My breathing suddenly became short gasps. I need to push those thoughts away.

After like eternity or like ten minutes of waiting for spencer and alison, they returned. They are arguing on the front porch. We all scrambled to get outside to know what happened.

"ali! What was that about?" spencer said.

"shut up spencer. I told you I'm taking care of things..." ali replied heatedly but immediately stopped when she saw us.

"ali! What happened? Is someone hurt?" hanna asked immediately. I just stood there. Waiting.

"Yes, jenna. We don't know what happened but the ambulance is already there." spencer pointed at it. That's the only time that my mind picks up everything that's happening on our whole street. The cops, the blaring lights, the ambulance and the thought that someone is hurt. Because of me.

"ali, we should tell the police everything that happened. This is all an accident!" aria reasoned with ali. But even before aria finishes alison is already shaking her head.

"No! I already taken care of things." ali forcefully said.

We all just looked at each other. Afraid to fight back to ali but hanna found her courage, "but if we didn't tell to the cops we could be in a lot a of trouble."

"I said I already taken care of things! We are not here. We are never there. We never knew what happened. No one will speak about this." ali is looking at us very sternly. She is being a bitch to us. The bitch that's controlling our social lives. And still we are her puppets.

"Guys, trust me." ali said in one last attempt to convince us.

As she said that, a police car drove past us. Inside is toby cavanaugh.

"Why is toby being carted of by the police?" I ask in a very surprised voice.

"He took the fall for us." ali said simply.

"What? Why?" aria said in disbelief. I'm also stumped. Why the hell will toby do that? As far as I know the girls and toby are not even on talking terms.

"See. I told you. Everything is being taken care of. Come on. Let's just go to your room emily and look normal. Your mom will be home any second." ali said while pushing us all inside.

I don't know what to think, if I will believe her or fight back but I just let her guide me through my room, all of us.

After thirty minutes of just staring into each other. My mom burst through our door and ran straight to my room and hugged me very tightly.

"Oh my god emily! I don't know what to think when I knew what was happening on the other side of our street. Did you know jenna just got blinded because of whatever explosive that's been fired?" my whole body shook from those little words. This is my entire fault but she just hugged me for a few more seconds then took turns to all of my friends. Whispering to them that thank goodness we are ok and kissing the top of their heads.

My mom reached alison last and hugged more tightly, then my mom said "the only thought that make me calm is when I remember that you are with them alison. I know you will not let anyone hurt your friends. Especially my emily. So thank you!" as my mom hugged alison again and kissed the top of her head repeatedly, my heart keeps on bursting to little pieces as my mom gives affection to the girl I love. I saw ali is relieved from the way my mom thinks about her. God I love you alison dilaurentis, even you put us through very difficult ordeal. Like this.

After ten more minutes of making sure we are ok and we didn't see anything, she get ready to bed and left us alone.

"It's ok now girls. We can relax now." ali said as she collapsed on my bed covering her face with her hands.

Aria looks at ali in disbelief, spencer and hanna looks at her with their mouth open wide. I can't believe ali just said that. How can we relax when something bad happened to someone we knew and we didn't tell anyone? Even the cops. How can our conscience take that when we knew what really happened? When I knew why this all happened. And it's all because of me. That did it. My control broke.

"No ali. We can't relax. This is my entire fault! This sleepover is because of me! Everything that had happened is because of me! Toby is sent to prison then jenna got blinded! All because of me!" I can't believe I just exploded like that. All those emotions that I have been feelings for the past few minutes have just been exploded.

Ali just looks at me straight in the eyes. Trying to tell me something. But as soon as aria tries to comfort me, ali's emotion has been shut down.

* * *

**Alison POV****  
**  
This is the part where my mind didn't thought about. The most important part. How come I have never thought about this possibility? That emily fields will think this is all her fault. How can I undo all of this and not let emily hurt again. By me. Again.

As aria tries to comfort emily from her outburst I just look at the girl I love helplessly. Lost at words for her to somehow think this is not her fault, to comfort her.

The girl is shaking very badly from all her crying. Even hanna and spencer joins on comforting emily. I want to keep their hands off her and let me do all the comforting. To hold emily close to me and say everything is fine. But I can't. Again. My feets are numb. I'm too coward to show my true feelings for emily in front of our friends. Just like what I did on when the time I hurt her and maya comforted her. It's repeating again. And I'm not doing anything to stop it.

I cannot let emily feel this bad again. I promise. I will do anything in my power to not let emily be drag into this mess. Or be hurt in any way. I love her too much.

* * *

**ok...next episode is a big one...something i really want to happen from the first time i read the PLL books where alison kissed emily after the jenna thing...please watch out for it...i promise to update sooner...**

**in the mean time...comments?**


	19. Chapter 18

**didnt expect this chapter to be so short..anyways...thank you for all the reviews! i am overwhelmed...you made my vacation worthwhile! and here's another chapter..hope you enjoy this as well...**

**PS: for maya's fans...im sorry if she's not in the past few chapters...but i promise she will have a big comeback...**

**Being Jealous 18**

**Emily POV**

We somehow calmed down from all that had happened. I don't how but alison just keep on repeating those words.

"We are not in any trouble. I will take care of this. I have taken care of it. We are not there. We don't know anything about it. No point on thinking what we should have did. Just forget about this."

Alison just keeps on telling us that. I don't know if I will believe her but I have no choice but to swallow her words and somehow accept it. In a matter of sense she is right. We already did what we did. The only thing I can't accept is that this thing will not happen if it weren't for me. As soon as I think about this, the heavy feeling on my chest is back again. It's so hard to breathe.

Aria, hanna and spencer are all sleeping now. They are all huddled on my bed. All curled up together. Me and ali are on the sofa beside the window. She doesn't want to leave my side. She just keeps on holding me like im a very fragile piece of glass. I don't know but it feels like she is feeling guilty or something. But alison is never guilty. He doesn't have any conscience. But maybe she does now. I mean she doesn't believe in love but she kind of believes now. Kind of.

I keep my eyes closed just to somehow ease my breathing. Trying to sleep. All of us just want to forget this. Only alison is the one very much awake. She said she wants us all to sleep while she watches us. She is not that sleepy anyway so she will just look after us.

I swear my heart made a thousand flips just for ali saying all those words. Hmm I guess those are the words that make us really calm down. Somehow our leader really cares about us. Something we are all on doubt.

Sleep is not that coming easy but the anxiety, exhaustion and stress from the happenings have been catching up on me very fast. Another five minutes of keeping my eyes closed, I drifted off to a very deep slumber. With alison on my side. Looking after me.

* * *

**Alison POV****  
**  
I don't have conscience. I don't regret things I do. I never look back and think what ifs. I never felt bad on anything I do. But emily is slowly changing me. She is making me do things im not supposed to do or feel. I am slowly stroking emily's hair while she is sleeping on my lap. I think she is really sleeping now.

I am still wide awake and looking after all of them because of the way emily thinks why all of this happened. Because she thinks this is all her fault. I feel guilty for that. Which is a first. Ever in my entire life.

The hurt on emily's face keeps me wide awake. Her mom's reaction too when she hugged me doesn't help too. Seeing this is really all my fault but of course everyone thinks im perfect and doesn't do anything wrong. And for the first time in my life I regretted that this happened. That I drag all of them on this mess. This should be a fun sleepover. No sleeping till dawn. But they are all asleep now.

Aria hanna emily and spencer's conscience are eating them alive. Something I thought I don't have. But surprisingly enough I did have it. And I can't help but do extra stuff for the girls just to somehow ease the tension of the last nights event. To somehow ease my conscience.

What if I didn't push through this plan? What if I just let jenna do things her way? What if I got brave enough and just let the girls know all about me? Then maybe somehow I can ask them what to do. Then just maybe nothing like this should have happened.

I really feel bad now. Something I don't know how to handle. If im just brave enough to be true to myself maybe, just maybe I can change things a little.

I look at the sleeping emily and realize all of the things I had reflected on. Emily made me feel all of those things. If I don't have feelings for her I would not feel all of these emotions.

These traits or emotions or whatever it is, I thought I will never use or even thought about it. Love, guilt, regret and courage. I mean im brave but not courageous. I care but I don't love. I do bad things and don't regretted it, I justify with all those bad things I do. I know I hurt people but I just shrugged them off, never felt guilty. But now I feel all of those emotions.

All because of one sleeping girl. Just one look from her I felt all of those.

I feel guilty because of the way she thinks about this, because I make this situation to look like this is because of her. I feel bad because emily is in pain. I regretted everything because I dragged my friends in this mess. And if im not sure that I love emily before, I can never be surer now.

"I love you emily fields. More than should be. I love you. I will do everything to keep you out of this mess. To keep all of you out of this."

I gently remove her head on my lap and replace it with a pillow. I position myself so that we are side by side. I kissed emily's cheek and hugged her so tight, never want to let go. To let her feel what I said. The warmth of her is my lullaby to sleep. With that I let out a contented sigh.

* * *

**3rd PERSON****  
**  
Alison never intended to whisper those words rather she never intended for someone to hear those words. But things keep on happening to ali that she have no idea. Three other people heard her.

Hanna marin is having a troubled sleep but she knows she is sleeping. The one thing she don't know is why the hell on that moment her mind decided to wake from her slumber and feel that she is walking on something private.

Sure enough, alison's words were carried to her ears and she stiffens on those words. Not because she is surprised that alison love emily, but because she added the "all of you" part. Do alison really cares about them? Well hanna have a reason to think it's true.

Hanna can't resist but take a peek at emily and alison. The sight of the two of her bestfriends puts a smile on her face. Which is a relief since all she does for the past few hours is just to frown.

Emily is sleeping but she can see a smile on her lips. For the first time on hanna's life and on being alison's bestfriend, she saw how alison can truly love someone. How this changes everything on alison's life. Maybe she really does care about them.

Spencer hastings is just pretending to sleep. When she sleeps she keeps on turning and turning. But right now she is in just one position. Sandwiched between hanna and aria. She can feel that hanna is sleeping. She is not sure on aria.

She can't sleep properly because the guilt is eating her alive. She can't stop thinking about what happened. Why the hell did she let ali do this to all of us? She should have stopped this. She is the only one who is standing up against her, why did she not do it now? They are in this mess too deep. Although the thought that emily keeps on saying to them that this is her fault is nonsense. She have zero fault just like all of them. Well except ali.

_"I love you emily fields. More than should be. I love you. I will do everything to keep you out of this mess. To keep all of you out of this."__  
_  
Spencer used all of her self control to not open her eyes and look at ali and emily. Did she heard right? Is that supposed to be love you as friend or more than? Spencer thought about ali said, she said more than should be.

She knew it! Something is going on between her two friends and hanna and aria knows about it. Does she feel betrayed about not knowing? No. She answered. Why? Because that's the way it is in this group. You are friends with them but don't know all of their problems. If you are lucky enough to be there when someone opens up then you will know about it. But when you're not there and you're not brave enough to ask, you will be left on the dark. And this is too private. Spencer added as an afterthought. This is not something you will directly ask someone. Friend or not. With that she goes back on concentrating in pretending to sleep. Hoping this time she will really fall asleep, for real.

Aria montgomery keeps on drifting on and off sleeping. Every time she falls asleep, the images from last night is shown like a movie on repeat, which is the reason why she keeps in waking up.

Ali running from the mirror to the window, her mischievous smile, emily asking for ali to stop, ali shouting at them, ali running away from the house, explosion, ali convincing them that everything is alright and most of all, emily's guilty thoughts.

She never hated ali like this but this is too many times for her to push away and forget about emily's feelings. She know that alison love her bestfriend. But why did ali never comforted emily and assure her that this is never her fault? Does alison really love emily? Can alison really love someone? Is she capable of doing that?

_"I love you emily fields. More than should be. I love you. I will do everything to keep you out of this mess. To keep all of you out of this."__  
_  
Her eyes instinctively just shot wide open. She didn't just hear that. Alison can never say that. Saying that out loud will make it irreversible. She admitted it to herself.

Aria doesn't know how long she just stares off at the space, processing what she just heard but when she heard ali released a contented sigh, she believed alison. Why? Because ali never sighs like that. Like she has been defeated. Which means she keeps on fighting her feelings for emily but keeps on loosing. She just needs to be brave enough to act on those feelings.

Aria also releases a sigh, she can't process anymore thoughts. But she is slowly drifting off to sleep. The one last thought she remembers before going on to a deep slumber is how did emily change ali like this. Like how ali now cares about all of them. How ali can love someone. Aria just hopes emily heard that. No, not hopes but wishes that emily heard this not her.

Three unnecessary people heard alison's confession. The girl that's needed to hear those affectionate words has been truly sleeping. Emily woke up first in the morning and feels someone is hugging her by the waist. This instantly lights up her face with a smile. Emily looks at the girl hugging her; alison opens her eyes and smiles. Their eyes lock for a moment; this should be the moment where ali will confess her feelings. But as usual alison's fears get the better of her. Instead she just hold emily's hands and kissed it. Cuddled closer to emily and rested her head on the crook of emily's neck.

Emily melted by the way alison greeted her this morning. As she enjoys her love bubble with ali, she keeps on thinking about two things. Will Alison finally say she love her and what will happen to all of them the rest of the day.

She doesn't want to think about the second thing. They all don't want to think about it. They just want to bury it and never look back. Never remember this again. Ever.

* * *

**there..uhmmm...what do you think? please review! and thank you again for reading...**


	20. Chapter 19

**hello guys! it came out longer than i planned..this should be just a short one..anyways hope you dont get bored on reading this...just a few more chapters till the end...please wait for the big ending...**

**by the way just a big shout out to my longest reviewer yet..angeluz04! hey guess what, we both came from the same country! thats it..enjoy reading!**

**Being Jealous 19**

**Emily POV**

Finally after a couple weeks of sleeping in installment, I now finally slept last night for eight hours straight. At least everything is starting to get normal again.

For once the five of us had starting to hang out again. Alison invited us all out on a snack at The Grill. She said she have something for all of us.

"Got you guys something." she said surprisingly while we are just laughing from hanna's joke. Then she started handing out little pouches in different color.

Inside is a beaded bracelet of our names. We all just beamed back at ali while I strap my bracelet on. This is the reason why we are still here on ali's side even though a lot of craziness has happened. She has a special way of making us feel extra special.

"We'll be friends' forever." this is it. Bonding all of us. The secret that we will hide for the rest of our lives.

We all nod and said our agreement to her little statement while still busy admiring our new bracelet.

"Can you put mine on me, ems?" ali suddenly said with those very beautiful blue eyes.

Is she flirting with me? In front of all of them? I must be dreaming.

* * *

**Maya POV****  
**  
"hey em!" finally I saw her. She turns in my direction and walked to me.

I've been finding her this whole day just to make sure she is ok. Why? Because of the accident on jenna and I know they live just a few houses down so I know she is affected somewhat. Why only now? Because I only got my courage today. Been a coward the whole time.

I was scared if she will still accept me because I know she and ali are back to being somewhat a couple.

"Hey maya! I missed you!" she said while hugging me then just beams at me.

Oh looks like I have no reason to be scared.

"Are you free for the rest of the day? Will you walk with me?" I asked while tugging her slightly to walk away from The Grill. Mainly because I know that alison is still there and I'm trying to get emily by herself. Without being interrupted.

"Oh I don't know maya. I need to go home first, just to make sure if my mom needs anything. Why? What's up?" emily said while looking at our hands. She is the one holding our hands together, mind you. So I'm kind of in heaven right now and can't think of a single right thing to say.

"Remember when I said that I needed a little time off between the two of us?" I finally blurted out.

She just nodded so I continued, "well I'm over that part now." I finished with a deep breath I was holding, then I look up to see her reaction. Guess what? I really don't have anything to worry about because she is super beaming at me.

"Oh my god! Are you sure? Were good now?" she practically almost jumped up and down the street. We are still on the vicinity of The Grill and I bet alison can still see us. But as of this moment where I made emily so happy, I just don't care if she saw it.

And it's true; I finally accepted the fact that emily and ali will always have something special. I have seen it before but I just don't want to accept it. Besides it hurts too much to not be with emily. I will accept whatever I can, if that means I will be just friends with her then I will accept that. This way I have an excuse to be with her and do my plan. I still have one thing on my mind that I think can win her back. I just hope it will work.

"Yes, sorry it took me this long." I said shyly to her.

"I don't care. I'm just glad were friends again!" she hugged me again and I am intoxicated with her smell and the emotions I'm feeling right now. I can't believe I can make her this happy. Take that alison.

* * *

**Alison POV****  
**  
I need another distraction. Badly. I know I know. I tried this and it didn't work out the last time but I just can't handle this level of emotion just for one person. I'm losing my mind just thinking about her and maya together.

I saw them on that day on The Grill and it ended up emily hugging maya so I think they are ok now. Maya is not avoiding emily anymore, which sucks. I know I'm supposed to be happy because emily is happy but I just can't. Of course I want her to be happy but I want it to be because of me. Not some other girl that likes her. God this jealousy is killing me.

Emily had been surprisingly strong after the jenna thing. I don't know why but whenever she thinks about jenna she always thinks about it in a positive way or ends up her dialogue in a way that leaves us smiling. Leaves us less angry or worried on ourselves. Especially me since I started all these things.

I badly want to tell them the truth on why I did it. But my secret is really keeping me back. So I just need to settle on emily's words and be worry free.

Emily keeps on changing me. A lot of people actually notice it and it's not all good publicity. Especially when riley and naomi noticed how soft hearted I become after being friends with the four of them and there's one episode that really hits me. It makes me want to question my love for emily if it's all worth it. Worth it if it means dropping to the bottom of the popularity crowd.

It was a normal day, me and emily is meeting up for our joined class when suddenly hermy or lucas, whatever is his name, dropped all of his books and stuffs on the floor after some big bloke 'accidentally' bump him.

As usual emily came to the rescue as soon as the bloke turns on the corner. I know I'm supposed to help but that's not me. I'm not goody goody like emily. But as I said, emily keeps on changing me.

One look from her that said, "Help" I can't control my actions. My knees buckle to kneel and pick up the nearest paper within reach and hand out the papers to lucas and smile at emily. Seeing the proud look from her. It's worth helping.

What's next made me question everything.

"Hey ali! Don't tell me you'll gonna choose hermy as your next best friend!" riley shouted across the hall even though she is just a foot away from us just so she catches everyone's attention.

"Are you that desperate to feel important and having your four losers can't satisfy your ego?" naomi added.

"Yeah, better watch out ali. We rarely see bitch ali these days. Getting too soft?" riley said as they walk away. The crowds laughter keeps in echoing on my head.

I can't accept the fact that they are laughing at me. Alison dilaurentis is being laughed at. I know what I did is the right thing as emily assured me the minute she can talk to me. She said she was so proud of me. And that made me smile. Although the queasy feeling is not going away and up to this day I keep on thinking that.

Mainly because hermy or lucas keeps on following me and making conversations. Whenever lucas does that I get smiled at weirdly or laughed at.

I know I'm being too shallow but popularity is important to me. I did everything to get to the top. I know bringing the four of them with me is a good idea but I didn't plan on being changed by someone. I didn't plan to fall in love.

So on the next few days I keep on avoiding emily. I keep on going to spencers house and stay there, doing nothing. Or making fun of melissa, spencer's bratty sister.

"Hey spence, where's your sister?" I ask her after flipping mindlessly on a catalogue and controlling myself from calling emily. Shit I missed her. This is the third day in a row we haven't hang out  
together. And believe me it's not easy. Whenever I see her at school, everything is dissolving and it's just the two of us looking at each other. Next second I got my arms wrapped around her arm. I can't control it. So every after school I need to rigidly control myself whenever emily is having their swim practice and she asks me to stay and wait for her. That usually means alone with her and that's all I ever wanted. But I can't, because usually maya is also there. Maya is openly flirting with emily and I can't say anything about it.

I can't talk to maya about it because I know I'm just gonna end up hurting her and that means emily will be too. Which is not an option.

"I think she's with her new boyfriend on the barn. That's where they are hiding these past few days right?" spencer suddenly answered without looking up, while I get my thoughts on the right track. Yes, we are talking about melissa.

I got up on her bed and look at the barn. We didn't know who is the new victim of melissa. They just keep themselves on the barn as spencer said.

"Whoa! Ian thomas is your sisters new guy?" I instantly reacted. As spencer scrambled from her bed to get a look at what I'm seeing.

They are outside the door of the barn making out. Ian thomas is one of the hottest guys in our school although he is much older at us, he talks to lower grades. Especially good looking lower grades.

"If we can just date ian thomas then we will be definitely the hottest girls in school." spencer said thoughtfully.

"Don't tell me hastings, you got a crush on him!" I said in a teasing voice. I love teasing my girls with their secrets.

"No! I'm just saying it will be a very huge popularity boost." spencer said non chalantly.

"Sounds hanna would've like." I said as I go back to my magazine.

"Nah! She's too focused with sean."

I just laugh mildly with what spencer said. But thought about something. Maybe that's what I need. A popular guy to be mine then my status will be glued to the top.

Yes! This is good. One problem. I need to force myself to like him, which is not good.

* * *

**Emily's POV****  
**  
Did I do something? Because I'm pretty sure now that alison is really avoiding me for some reason unknown to me.

She is not totally avoiding me for the other girls to notice but she is avoiding being alone with me. I really didn't know what happened. Last week we are super cool then the next, she is like this. Doesn't want to be alone with me.

Good thing that maya is back on being friends with me. At least she keeps me occupied on things. Besides she makes me laugh, smile a lot, no complications and flirt a little? Not so sure about the last one, but as I said before, it's nice you don't have to question every single thing maya is doing. I mean I know she is sometimes flirting with me but she knows where just friends.

As to alison, well until now I'm guessing what kind of feelings does she really has on me. Our last kiss have been ages ago and still that didn't prove anything if she likes me really in that way or did she just said that out of emotion or some out of this world explanation. However intense that kiss was.

It's friday and my swim practice just finished, a couple of hours before on our daily meet ups on our lockers I didn't invited alison anymore to wait for me. And that's a good thing since she already had plans for the rest of her day. That didn't include any emily fields. Although I think it has something to do with a boy. And it causes some friction from the four of them.

As usual I'm the last one to arrive at my own locker, I just caught alison's last words then she just walk away from the three. Didn't spare me a look.

"Why are you all looking at me like that? I am entitled to date who ever I want! I don't like anyone." then she walk away on the other direction.

Aria looks like she can hurt alison there on the spot, hanna looks like she just didn't understand what happened and as for spencer, she looks like a stupid little kid who can't answer the simplest question of the teacher. And that's saying something since spencer knows all the answers.

I don't know what to react again actually. My eyes starts to water, something is stirring at my stomach and my legs starts to wobble. Alison is dating a boy is she? Again.

After a couple of minutes just staring the three of them finally noticed me. Aria just hugged me immediately.

"I'm ok, don't worry aria." spencer and hanna just looks at me very worried.

"Who is she dating?" I finally asked the question.

"She didn't tell us ems. But there is definitely something wrong here." hanna said.

"Yeah, looks like she is just pushing herself to do that." spencer added.

"How did you know that? No one can read alison." I asked them. I mean I definitely can't, just when she wants to be red, I can.

"There is something in her eyes that betrays all that she said. Especially that she didn't like anyone." spencer answered me. Then the three look at each other trying to read each other thoughts. Hanna squints her eyes at spencer, aria looks questioningly at the both of them and I swear spencer gave them the tiniest of nod. What the hell is happening?

"uhh, look ems, that's probably nothing just a fling." hanna said and she squeezed my shoulder for assurance.

Ok. I think something really is going on. Do they all know that I love alison? I know aria knows and alison tells hanna, but spencer? She looks like she know something.

"Guys, alison is right, she is single. Anyways I just have to get my things then I'm off to swim practice. Ok?" I reached for my locker and suddenly can't remember my locker combination. Damn it. Eyes, stop watering! They will notice it!

"Ok ems, just see you tomorrow ok? Goodluck on the practice." spencer said as she walk away with hanna.

"ems" aria and I are alone, I can cry now and I let my tears flow down freely.

"What happened aria?" I asked her. Hoping she knew the answer.

"I definitely don't know ems. I have no idea." she answered as I just cried on her shoulder.

After that scene everything happens in a blur. I went to practice, swim, change clothes then out of the school.

I'm exhausted physically and mentally.

"Hey" someone touched me lightly on my arm.

I turn around and saw maya. We are near alison's street. She can definitely saw me with maya if she is on the street right now.

"You ok? You look like a zombie the whole practice." maya says as she looks at me full of concern.

Why can't I just love her? I mean if I'm with her then everything will be simple. Not all this complicated and stuff.

I mean if alison can date anyone she like, I can too right? Right!

"I'm ok maya. Just don't leave me again. Ok?" I reached for her hand and hold it tightly. Butterflies erupted on my stomach, just soft ones. Not the intense ones I get from alison.

Stop thinking about her! I scolded myself.

"Walk me home?" I asked her. And she just smiles at me and hold on to me tightly. Like promising me without words that she will not leave me again.

* * *

**what do you think? hope youre excited for the next one..thanks a lot!**


	21. Chapter 20

hey guys! i know this is a dragging story but please bear with me...another chapter is ready to upload and after that there will be three more chapters left for this fic...by that time i hope i can explain why i come up with writing this story..this have much more deeper meaning to me...more like my escape..anyways im being sappy now...haha

enjoy!

* * *

**Being Jealous 20**

**Alison POV**

I'm now with ian thomas after two weeks of fooling around. He finally broke it off with melissa. Officially. I mean come on! The boy is drooling over me and just admits it. Who can resist the fabulous alison dilaurentis? Not even melissa hastings can't compete with me.

This is the first day that ian and I will tell the whole school that we are a couple now so he will walk me to my first class and we will kiss. In that way everyone knows that he is taken by me.

There is one very big flaw here in my plan. Emily fields. She still didn't know anything. I finally cracked down and never left her side whenever she has swim practice. I don't care if maya is there. But apparently, maya is kind of... I don't know, respects us.

When I'm with her, she just backs off and didn't let her be seen by emily. Of course I know when I'm not with her, maya is there but at least I didn't get to see that!

Although I can feel there is some tension between me and emily, I'm just shrugging it off. I know she is confused and who am I to blame her.

I just can't get enough of her. It's not enough that I spend every weekend with her or every after school. I don't care if it's with the girls or just her alone.

My day is always bright whenever I can see emily smile. There is just something about her.

It's monday morning and school is not for another hour so I'm just lying in my bed pretending to take my time on preparing but the truth is I don't want to go to school.

I don't want to tell people about me and ian. I don't want him. I cringe when he touch me, there are no special feelings when we kiss, and however soppy it sounds, there is no magic. On emily, just looking at her takes my breath away.

I reach out on my bedside table and rummage through the drawers. It is very well hidden. It's a picture. It's only me and emily. Goofing off on one of those parties and aria snapped these. This was taken way before I admit to myself that I love her.

I am just looking at a laughing emily. But the picture said it all. As I look at it once again, I felt fluttering sensation on my stomach. I was the one who made emily laugh like that. Bringing out the comic side of her. The irrational one. The one that doesn't always think before doing something. The one who is spontaneous and funny. Anyone who has eyes can see in this picture that I love her.

No one had ever seen this. I mean of course aria saw it but just at that moment you can't notice anything. It's my camera so when I saw this I immediately hide it. I am scared that if people can see this, they will all know my weakness and my feelings. But every time I get lonely or depressed, I just look at the laughing emily. And just like the alison in the picture, I will smile.

* * *

**Spencer POV**

"ali! Can I come in?" I need to do this. I am in front of her room and I know all about her and ian. On their plan on telling the whole school about their disgusting relationship.

Clearly alison is not into ian. If she was, she will be all over him. Just like all the guys he used to date. But that is nothing next to what she have on emily. That girl just melts when she is with emily.

She forgets to close off all her emotions whenever she is talking to emily. You can really see that she is happy. I don't know why I didn't notice it right away. But maybe because I will not believe when someone told me that alison can really fall in love. Let alone with a girl.

"spencer? What the hell are you doing here?" ali's way of greeting. Nice one, but she still opened the door.

"Good morning too. Just want to talk to you about something." I let myself inside. She just steps aside and closes the door making sure it was locked.

"I know what you're going to do and I'm telling you now there is nothing  
you can do about it. I'm still going to do this." alison started.

We have been fighting about this for the past three days straight!

And yes I know all about her plan. That's why I can't let her do this. This is so unfair to emily. Although I need to be subtle on fighting with her, she still doesn't know that I heard her on that night and judging by aria and hanna's reaction they also heard it. But we haven't talked about that.

It's like we just need for the both of them to deal with this. We will stay out of their way and pretend nothing is happening.

"You don't even like him!" I retort back.

"Why are you so jealous? I told you, all of us will be on top when this happen." alison answered back which is a little louder now. I know she will not back down to have a shouting match against me. It's not the first time.

"I'm not jealous! How many times have I said that to you? I just really think it's not right." that sounds so lame but that the best I can come up with.

"Oh please spence! I know you have a crush with him for a very long time and you have seize you're chance for him the first you get!" alison said while she rolled her eyes and cross her arms across her chest. Challenging me.

I just stood there dumbfounded. Did I hear her right? Is she implying what I think she is? Oh please god no. Ian promised he will not tell anyone.

"Wow, this is the first time you are speechless, spence. Can't believe it?" alison teases me with her trademark smile. She is so in control.

"What the hell are you talking about? I don't even have a crush on him!" I finally blurt out an answer. I will just lie for now. I am good at lying.

"You can't lie with me. Ian told me all about your hookups. Right under melissa's nose."

Shit.

"You believe him?" I said in almost a whisper.

"I do now." she turns her back and flops herself on her bed and picks up a magazine. Like this doesn't even bother her.

Ok, I know I'm in a lot of trouble here but this kind of reaction from alison is just another proof that she doesn't care about him.

"You know what; I think I also prove something here."

Alison just looks at me questioningly and raises her eyebrows.

"You don't like him. And you are so in love with her." pointing to the picture on her bed. The picture of both her and emily. I haven't seen that before but I remembered when that happened.

_Emily doesn't want to drink and didn't want to play truth or dare but alison talk some sense into her and all of a sudden she is the most craziest person playing truth or dare. Taking all the dares without thinking, just doing it._

_I think this is just after she told a boy at that party that his zipper is open then the guy got piss at her, so she run back to us and alison took care of the guy. After the guy walked away we had a blast laughing away, because well the zipper is really open.__  
_  
Looking at that picture, I felt so dumb for not noticing this. I've always known that emily have something special on her but for alison? But here is the concrete proof. And now, it's alison turn to look at me dumbfounded.

"What did you just said?" she said with every bitchiness she can muster.

"You're getting obvious. You know that." I faced her and also cross my arms across my chest. The table is turned now. I am the one now who is challenging her.

"You don't know anything spencer!" she suddenly stood up.

"Trust me alison. I know all of it. I know you love her." I look at her straight in the eyes. Willing for her to believe in me.

"How did you know?" she asked me cautiously.

"You're being a little obvious with your actions." I said smugly, enjoying this situation I'm in.

"Don't you ever start a rumor like that!" she said while advancing towards me. Shit. Ali is really scary. But I will stand my ground. Emily is my friend and she deserves someone who will really love her.

"Look ali, I have no intensions on outing you or something. That's your responsibility. But I just can't stand here knowing that you are in love with her and yet you are dating someone in front of her." I just look at her after my little speech. There are no hints of any emotions on her face. Oh great, she's still shutting off all her emotions.

"ali, I am your best friend, I mean all of us are your best friends. We want to help you. Ok? There's no need to be ashamed of what you really feel." I don't know why but I think being soft hearted can get alison to open up.

"No. I don't need your help." she retreated again to her shell. I thought I'm so close.

"Come on ali! Why do you still deny it? Why are you still afraid?" I challenge her. Please ali. Answer me just this once.

She looks at me and for the first time she let me see what she's feeling. There are water on her eyes that is threatening to fall and I know she is scared. So scared.

"I don't know how to fall in love. I'm afraid that if I give myself fully to emily, I will lose everything I have worked for. My popularity, my status. I know it's not wrong to love a girl or being a gay, but I just can't. Not now." she said defeated. She sat down on the edge of her bed and buried her face on her hands.

"Not now?" did I heard right? She said the last part in a whisper.

"spence, look, I know the right thing to do is to just come out and be honest with her, ok? But think about this. What if I can't handle the pressure and I broke down? What if my family disowned me for being a gay? Do you think emily can handle that? After what happens to jenna I know she will not take or accept anything bad that could happen to any of us. She will just think it's all her fault and bury herself with guilt." she took a deep breath and looks at me straight.

She's right. Again, alison is right. If ever they become a couple and something happens to ali, emily can never take the guilt. She will do anything to undo what she has done. And if that's the case I know emily will do anything to forget that she loves alison.

"Did you understand that spencer?" she asked me while regaining her composure back.

I just nodded.

"Thank you ali. For telling me that." I said to her honestly. She can really surprise you to the fullest. She can be a bitch but she is also a very soft person.

"Oh please do you think I will just let you get away with this easily?"

"What?" nice alison. Back to being a bitch already.

"If you tell a soul about this conversation, melissa and your parents will know all about your secret trips to the barn with ian. Got it?" she stands up and made sure she makes her point.

She got me. And believe it or not, I have no intentions of sharing this conversation with any of the girls. This is between us.

"Ok."

"Good. Now wait for me then we can go to school together." as she walks towards the bathroom I thought of something.

"Wait ali, just one more."

"What is it spence?" she answers me annoyingly.

"Is emily worth losing everything?"

She just stands there and ponders on my question.

"She is." she answered simply.

"Then why will you still go out with ian?"

"Because I'm not yet ready." with that she opens the door to her bathroom and stays there for half an hour with soft sobbing sounds.

* * *

is this lame? i just think this is how spencer would really react when it comes to emily...anyways this is just a filler...and spencer gets to have her own POV! haha

please review! tell me what you guys think...and as usual big thank you for reading it!


	22. Chapter 21

wow...looks like there really are a lot of emily/ali haters out there..sorry for that..but i have my reasons for liking them...anyways...here is the next chapter...

**Being Jealous 21**

**Emily POV****  
**  
What's happening? Last minute alison is very sweet to me then next second she is there snogging with ian.

I don't know what to do or feel about her. Aria, hanna and spencer are looking at me strangely but with ali, they are shooting daggers.

Do they know something? I've been asking aria about this but she is not opening up and it's not me to pressure her on telling me. So now I'm just dealing with this utter confusion I'm facing with alison.

We are having lunch now and finally ian is not joining us for lunch. I miss ali.

She is not her usual self when ian is around. Something is off with her. Although I can't still point to what it is.

"Hey ems, sit beside me." she gestures to the sit next to her. I just smiled and took the seat gratefully.

"Where's ian?" spencer asked while poking her mystery lunch.

"Miss him already spence?" ali said smirking while her attention is still with me and continued dividing our lunch to ourselves.

"You jealous?" hanna asked to ali.

Now, spencer smirked to alison and aria just look at her.

"No reason to be jealous." she answered indifferently, all her attention is still with me.

"I thought so. Because you don't like him." aria whispered under her breath. Good thing I'm beside her and heard that.

"What did you said aria?" ali snapped back.

"Nothing. I just don't like my lunch." gesturing to the plate in front of her.

We reached an uncomfortable silence. Ever since ali dated ian, it's always torture to have lunch. It's always like this. Wrong, ever since the jenna thing there's always been some kind of tension between all of us.

While we are eating silently and I just looked at each of them. Hanna is looking at ali with disgust, spencer is reading a book, aria looks very bored and ali is nowhere. She's just staring off at the space.

"have you heard that jenna marshalls now somewhere in the city?"

"yeah, on one of the biggest hospital there."

"Do you think they can make her see again?"

"I don't know. But I do wish so. I don't know why this had to happened to her. She is such a sweet sweet girl."

"Yeah, I know. She is such a waste if the operation didn't become successful."

I snapped my head to the conversation happening on the other table. Oh great. Another thing to make me worry.

"Hey em, what's wrong?" ali asked with full concern on her eyes. I must have been too obvious.

"Nothing." I shook my head trying to also get rid of my thoughts about jenna.

"I also heard them." she said simply.

I just look at her questioningly.

"I'm sitting beside you ems. And please don't worry about that. There are great doctors out there. Jenna will be fine in no time." alison said indifferently.

"That's not what's worrying me." I said to all of them.

Hanna just nods her head as if to say continue, so I did.

"I want to say sorry personally to jenna. We haven't done that. Or just somehow show her support. I know we are not supposed to do that because we will look guilty but... I don't know." I finished lamely.

"I know what you mean ems, but maybe we should still wait for much longer. Until the heat dies down. It'll just draw too much attention." spencer said smartly. She really is the voice of reason.

"You're right. I just want to do something for her. Something to make us feel less guilty." I said quietly.

* * *

**Alison POV****  
**  
I have never seen my girls look this down before. Emily look so broken. The guilt is consuming me alive.

Well to tell the truth jenna wants me to visit her. I don't know what she wants but looks like she just wants to torture me more.

"Guys, don't worry ok? I will do something. Just be patient with me." I hold on to emily's hand and squeeze it for assurance. To let her know that I'm doing this for her. And what I receive is the best smile from emily, so I can take anything jenna throws at me.

If I can make emily smile like this always, I will do anything.

"Damn ali. You're smiling." spencer suddenly broke through my thoughts.

Shit. I'm getting obvious again.

"I got to go. Bye e.. Just bye." I said in a hurry and rush out towards the exit of the cafeteria. I spotted ian near the exit so I got his attention. We walk out of the cafeteria hand in hand. I just have to hide from the four of them and I know I will not be followed by them if I am with ian. Dating ian is the best plan I have ever thought of.

Damn. My next class is with emily only. Shit. Cool alison. It's no big deal.

Ian walked me to my next class. Since I skipped half of lunch I'm too early in this class. So I have times to mull things over. Good thing boys are dork, or mostly boys at this age are dorks. While ian is walking me, he haven't even asked what's wrong. Just continued on some stories about field hockey. And I guess for this reason I'm gonna keep on dating him. At least he is good at distraction.

Oh great. Suddenly emily is standing outside the door. Just looking at me, she really is the sweetest. She can't stop caring about me.

"It's ok em. I'm not angry or anything." I said to her gently. And again I gesture for the seat beside me.

"Thanks, I just..." as she takes the seat I offered. She looks really uncomfortable.

"What are you thinking? Tell me ems." I nudged her and put on a playful smirk. Lightening up the mood.

"Did I do something wrong?" emily finally blurted out. So this is what's worrying her. It's about us. Is there an us? Especially now I'm dating ian. Don't care, I have to explain this to her. I can't let her suffer without trying to explain.

"I like him ems, he's sweet, gentle and somehow understands me." all lies. I'm actually referring to emily. On why I like her. Love her. I can't stand the look on her face. Oh please em. Please don't cry.

She swallowed audibly then said the question I will do anything for the world just to stop her from asking this, "what about us? Is there an us? Was there even an us?" she looks at me straight. Oh shit I can't do this to her. But suddenly I remembered all the laughter's, the teases and popularity.

Damn! It's not even Important! All of that! It's all worth loosing if I can just see emily smile again. So why am I gonna lie now?

"There was never an us. I acted impulsively when I kissed you. It's just a practice. For the real thing. And ian is the real thing."

As I look up to see her, she's gone. And no one has seen her for the rest of the day.

Aria is on my next class, she didn't speak to me the whole hour. On the next aria is now joined by hanna who is texting emily now. On my last class spencer is there and hanna. They at last cornered me after the last bell rang.

"Where's emily?" I asked after all the students left.

"Oh you have the decency to ask that after all that emotional turmoil you have been giving her?" spencer angrily retorts back. Ouch. But I'm the bitch here.

"What the hell are you talking about spencer?" I stand up angrily. Why the hell are they standing up to me now

"you know what I'm talking about. You're sweet to her, and then the next second you're shouting at her. You know how precious emily is!" spencer stands up too. Hanna just hovers in between us. I just look at hanna, willing for her to read me that I don't want to do that, I just need to. I don't know if she understood me, but she gave the tiniest nod.

I took a deep breath and answer back, "You know what? I don't need this."

"Hey honey" ian. I turn around and saw him standing at the doorway. Had he heard anything? But he looks clueless besides all his gangs are with him. He will definitely not notice.

I just throw one look of disgust to spencer and a pleading look to hanna. I want to talk to someone. And that someone is hanna.

Unfortunately it's not hanna whose running to me with smoking ears, it's aria montgomery.

She's now standing in front of me and looking at ian. Ian is still oblivious that aria wants him to leave so I nudge him a little.

"Hey babe, I just need to talk to aria for a little, meet you here in five. This won't take long."

"Are you sure? Ok." he said then gave me a peck in the cheek. I just look at aria then motioned her to an empty classroom. I didn't feel anything when he kissed. More like he pressed his lips to my cheek. No extra feeling or something. Whatever.

"What do you want?" by this time, aria had cooled down a little. After looking at her cell phone, her anger turns into worry.

"I haven't seen emily or heard from her since lunch. She is my last two classes and she's not there. I can't reach her also on her phone."

Shit. I'm just staring at aria, lost in thought. What have I done to emily?

I didn't answer aria, I just run out of the classroom and out to the grounds. I grab my phone and speed dials emily. It just goes straight to mailbox. Damn emily.

I try to be calm and think rationally. If I were emily, where would I go? I know I will not go home, maybe on the park? Yes. That would be a good idea.

As I half run and half walk to the park I thought of nothing on what will I say to her. Then I saw her, sitting on the swing. She is so broken looking. Shit.

She looks up and saw me. She just smiled half heartedly at me. That gave me courage to walk to her. That is still a smile.

"Hey, I didn't know you skip classes." I shoved him playfully.

"Just this once. I'm not mad at you. I understand now. Sorry it took so long for me to understand this. But I'm ok." this time her smile is now much bigger. It's the kind of smile that breaks your heart because you know it's not a smile of happiness, but a smile of how much hurt you has caused her.

"I got to go. Aria wants to see me. Bye ali." there's something on that bye that sounds so final. Like she really is leaving, not just the casual 'bye'.

And with that she walks away. Without letting me say anything.

* * *

bad chapter? its ok..tell me...thanks for reading!


	23. Chapter 22

**Being Jealous 22**

**Emily POV**

"em?" who's that? I am in my room thinking about alison. On what happened earlier on.

_"There was never an us. I acted impulsively when I kissed you. It's just a practice. For the real thing. And ian is the real thing."_

Those words. It's like they are etched on to my brain. Never coming off. I closed my eyes blocked all the thoughts about ali.

Knock knock. Oh yeah, someone is on the door. I stand and open my bedroom door and saw aria standing outside. Fidgeting with her hands.

"Hey, I said I'm coming by, right?" she asks as she step inside my bed.

Right. Forgot about it. It must have shown on my face because aria just smiled and settled on my bed on one side. Patting the other side, signaling I should also get on the bed. "Looks like this is gonna be a long talk." I said and sighed loudly.

Aria just chuckled and examines my face.

"You're eyes are not puffy." she stated. It's not a question.

I felt my own eyes and couldn't believe that I just noticed this now. I haven't cried since I left alison on the park. I just stared at the ceiling think all about it.

"Wow, yeah. I haven't cried." I said to aria.

"That's...I don't know. A first for you I guess." aria scoots closer to me and leans her head into mine.

"I never thought we will still be in this position even though we are not on your porch." I chuckled lightly and she does too. Aria hasn't talked yet but I'm feeling all good now. A little bit.

"em, why?"

"Huh?" I looked at her and she explains more.

"Why do you love ali? I mean yeah she is beautiful, funny and sweet, but she's never like that on the inside. I mean we all know in every move she makes she has an ulterior motive that only she can benefit." aria said while hugging my arm now.

"The same reason why we are all still friends of ali despite of everything she did to us." I said simply. Straight to the point.

"That's different em, that's just in a friendly way." she answered.

"It's the same, aria, I am ali's friend because she makes me feel special. Something I know I will not feel to anyone else. And so do all of us."

Aria just sighed and I can sense her eyebrows are in a tight knit. Something tells me she will ask another question.

"She did make us feel all special. Something we haven't felt like anything or anywhere. I agree with you on that. I just want to know, emily, why did you fell in love with her? You're never the one who just looks at the physical appearance. You always make sure that, that someone has a good heart. And ali haven't got one. We all agreed on that. But still you fell in love." she raises her head and looks at me. Her eyes make me see she is really confused.

"Yeah, she got no heart as she just pounded my heart with a spike hammer," I said that with bitterness and aria noticed it. She smirked at me, surprise that I can use those kinds of words. I chuckled lightly again and continues.

"I think I fell in love with her when I first saw her other side. It was on the park, on that very swing nonetheless..."

_"ali! Don't go too high!"_

_"Come on em! Were not kids! Don't tell me you're still afraid of heights!" ali teases me as she keeps on swinging, higher and higher off the ground. Her hair is blown up all over her face but still she keeps that elegant beauty that I never get tired off._

_She slows down her swinging and stops pulled me into the other swing and pushes me. Higher and higher. I was screaming for her to stop but no, she didn't listen. She just keeps on doing it, after being on air for so high. I just started to relax and enjoy. I was smiling like an idiot and so was ali._

_I have never seen ali smile like that. Like were just grade schoolers that's achieved something stupid but in our thinking it's the greatest discovery._

_After a moment of being in the air, something on the swing broke and the next second I was lying on the grass, dirt all over my clothes and my knees have been grazed, big time._

_Alison rushed to me as soon as possible and saw in her eyes that she cared for me. All her emotions are being shown in her face. That's the first time she took care of me and after she rushed to clinic and get __  
__some first aid and cleaned it, still she haven't put on her mask. You can still see she is worried sick. Alison keeps on saying sorry and saying it was her fault. It hurts a lot but it wasn't her fault. It just happened._

_"You ok em?" ali asked me and I just nodded. She hugged me and I curled myself to her. She is more than willing to protect me and hug there. Even lots of people are out there and can see us. After few more minutes we left and go home.__  
_

"em, when did that happen? Ali said to me recently, in passing, she hated the swings on that park. She said that swing hurts. I have no idea what she said so I didn't bother about it. But hearing your story now, I think it made sense why she hated the swings." aria said and I just looked at her. If I haven't heard ali said those things to me I believe I will just fall harder to ali after I heard aria's story.

"Still em, why? So yeah you saw her soft side but after that she is back to being a bitch right?" aria now lies on my bed. Staring at the ceiling. I lay next to her, preparing myself to say this out loud.

"On that day, when were smiling on that swing, I discovered that ali has a soft side. A side that even she don't know. Remember ali always saying she can't and will not fall in love or that there is no such as thing as love?"

Aria nodded so I continued, "I saw in her eyes that she love me. As a friend I think so but that's love nonetheless. That's when I believed that ali can love someone." I finished lamely. I don't know how to put my thoughts into words but aria knows how to put it.

"You fell in love with her because you know there's another side of her. As noble as that sounds, you believe in her and you keep on seeing that side when you two are together. Plus you bring the best out of each other." aria remembers herself telling this exact same thing to maya.

Finally she understood.

"But em, you can't expect a treatment like that every day from her."

"I know aria. As you know from what happened. But I think I wanna move on from her, and to do that I need to tell her how she let me feel all this time." emily answered determinedly.

Aria smiled sadly but proudly and said, "you and ali love each other so much, but I think it's just not meant to be."

**3rd Person**

It's thursday night and alison's been lying on her bed for the past few hours. Looking at the ceiling pondering on the letter from emily that she received that morning. A letter where an angry emily tells alison all the hurtful stuff she did to her but still prepared to love alison all the same. That letter made her a ghost all day on school but thankfully nobody noticed it because ian keeps on distracting her. It also means she's extra mean and extra bitch to everyone who pisses her.

"ali? It's hanna."

"And spencer. Can we come in?" spencer said through the door.

Alison smiled gratefully and let them in for another distraction.

"Want some?" handing ali a frozen yogurt as they arrange themselves on her room.

"Uh isnt that a little late?" ali asks hanna.

Hanna just shrugged and flops herself on the bed.

"So whats this all about? Why are you all here?" wondering herself.

"Nothing, just wanna hang out." spencer said as she licks off her spoon.

"Right, and I will believe that because?" alison challenges the two of them.

"Because aria and emily are having they're night out today." hanna answered quietly. It's a lie. Aria and emily are on their respective houses having a normal night. But the two have a plan.

"Oh" something hit alison. The two of them never hanged out unless the one is not comfortable with the other. Which means...

"Yup, emily doesn't want to see you." spencer continued alisons thoughts with a smirk as she continues to attack her yogurt.

That irritated alison but maintains her cool and answered, "and that bothers me why?"

They just both shrugged and continue eating their yogurt while alison's is slowly melting.

"spence, remember that one time that we see emily angry about?" hanna suddenly asked her, her eyes bulging with excitement.

"hmm... That's because of alison doesn't want to eat her ice cream because it's late at night."

They both continues to ramble on about that day and alison also, but in a different way. Something happened that night of sleepover that the two doesn't know about.

_Emily rarely got angry and when she does she doesn't know if it's right or wrong so just goes back to being sweet and apologize for being angry._

_Emily won another swimming trophy, spencer aces another exam, hanna scored a date with a boy, aria got her approval from her parents to dye her hair and alison got a new phone. So it's all win for all of them. Everybody agree for the celebration and sleepover at alisons house even it's a school night._

_Just like this, hanna and spencer came first and handed ali her ice cream but to no avail she doesn't want to eat it. So came emily and aria, she also tried to persuade alison but still ali doesn't want. She said it's too late to celebrate._

_"ali, come on. It's very rare for the five of us to have achieved something like this. All in one day. Just come on take a bite." emily finally says something as she fed ice cream to alison._

_"I said no!" alison answered emily loudly._

_Emily tried again, "We should have a toast or something! But with ice creams. We all have something to celebrate!"_

_Still not successful._

_Emily change tack, she reverts from pushy to sweet._

_"Please ali? For me?" emily smiled sweetly at her. Alison is stunned at emily's smile._

_'She is like an angel' alison thought. She just stares at emily and again the feeling of kissing her and doing things all for her is building up until she can't take it anymore._

_She exploded._

_She grabs her ice cream and threw it outside her window. Fuming but satisfied with what she's done, she turn around and smile to all of the girls._

_Spencer, aria and hanna are all shocked at what ali did but emily had her eyebrows tightly knit up together and looking at ali so angrily. 'alison is so giddy with excitement this afternoon and threatens us if we don't do any celebration she will drop us but then she will do that?' emily thought to herself._

_The three all thought that emily will start to freak out but no, she just stands up, grab her things and left the room in just a second._

_"What happened?" spencer asked still shocked from everything. Everyone looks to aria for explanation._

_Aria sighed and said, "That's emily when she is angry. As in notoriously super angry. I only saw her like that once."_

_"When?" hanna asked._

_"we are so young then, both of us are so excited over something, we agreed to do all kinds of stuff but when it comes down to doing all those I backed down and said that's pathetic and stupid and I threw all the stuff she did for the both of us. And just like she did today, she just ran away. She didn't talk to me for the first few hours but of course we made up." aria finished her little story with a smile. She is amused to see the girl angry again. Emily rarely gets angry._

_"How?" hanna continued the interrogation._

_"That's for alison to find out." aria said again with a teasing smile._

_Alison is determined not to say sorry but after a couple of minutes, she surrendered and followed emily's path to their house, figuring that the girl will just go home. And she was right._

_Alison caught up with emily just a few blocks._

_"Hey em! Slow down! Will you?" alison shouted to the tall brunette as she jogs to keep up with emilys long strides._

_Emily just turns around and waits for ali._

_'She doesn't look angry anymore' alison thought and she is confused at that._

_"You're not angry anymore?"_

_Emily shook her head. This made alison more confuse._

_"I'm sorry for running out. I shoudn't have force you on eating that. I should have respected your decision." emily blurted out. Alison couldn't believe that emily is the one saying sorry rather than her._

_"What?" alison just voiced out her confusion. Unable to utter any more sense from the situation._

_"Can I still come back to your house? I promise I will understand you more." emily smiled sweetly._

_Alison just nodded and reach for emily's arm._

_As they are walking slowly, alison asks emily, "how do you keep on understanding me?"_

_Emily looked at the stars and answered, "that's not the real you. There's more."_

_Alison was saved by answering because they are greeted back by their friends but alison realized something, emily is a person, where you will be the stupidest dope if ever you hurt her because she's the person who would never do anything if she knows she can hurt someone.__  
_

"Hey ali! Are you with us?" spencer asks ali while waving her hands in front of her face.

"emily is the sweetest person on the planet." ali sounded out her thoughts.

"Plus, the purest and when she loved someone, that person is the luckiest." hanna added. Looks like their plan is working.

"I'm so stupid." alison smacks her forehead. Hanna and spencer just comforted her.

"It's not too late." hanna whispered to ali.

"Sleepover tomorrow. At your house spence. Ok?" alison toughly said bringing back the bitch in her.

The two just grinned triumphantly. They have planned this all along. They want alison to realize what a jerk she is but not telling it straight to her face. And they are right.

"I missed this side of you ali." hanna hugged alison tightly.

Alison just smiled sheepishly and hugged back in return.

* * *

comments? and thank you for sticking with me...really really means a lot to me...


	24. Chapter 23

**second to the last chapter..just want to say thank you for staying with me even though some of you didnt like this..i still thank you...this fic helps me a lot...**

**anyways..enjoy!**

**Being Jealous 23**

**3rd Person**

"hey guys what's up?" Emily said as she flopped down on the chair next to Aria.

All aside from Ali greeted Emily in return as again; she is the last one to reach their table. As everyone starts to be comfortable and make the atmosphere light, Ian steps in and makes everyone stiff again.

Alison is pissed with this because she is trying to have a good opening to her planned sleepover at Spencer later that evening, but of course she covered it up.

"What's up babe?" Alison stands up to place a chaste kiss on Ian. Emily is determined to burn a hole on the table just for staring at it. Spencer and Hanna fake gagged at the back. Aria just looks at them disgustingly.

"Can I join you guys?" Ian spoke to all of them and his eyes lingered on Spencer, as he throws also his trademark smirk. But none of the girls is up to it so Aria made a move to stand up and leave but Alison is much faster than all of them. She is determined to fix things between her and Emily and she knows this is her only chance so no need for distraction.

"Sorry babe, it's just all girls for now. Next time, Ok?" Alison faking sweetness as she push Ian out of their table. Not feeling any guilt.

"God, I'm really leaving if he sits down with us." Aria mumbled as she sat back down.

"No one's leaving. We are going to have a sleepover tonight at Spencer's. Ok?" Alison said without missing a beat. All four faces look at her surprised. Well two is faking and the other half is genuine.

"What? Why?" Aria said rather loudly. Emily just holds Aria's arm to somehow calm her.

"We've been drifting apart. I don't want to lose you guys. I don't." the last two words is directed to a brunette in front of her that is still not looking at her. But Alison knows Emily heard it and knows that's for her. Although Emily will not fall for that again. She's been through that but Emily heard the sincerity of Alison's words so she took a brave look at the blonde sitting in front of her and was surprised to see that she really meant it. In her eyes. Those soulful light blue eyes that Emily never got tired of looking.

Seeking approval on Emily, and judging by the light smile that's forming on her face, Aria also accepted the invitation. So the three just cheered and started planning everything.

Aria and Hanna will manage the drinks and Spencer and Emily will be on the foods. Alison will be on the music and entertainment. After all the preparations and since lunch time is also finished, Alison excused herself from their table and goes out the cafeteria. Emily is perplexed on why Alison is leaving. They are having normal conversation at the very least, a little polite to each other but they are talking. She is not angry to Alison anymore and as for the sleepover maybe Alison is being fine with it too.

"Em, where are you going?" Hanna asked Emily as she just stands up and fixed her things to catch the other blonde.

"Just go Em!" Aria said and the brunette just nodded. Hanna just looked at Aria questioningly.

"She wanted to talk to Ali. Isn't that obvious?" Aria answered the questioning looks of the two.

"Right" Hanna said smacking her forehead. "Well what do you think Aria?"

It's time now for Aria to question Hanna with a look and this time it's Spencer who answered, "about our two lovebirds."

Since they all have the same classes next, they started to make their way there while Aria ponders on her answers and wonders when the two have knew.

"It's not meant to be." simple and concise.

"Alison really loves Emily. She's just too stupid to admit it to her." Hanna said quietly, Spencer just nodded in agreement and Aria just questions the two of them.

"How did you guys know?"

"uhm doesn't matter, but I know that for a fact." Hanna answers as she shook her head to Aria.

"She wants to make amends to Emily now. That's the reason for the sleepover. So please Aria, don let Emily wriggle out if this one. Ok?" Spencer added as they reach their classroom.

Aria has no answer to that as she still believes that Alison will just keep on hurting Emily if this continues and is still 100% on the moving-on-with-Alison plan but she still nodded just to finish the conversation.

Emily did followed Alison as she walks out of the cafeteria but Alison is not going on any classroom or her locker, as she is going outside the school ground. Emily is puzzled on why is Alison leaving the school so she quickens her pace and taps Alison on the shoulder to talk to her.

"Hey, where are you going?"

Alison is startled that someone followed her but is thankful that's its only Emily and not Aria.

"I just need to go somewhere, it's important." Alison answered quietly and sincerely.

Emily is overwhelmed by Alison's behavior. She is so quiet and calm today. Definitely not her usual self.

"Where?" Emily insisted on asking. She knows she is pushing her luck but she just can't let Alison skip classes for no reasons at all.

"I can't tell you now but I promise. I will." again in her very quiet and sincere voice.

"But you'll gonna be missing the rest of the class!" Emily can't stop to add.

"It's very well worth it. Ems, just see you tonight, ok?" with that, she took Emily's hand and squeeze it a little as she let herself out the school building.

Emily felt the usual electric that she always feel whenever Alison touches her so in a way her heart skip a beat and temporarily forgot to say goodbye to Alison's retreating form towards the school grounds.

"Ali! Just take care! And bye." she half shouts and mumbled the last part but she knows Alison heard it because she turns back and wave.

No one knew that Alison Di Laurentis is going to visit Jenna Marshall at the city today.

No one can dampen the spirits of the four girls that are now partying hard on Spencer's barn. After another party song and dancing their asses off, Emily Hanna Aria and Spencer all took a break and sat down. After their laughter's died down a little, they heard some sounds outside the barn. As they creep slowly to see the source of the noise, Alison leaps through the door earning her a hearty scream from the four.

They all took the joke seriously and scolded Alison for doing that but soon enough the party atmosphere returns and the five of them partied.

After numerous songs they all sat down just to recover their breath. It's turning out to be their best sleepover yet and no one wanted it to finish.

Alison and Emily found themselves cuddled up to each other without knowing but they felt so comfortable with it so Emily just pretend to listen to Hanna's story as Alison gently strokes Emily's hair. Emily's heart keep on thudding on her chest hard, not knowing if she's doing the right thing or this will just end up hurting her more.

Alison wants to make it up to Emily and somehow tell her that she really love her. It's a good thing all the gods are on her side because in every change of position the five of them do, Alison always keeps on ending up with Emily.

Emily lying down on her lap, Emily leaning on her shoulder.

Alison could get really used to this. Even she is surprised to see herself cuddle up to Emily and it doesn't bother her that the three girls are seeing their interaction. 'they all know already, only Emily don't' Alison thought. So she knew what to do next, tell Emily what she really feel or not. She still can't do that but one thing she can do, she let Emily feel how much she love her.

Another round of dancing and they found themselves on the floor yet again. Spencer on the foot stool, Hanna leaning on the center table, Aria on the couch and Emily on the floor while Alison is in front of her.

As Alison is listening intently on Spencer's little story about some guy who slipped on during a game of field hockey, she felt herself leaning on her back and felt two arms that are circling her waist and pulling herself closer to the person she love, Emily.

They are so close together and Emily is gently snuggling into Alison's hair. Alison found this so right, the way she arches her neck to be open so Emily can continue snuggle closer, the way Emily's arm around on her waist and how her body perfectly molded with Emily's. They are so perfect together. Alison can't help but close her eyes and enjoy the moment with Emily. She literally forgot where she is and who is on the room. Only one person mattered. Emily fields.

Alison opened her eyes and seek the brown eyes of the brunette embracing her, for the first time in her life, Alison feels completed, feels loved and she doesn't need to pretend to anyone.

Emily is in heaven. How lucky did she get and found herself locked in embrace with Alison? She found the scent of Alison so magical and enticing. Every living particle in her body is alive. Nothing can compare in this moment.

As brown eyes locked on light blue eyes, everything stops. Just two person looking at each other, every emotion is conveyed, two person who love each other way beyond friendship and romance.

The two are so wrapped in each other gazes they haven't noticed the three girls are giggling silently. Finally seeing and witnessing how two of their best friends love each other. Even Aria can't help but to just stare and smile like a fool.

Hanna nudges Spencer and they both nodded to each other, Spencer cleared her throat but to no avail the two are still looking at each other. Another burst of giggles erupt from the two so Spencer tried again, this time more loudly and pronounced. It breaks the spell between Emily and Alison.

Alison blinked first, frustrated on why the hell can't she just lean in and kisses the girl in front of her. She is so close. Emily just shyly backs away a little and removes her hands on Alison's waist. Immediately Alison felt something is missing. The feel of Emily on her body is so good and doesn't want to end but this brought her up to what's happening around her.

As Alison looks everywhere and her eyes landed on Hanna and Spencer, the two finally let out their laughter's loudly. Alison let out a loud groan and slapped her forehead, frustrated on being too obvious.

"Uh I believe Alison have something to say." Spencer tried to make an opening and then all of this can be finished.

"No I don't. Stop interfering Spencer." Alison said loudly.

Spencer, Hanna and Aria just stared at Alison as she stand up and leave in a hurry. Emily willed herself not to cry as she felt yet again that Ali had just used and thrashed her.

She stupidly believed again that something is going on between them. Those stares are just too much and Emily really believed that Alison's eyes are conveying something to her. She is scared and she's not sure but she think there's also longing in there. But Emily is wrong. Alison just walks away from her and denied her.

"Ugh! Alison where are you going?" Spencer said frustrated on the way things turn out. Alison is still scared to say it out loud.

Alison is almost out the door when she stops and whispered, "I can't." she is not sure if the girls heard it or not but she just have to say it. To let it out of her system and let out some of her frustrations on why she can't. She is so damn scared! After another half a second, Alison is out the barn. Leaving the four of them shocked. Aria seriously wants to kick Alison's butt now since she saw personally how Alison loves Emily.

How can Alison do that to Emily? Every move she did today betrayed her 'nothing' status with Emily. What's keeping her? So Aria stands up and will follow Alison just so she can have a piece of her mind but an arm extends in front of her stopping her.

"Aria let me. Just take care of Em." Spencer said as she stands up and head to the exit to follow the blonde. Aria just nodded and take Emily in to her arms. Hanna followed on Emily's other side.

"Em, you do know Alison loves you right?" Hanna said soothingly.

"I honestly don't know anymore Han, it's tearing me apart that she can't decide for herself. This is throwing me in a loop." Emily answered while keeping her tears at bay. She will not shed another tear because of all of this.

"Ali! ALI!" Spencer shouted just to catch the blonde's attention. Luckily the Hasting's are out again they have the privacy of their home to talk.

Alison turned around and nodded inside the house. Once the two of them is inside, Alison quickly let Spencer feel what she's feeling at the moment. Anger at herself. No hatred for putting the girl she love in such a situation.

"You have no right to do that Spence!"

"What did I do? As far as I know I just said that you have something to say that we both know you really do but just don't have the guts to say it." Spencer answered back.

"I don't care! I don't recall any of us talking that I will talk to Emily today! But no! You take it up to yourself and ruined our moment!" Alison is reaching her boiling point.

"Yeah right!" Spencer scoffs then continued, "as if you're gonna say it when you are looking with each other! Alison be honest, you have no intentions on saying it out loud to her tonight or any other night because you're so damn scared! You're damn scared but clearly you don't have anything to be scared about because if you haven't noticed yet, Emily is in love with you too!"

That shut Alison up but she can't let Spencer have the final say to this. Spencer is right. She has no intentions of saying it or anything. She just wants to Emily feel it but she have to defend herself. Defend herself in a way that she only knows. Lying.

"What the hell are you talking about? There is nothing between me and Emily! NOTHING!" Alison screamed the last part just to make her point. To Spencer and to herself too.

Without a second beat, Alison open the front door and walked into the darkness.

Spencer just stares at Alison's back not knowing that's her last look at Alison. Her last fight, their last sleepover and her last lie because just like that she is gone. Forever.

* * *

yeah...so any comments? hate it or love it i accept it...and of course thank you for reading...


	25. Chapter 24

**finally! i whip out the last chapter for this one..sorry for the long wait..huge writers block plus loss of inspiration...anyways, hope you can still enjoy this!**

**thank you for all the people who alerts, favorites or did anything with this story...writing this story really open my mind to more new things i can try...just huge THANK YOU!**

**Being Jealous 24**

One month after, Alison Di Laurentis is still missing. Not a single soul knows what happened. Spencer Hastings is the last known person to have seen her but there is enough evidence that Alison left the Hasting's premise therefore eliminating Spencer as a suspect. Besides everyone knows they are best friends. Yes they fight a lot but never have they reached a point to physically hurt each other. The four of them still loves Alison and missing her every day.

Even though they miss Alison a great deal, something is changed between them. They don't hang out with each other than they normally do. Aria and Emily still keep in touch but rarely hang out. So are Spencer and Hanna.

Only Maya St. Germaine stood by her words and didn't change. She has taken care of Emily ever since Alison started missing. Not because she is making a move on her but just because she cares. Emily pretty much moves and talks like a zombie.

"Why are you doing this?" Emily asks suddenly when she and Maya are studying on her room.

"uhm because I want to go to college and finish up a degree in music?" Maya said referring to her studying which she's pretty sure that's not what Emily meant.

Emily just shook her head and let out a small laugh then tried again, "no, not that. I mean, why are you here with me? I've been moping around the whole day obsessing over the whereabouts of my best friend who in return broke my heart repeatedly, not to mention you hate the said person."

"That's long Em, and you're asking why? Because I care about you. I said that to you and I meant it. Whatever happens I'm still here for you. I can't let my mind rest when I know you needed someone in these times and yet I'm not here." as Maya is talking she stands up from the bed and flopped down beside Emily whose on the floor, and leans into her shoulder.

"You don't have to be that person."

"I want to and I will." Maya said sincerely and look for those chocolate brown eyes that she never gets tired of looking at.

A ring from Emily's phone broke the silence of the room and hesitantly Emily picked it up and answered it.

If Alison is the main reason that they fall apart, Alison is also the reason that they will be together again.

* * *

"uhm..." Spencer is never the one to be speechless but as they gather around in front of Alison's house, she can't think of anything to say.

"So Mrs. Di Laurentis didn't tell you guys why she called us up?" Aria inquired the three of them.

The three just shook their heads and eyed the house. Still can't believe that Alison is missing. It's been a month. The four of them are questioned by the police for the last month and that's not easy to dodge because of all the liquors they've been drinking and the reason why Alison leaves. Of course they lied. A lot. Of course it doesn't fit with their conscience but what can they do? Tell the police that Alison is secretly in love with Emily but just too stupid to admit so she just storms out? Or the fact that Spencer hit a nerve when they talked on their house?

Nope. They can't tell the truth besides it got nothing to do with her being missing.

"You know what, this is stupid. What are we afraid of?" Hanna said while crossing her arms.

"Whatever Mrs. Di Laurentis will tell us." Emily said bravely. She is the most affected out of all of them from this fiasco. Not because she has the most intimate relationship with Alison, but because she thinks it's her fault that made Alison leave the barn. If she just didn't cuddle her, then maybe she is still here. Emily's eyes are starting to water and Spencer noticed it immediately.

"Em, don't. Please it's not your fault. We don't know what happened ok?" Spencer murmured while soothing Emily's back.

"Hi girls." It's Mrs. Jessica Di Laurentis. Every description of a mother who lost her child can be used to her. Hollow and bloodshot eyes, tired face, pale complexion and forced smile. This doesn't improve anything on the girl's feelings as they became more worried on Alison's mother coping up.

"Just follow me." Jessica said. Aria, Hanna, Emily and Spencer just followed her silently. Inside the house, through the stairs and they found themselves in front of Alison's room. As Mrs. Di Laurentis opened it they found themselves in a daze. No one dared to breathe as they saw Alison's room. Nothing is changed. It's still the same way as Alison left it one month ago. Emily's eyes began to water again and this time she let the tears fall silently.

"I have something to show you girls and please be honest with me. I have found a letter. It's addressed to someone I don't know. I figured you girls are her best friends, maybe you will know who is this for." Mrs. Di Laurentis gently remove something from Alison's drawer and let some things out.

Spencer drew in a sharp breath as she realizes that the picture of Emily and Alison is in that same drawer. Hanna and Aria just looks at her questioningly and Spencer mouthed, "later". Emily didn't bother to look up at Spencer. She is trying really hard not to think about Alison in her room. All the teasing, the flirting, the rejection.

At last Mrs. Di Laurentis handed them a piece of folded paper. Spencer took it and as she turned it around the words, **KILLER **is written on it. They all exchanged knowing glances; they all know who killer is.

"Have you read this, Mrs. Di Laurentis?" Spencer asks.

"No. I want to know first who that 'killer' is. Please girls tell me, do you know who that is? I sometimes hear it from Alison but I definitely can't pinpoint who that is from the four of you."

Spencer nodded and looked at Aria and Hanna. They also nodded then Spencer handed the letter to Emily.

"It's Emily." Spencer's words were just above whisper but she is sure that Mrs. Di Laurentis heard it.

"Emily?" Mrs. Di Laurentis seemed not that surprised but maybe she is just not that capable of expressing any emotion right now.

Emily's heart stopped when she read the words 'KILLER' on Alison's letter. Only the five of us know that's Alison's nickname to her. Her personal pitbull. Protector. Eveything seemed to stop as she holds the letter. Only she and Mrs. Di Laurentis are moving. Emily looked at Alison's mother as if asking if she can open it and read it. The other woman just nodded and sat down on the bed.

Emily's fingers were fumbling; she is scared at finding what Alison's words to her were. After a few more minutes but feels like hours to her, she managed to open and read it. It's dated a day before the sleepover.

_'Your my protector Em, you know that right? You're my killer whenever I'm too stupid to see that I'm in trouble. You never let me be in trouble as long as you have the power to save me. Remember that time when I got pissed at you and accidentally threw some orange juice on my mom's flower bed and she noticed it? My mom was livid but you automatically covered for me. You never lied but you always make an exception to me. You didn't get scared of her. You protected me no matter what. I never told you but I am so grateful for everything._

_'If you're wondering why I'm writing this to you, It's because I'm too damn scared to say all of this in words. You know me Em, I don't do this crazy stuff. I never believed in love. Love is overrated. But you changed me._

_All those times that when guys want to hit on me, you always have you're eyes on me. Watching me closely if I'm ok. Don't think I don't notice those things on you; I also always have my eyes on you._

_I guess I'm rambling too much. What I'm trying to say is that I love you Emily fields. More than just a friend. I want to kiss you and protect you and spend all of my time with you. All those things I said about us being nothing, I have no other reason on saying it just, I'm scared. I'm scared when my family finds out about my feelings for you because one thing I wouldn't do to you is for you to become my dirty little secret. I want us to be open. But I'm afraid that they will disown me. I'm a coward when it comes to feelings Emily. Not unlike Maya._

_She loves you too, you know. As much as it hurts for me to say this but you're better off to be with her. She is not a coward like me. She can protect you, not like me I just cover myself with lies._

_Just please Emily, don't forget whatever happens, if ever I get to have the courage to send this to you and you found someone that really loves you. Don't forget that I love you first. No one and nothing can change that._

_You can see all my faults and imperfections but still loves me without questions. You don't see me as the perfect blonde girl in rosewood, you see me as Alison Di Laurentis, a normal girl that makes mistakes and deserved to be love. That's one thing that makes me fall for you. You believe in me when no one would. Even if you have every reason to hate me you still make an effort to understand me. That means a lot to me._

_Just please remember Emily, I love you. And I care about all of you. I just don't have enough courage to show this side of me._

_-Alison__  
_  
Emily can't take it. She sat down on the bed with shaking knees and covered her face with her palms to mask the overflowing tears_. 'Alison loves me'_she thought. And that's the only thing that was etched on her mind. With Alison's perfect but shaking scrawl. Those words. She can never ever forget it.

Emily didn't notice that she dropped the letter on the floor. Now the three girls are afraid to read it but Aria determinedly opened it again and this time the three of them read it. After a few minutes of silence they passed the letter to Alison's mother.

"Do you want to read it Mrs. Di Laurentis? It's a very personal letter from Alison to Emily." Spencer manages to say while keeping her steady. After Mrs. Di Laurentis nodded and read the letter, the three friends scrambled to hug Emily. No words were uttered. No words can express what their feelings, mixed happiness and sadness. Happiness that finally Alison admitted it to Emily and sadness because Alison is not here.

After the emotional ride, they have calmed down and Mrs. Di Laurentis managed to make them a cup of hot choco.

They are still silent and every once in a while they will look at Emily whose tears are still silently falling.

"I have always known that my daughter has a soft spot for you Emily. Always." finally Jessica broke the silence. Not quite meeting the questioning stares of the three girls, she continued.

"It's you who she would always tell me about, all the things you do. She never directly tells it but I can see how much she cares for you. Whenever you guys are here, I always noticed that Alison's eyes shine extra brighter when you laugh. Her gaze stays extra longer on you." Mrs. Di Laurentis said quietly.

Emily looked up and catches the eyes of the older woman. It's full of understanding.

"Do you feel the same way?"

"Yes"

Mrs. Di Laurentis nodded silently and let the tears fall while they hugged each other and hold each other for support because they are both missing the one they love.

Once they settled down, Mrs. Di Laurentis reached for another drawer and Spencer gasped loudly.

"Oh so I'm not the only one who have seen this, is that right?" The older woman said. This time Aria questions Spencer.

"Have you seen that? When?"

Mrs. Di Laurentis handed them the picture and Hanna burst out laughing. This earned her stares from all the girls and she shyly explains why.

"I'm sorry It's just that, Alison have never been this open with her emotions right? She always shuts it down. But one picture tells it all."

"I took this shot." Aria said thoughtfully while her smile is growing bigger.

Emily can't tear her eyes away from the picture. Every bit of Alison is so happy and radiates love for the person she is looking at and that's Emily. And for the first time this past month, Emily smiled. A true one.

"Can I have a copy of this Mrs. Di Laurentis?" Emily said, still looking at the picture.

"That's yours." and Emily's smile grew bigger.

After few more minutes of talking and comforting words were exchanged. Once they settled down, Mrs. Di Laurentis let them leave.

* * *

"You have seen that picture before" Aria stated it to Spencer and in return Spencer just nodded. Hanna gives her a questioning look and gives her answer after a sigh.

"I talked to Ali one morning before the sleepover and I kind of attacked her with her feelings for Emily and of course she denied it but no one can lie with those pictures. Ali's looking at that picture before I came in and she forgot to hide it in the heat of our argument." Spencer retells her story as she tries to remember every detail of that conversation.

"I try to turn around the argument against her by pointing out that picture but somehow she still turned it against me." Spencer finished with some kind of a grin. Yes, it's hard to lose with Alison but they both know it's just a game for the two of them. And for the both of them, it's their arguments that make their friendship unique from the others. One of the things she will truly miss from her missing friend.

They all shared knowing looks and continued walking in silence. All absorbed on their own thoughts. As they reached a corner where they all need to separate, Emily speaks up.

"What will we do now?"

"No Em, what will you do now?" Aria asked pointedly. "Now that you know what Alison thinks of you."

Just like the way she is looking at the darkening sky, she is lost. Lost in her thoughts and emotions. The girls knowing what Emily might be feeling just gave each other a hug.

It seems that all their questions are answered now.

Does Alison really love all of them? Yes.

Is Alison scared? Yes.

Is she in love with Emily? A definite yes. But what now?

They are all lost on what to do next. Yes, they now know the answers but what good does knowing do to them when Alison is not here with them? To enjoy each other's company again. But then an expected voice broke from their stupor.

"This is stupid."

They all looked at Hanna from speaking up.

"Alison will tease us to death if we stay like this moping around. Alison doesn't want to see us like this. Especially you Emily!" hitting Emily lightly on her arm.

"Think, if ever one of us has a problem or makes us sad, Alison always thinks of ways to let us forget those. Then sneaks us up and makes us see things brighter. Or somehow the truth. Yes she hurts us and not all of her tricks are nice but still."

Spencer just looks at Hanna thoughtfully and said, "Go on."

"What I'm saying is, we just have to move on. Yes we miss her and we will always think about her but Alison will never forgive us if we stopped living our lives just to take pity on her." Hanna rushed in one sentence just to get it all out of her chest. One thing that they do know, Alison doesn't want to pity on her. She will just lash out on you and if you felt bad about it, she will do something sneaky again and make you feel better. Indirectly.

"Hanna's right! That letter is for us to make us feel better. Especially for you Emily." Aria said determinedly looking at each of them and her gaze stayed at the brunette.

Emily stifled a sob but another person interrupted them, this time outside the four of them.

"Em, I'm here. You can hold on to me." Maya said seriously, voice filled with concern.

The three gathered on one side of Emily as Maya approaches her on the other.

They are mere inches apart but from Emily's point they are still miles apart. Here is a girl that truly wants to be with her and is willing to wait but she is in love with someone that's too coward to acknowledge her feelings until It's too late. No words are spoken only actions.

Maya hugged Emily like her life depended on it. Emily stiffened by the contact but not because It's not welcome, It's because she was hit by what Maya wants to say to her through this hug. And true enough, Emily's assumptions are right.

Maya whispers on Emily's right ear these words, "I care for you so much. We will get pass through this, together or not, I will still be here for you. No attachments. Just let me take care of you. She will be back. I promise. But for now let me take care of you."

Emily doesn't know how long or what she looks like but her sobs become loud and couldn't control any longer she gives in to the hug and hold on to Maya tightly. Maya makes smooth circular action on Emily's back to somehow ease the crying and pain. She knows this is not enough but this will have to do for now.

After unaccountable minutes of just taking comfort from each other, Maya pulled back and kisses Emily's cheek, cleared the path of tears that is still freely flowing and lastly tucked a loose hair behind.

Emily have no words but "thank you". She knows this is not enough but this will have to do. She can't explain the different kind of banging on her heart, longingness just by looking in her dark brown eyes and most of all understanding on what Maya meant to her and her intentions.

After a moment of silence from their emotional breakdown, they all looked at the sky and then to the direction of Alison's house. They are definitely still lost but somehow knowing that they have each other's back; the pain they feel becomes bearable.

Alison brought them together maybe this will bring them closer than ever before.

"What now?" Hanna asks again.

This time Spencer is ready with her answer.

"We live." simple.

Sometimes loosing someone can make you lose your friends too, you close up like a shell and doesn't bother to open up with anyone. Sometimes it's the only thing that makes you closer than ever before. Looking for each other for support, knowing that someone also feels the same way you do.

Not everything is a happy ending. But surely if you just look close enough you will find something bright even if you are on the darkest tunnels of your life. Someone will wait for you on the other end, some will stay with you on the dark.

Not everything is perfect, Alison lived a perfect life. Perfect family, status, wealth, friends and she was loved unconditionally by someone but she ends up missing and lost.

Spencer always argues with her sister and being taken for granted by her parents but she's a genius and friends that love all her study quirks and family drama. Somehow living becomes enjoyable even.

Hanna is a little chubby, not appreciated by her father and broken family but gifted by her humor and undeterred loyalty; she was living a life that any other person will want just because she is happy. Still not enough confidence but she is getting there.

Aria has an annoying brother, trusting family and a perfect mom but her family is picture perfect from the looks of an outsider. Although his dad is having an affair, that's the least of her problems. With all her confidence and artistic skills she can take over anything.

Emily is a closeted lesbian and suffered a handful of aches and pain. Experienced her first kiss, first love, heartbreak and of course recovery. She have a lot more to go for her to be truly happy like coming out with herself and family but having someone to just be beside you makes all those problems small.

Every little problem they all have been rewarded with little perks and subtle gifts. Yes, everything is not perfect but also see that it's always on balance. You just have to make sure you realize all the good stuff too and don't dwell in the bad.

For Hanna, Spencer and Aria, they all know this will bring them closer and burden their hate for Ali and relive the happy memories.

For Emily and Maya this is a new beginning. No attachments. On Emily's heart, Alison is truly her first love and knowing that feeling is mutual but for now she have to hold on to someone to be her rock to do all the things she needs to do to recover. For now Maya is her rock.

What will she do if ever Alison comes back? She will cross that road when she gets there. For now, she will enjoy the feeling that she is being loved, even by afar, by Alison. It doesn't lessen the pain, but happiness and contentment counters it. Simply by knowing this little truth, it puts a genuine smile on her face.

* * *

done...

so what do you guys think? is it lame? my dad always says that ending a story is the hardest part..if it goes wrong the whole story goes down too.. i just hope i did some justice with this one..

please tell me what you guys think...bad or good, i can take it...

again thank you for reading and taking the time for your reviews!

sorry, last one...theres one chapter i still want to add this one, a chapter that i have written way before i started this story..thats probably where i got all the ideas for this one..it can stand on its own..so what do you guys think, should i add that story to this one or just upload it differently? please tell me you think...


	26. Secrets of Ali

**wow! thank you guys for the response and approval of the ending..i was really afraid of what youre reactions will be..so i am very ecstatic to find that you like it!**

**anyways this is the chapter that started it all...just wanted to share...**

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**Secrets of Ali****  
**  
It's been almost a month since the night of Jenna Marshall's accident and still Jenna is still in the hospital trying to cope up with everything that had happened to her. She lost her sight and her step brother Toby. she will be taken to the city to continue her therapy to have a normal life as possible even though she lost one of her senses. Even though life has definitely turned upside down for her she is not regretting any of her decision of coming up this plan. This is what she wants. the plan didn't went smoothly as she wants but at least the person she wants to get hurt had been hit. Although there are some complications, like she is not supposed be blinded by the stink bomb and Toby is not supposed to be away.

The room is very quiet as no one is with Jenna in her room. Her parents left her to get something but this doesn't scare her. her four other senses are very sharp now, she know when someone is looking at her and besides there is only one person that she is afraid of, but after being blinded or more or less a few more days before that accident, her cowardly act for that person just vanishes. And that person is gonna visit her today. a visitor named Alison Di Laurentis.

Someone knocked in Jenna's room and poked her head in the room, "Jenna, you have a visitor, her name is Alison. I will leave the both of you now ok?"

"So you really are here." Jenna spoke first.

"Yes. I want to say sorry for what we did." Alison spoke very clearly but with a hint of annoyance that she needs to apologize. Why did she ever come here? She didn't care about Jenna. She tricked her to put the stink bomb in their house. So in a way the five of them have no reason to feel guilty of what happened. But she can't tell that to the other girls. Jenna did this to herself. But Alison is interrupted with her thoughts because Jenna spoke again.

"Is that from the heart or just because I threatened you that I will talk if you didn't say that?" Jenna said acidly, enjoying that now she have something to hold against Alison. Or whoever she is, because she know Alison is not who really she is. She recently found out that Ali has a twin sister that is in a mental hospital. With this information in her she is holding Alison in her hand comfortably. Jenna wants to get revenge to Ali and her four little friends, that's why she confronted Ali a few days before her accident and conjured up this plan. If Ali will not do it, Jenna threatened her that she will tell each and every one here in rosewood what she knows. It will ruin her reputation as the IT girl and of course also her family. This may be the sweetest revenge that she can have for everyone that Alison Di Laurentis hurts embarrassed and ruined their lives. Including her own life. Before being blinded, Jenna is one of the most beautiful faces in rosewood but as Ali doesn't like her, no one makes friends with her even though she's kinda cool and not nerdy; no one wants to be friends with her just because she is disliked by Ali. Of course her little posse also follows, so is the whole rosewood. This makes her life miserable, every comment Ali makes about her, anger is bubbling inside her. Vowing she will make everything to make Ali's life miserable too.

"What do you want? I come here just like you told me to." Ali hated every moment of this conversation. She could be doing something much more important than this. But she couldn't go. She is protecting something. More like someone.

"Relax Ali. I just want to talk to you." Savoring every moment of her revenge to the girl who makes her life hell. "You didn't follow our little plan. Toby is not supposed to be involved. You shouldn't have  
threatened him and let him take the fall. You are the one who is supposed to take the fall."

"I'm not that stupid Jenna. I have no intention from the very start to put my name in this. You're not the only one who has tricks up their sleeves. I made sure your loving brother gets to see me, to see us, put that stink bomb. Boys are so easy to manipulate. Don't you know that Jenna?" Ali answered confidently. She will not let this person ruin her life. Of course she thought about this through. Knowing Jenna wants to ruin her she needs to find someone who she can put the blame on, and her brother is there so it's much easier. Although she have no intention of blinding her. their plan is just to put the stink bomb in the house and when the cops got there Ali will tell everything she does. Ali carefully timed this plan when Toby is peeking at Emily's room so that she knows Toby is just nearby and makes sure watching every move they make.

"What do you mean? I have you in my hands and yet you didn't follow me. You let my brother get sent away!" Jenna shouted. Why is this all turning wrong? Ali's life is supposed to be ruined but it's not. It's still her life that is ruined.

"your not the only one who is hiding a secret you know. Toby is too. And I know everything from him so I let him took the fall. If not his life will be much more ruined. He may go to juvy this time around." Ali smirked satisfied on where this conversation is going. How she hated when someone is in control other than herself. Jenna's plan backfired and she is the only target. Ali can't stop smiling.

"What do you know about Toby?" she is beginning to be scared again by Ali. What does Toby needs to hide from her? She loves Toby more than a sibling. Besides being in love with Toby is not wrong. It's not their fault that they became step siblings. It's their parents fault.

"Ha! Why do you think I should tell you that? And don't threaten me about my little secret because what I have can totally ruin your Toby's life. You don't want that right?" smiling despite of the heated conversation that's happening between the two of them. Glad that she really is gaining control again.

Jenna is lost for word. She can't think of any single retort that may have an effect on Ali. If there's one thing she regretted that happen since the accident is when Toby is sent away to a reform school. She loves her very deeply. She can't let anything happen more to her beloved Toby. Thinking hard, two can play this game, although this is kind of a long shot, "if you don't keep your mouth shut about Toby I will put the blame on your four little girls. Everyone will believe me. I was the one been blinded."

"What? Don't you involve them here!" Alison shakes her head angrily but still controlling her voice so that Jenna will not notice she is scared for her four girls. Wanting to slap her. She can't let anything happen to the girls. To her girl. Of course Alison can't tell Jenna that. This is the only reason that she is here. This is the only reason she is following Jenna. Don't you ever put my girl in trouble.

Jenna recognized something in Ali's voice. Fear. Why is she afraid of putting the blame on her group? Although normal people will not hear what Jenna heard, she became thankful that her other senses are now sharper. Sensing much more. Looks like she touched a nerve there. Thinking hard, if she played this well she may just fool Ali and still ruin her life. She must be careful and not show any emotion on her face. "I have a proposition for you Alison."

"I have no time for your nonsense Jenna!" Ali snapped back. No one treats her like this and she have no intention of letting Jenna do it.

"Think about this, if you let me blab about what you girls do to me all of your world will crumble." still thinking hard of what she said. She have a feeling Ali can find a loop hole in here and sure enough Ali finds it.

"If you do that I will tell everyone about Toby. What do I care if the girl's life will be miserable? I don't care about them!" Alison lied. She is telling the truth about Toby, but about the girls that is a downright lie.

Again Jenna senses something in Ali's voice. She is lying about something. She couldn't figure it now but there is something. She has a feeling it's about the girls. So she tried it. "Toby's life is already miserable and I know he is glad that he is not here anymore. His life is not dependent on his social status. But for you, are you sure you don't care about your group of friends? You don't care if all of their respect to you will vanish? Every little bit of trust and love will be gone if they knew that you let them fall down. Those innocent girls will never admire you again. No one will. Everyone will know how you blinded sweet little Jenna Marshall. They will all regret that they became your friends!"

That is below the line for Ali. "No! What do you want? I... I will do anything you want." Ali said sadly. For the first time in her life she is here in this situation. No way out but just to give in. if she didn't, she will loose everything that is important to her. Her reputation, respect everyone gives her, the image that is perfect and her friends, Aria Spencer Hanna and of course Emily. If she give in at least she will be just humiliated in this small room. She doesn't know why, but she knows after this chat nothing will come out of this room. No part of their conversation will be said again and her secret will be safe with Jenna. "I will do anything, but nothing will leave in this room."

Jenna had hit a homerun with what she said. She knows Ali is protecting something. After their heated argument she now knows that she can't take on Alison with the whole rosewood, but she can take her down here. In this small room, she can ruin Alison. If that is the price for being blind she will be glad to accept it.

"Tell me all your secrets. Answer every question truthfully or else. Believe me Alison I will know if you are lying."

"ok." is the only word Alison could muster to answer Jenna. This is the right thing to do. It's her life that Jenna wants to trample on, no one else.

"Why did you chose Spencer Aria Hanna and Emily to be your friends?"

"They all have something special. They have something that pulls me to them." Alison answered truthfully. She can't find any energy to lie. After this interrogation her life would be easy again.

No lies, "what's so special about Spencer? You two are always fighting. Is she the one you are protecting?"

"No, I'm scared of her. Scared that she may overshadow me with her achievements. she always challenged me. Something I find in Spencer worth keeping. There is no use in protecting her." Alison drones in a monotone. She don't know why but she can't help the feeling that if she says everything to her everything will be back to normal.

No lies again, "so it's the loner Aria you don't to want get hurt?" Jenna pushed to Ali." again no, Aria doesn't give a damn about what people thinks about her. I admire that with her. I even envied her with the level of confidence she have. Both she and Spencer don't need protecting." smiling despite of the way the talk is going. She don't want to admit all of this but there is something with Jenna that she need to justify herself with.

Still no lies, "if Aria and Spencer are the tough ones, you are protecting Hanna?"

"Every confidence of Aria is what Hanna is lacking. I'm her friend because I want her to build that confidence but as I get to know her, I know she will be much popular than me, much more liked than me." almost crying now. She never admits this to anyone. All her insecurities and weakness. She knows this is what Jenna wants from her.

Jenna can't believe this, Alison is telling the truth and from the tone of her voice it looks like she is about to cry. but she still continues, "how about Emily?"

"I need a jock in my group; she is the sweetest person I have ever met. She is not your usual jock that all that cares about is winning and awards. She does not deserve to feel any guilt from this mess. And I love her as more than a friend. So much it hurts." she really is crying now. She is the only reason why she came here. Emily has been too afraid of what they seem to have done to Jenna, she can't bear it. Alison can't bear seeing Emily in that state. She knows by doing this it will help Emily a lot. She loved her too much but also hates it. Because she doesn't want this feeling that everything in her world revolves around her. She realized this feeling on the night of the accident. She saw Emily in a different light.

"Love her?" Jenna's voice couldn't hide the surprise. Alison doesn't know how to love. She can't love Emily. But still she couldn't take any hint of lying. It's all true.

"Ha! You think I'm not capable of loving? So am I. but Emily did. She believed in me and I love her so much. Everything I'm doing now is because this is what Emily wants. I don't want you to hurt her. I hurt her enough. Don't put the blame on her. On them."

Something changed in Jenna's mind. She suddenly respected Alison. She doesn't know that Ali is capable of feeling all this insecurities and weakness. Especially love. She can't believe that Ali is scared of Spencer, envies Aria, threatened by Hanna and the most unbelievable part is, Ali loved Emily, more than a friend. All this sacrifice she does just for Emily. But she knows it's true. Alison is nothing but truthful in this entire conversation but still Jenna can't help the feeling that there is still something wrong. She knows that everything Ali said is true but how come when she is with her group it looks like she doesn't feel any of this to the girls, especially with Emily. "Are you trying to make fun of me? You don't feel anything like this to your friends! Especially with Emily. You are nothing but a bitch to them."

"I will hate myself for saying this but, that is how I react to all my insecurities and weakness. I will always put up a mask so that no one can see what I'm truly feeling. It's all about control and I have an extreme control over myself. Although sometimes I overdo it. Especially with Hanna and Emily." Alison explained.

Jenna can't believe what she had heard but somehow and how much impossible what Ali could have said, Jenna believed her.

"I think you got everything from me. One more thing before I go, Toby loved Emily too. Toby loved Emily as much as I love her. Toby took pictures of Emily whatever she is doing, changing dancing in her room and I hate him for that. I'm glad I got him sent away. I don't want him to go anywhere near Emily. She's mine." with that last piece she turns her back and let the tears fall freely and walked away from the person who knows everything about her.

"No one will know about this. I promise." Jenna whispered. She don't know if Alison heard it or not but whatever is said in this room it will stay with the two of them. Everything she said it makes her admire and respect Ali. Although she didn't get to ruin Ali's life outside this room, she felt she did. She gets to see the other side of her that no one even gets to take a peek at. It makes Jenna see how strong Alison is, how she is as truly another person without her mask off. Being blind is worth it. With that Jenna sleeps with a smile.

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well thats it! this is the first story i have ever written and because of this 'being jealous' is born!

hope you like this one too...

again i cant thank you guys enough for taking the time and reading this! as for the sequel i cant promise but i will try...


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